Spoiled Eldest Miss x Two-faced Madman

CHAPTER 124: Never Closed His Eyes Again

　　When a person experiences a massive shock, their mind often goes completely blank. It’s like everything just shuts down.

　　They say it’s the body’s way of protecting itself. When too many emotions crash in all at once, the brain can’t handle it. So it disconnects, just to keep a person’s will from collapsing.

　　It felt like a part of Pei Ji’s memory had been wiped clean.

　　He couldn’t remember what happened last night. All he knew was that he was holding his bride tightly in his arms, refusing to let go.

　　A lot of people came, noisy and loud, saying things he couldn’t quite catch. Someone tried to take An Jiu away from him, and Pei Ji, consumed with fury, lashed out and made them all shut up.

　　“Pei Ji, what’s wrong with you?” someone shouted.

　　“You have to give them the antidote. They’re dying!”

　　“If An Jiu saw you like this, she wouldn’t be happy either!”

　　His eyelashes twitched all of a sudden, like something had stung him. He looked up fast and locked eyes with the one who had spoken.

　　It was Jin Yanwan. She was here too.

　　Seeing that he responded, Jin Yanwan, who had rushed over after hearing the news, pushed down her grief and kept talking. “An Jiu was so kind. She couldn’t stand seeing people die. If you keep doing this, how is she supposed to rest in peace?”

　　Pei Ji’s eyes slowly moved around. That’s when he finally noticed that a lot of people were lying on the ground, clutching their chests, lips turning purple—signs of severe poisoning.

　　Her words jolted his memory. He suddenly remembered.

　　An Jiu didn’t want to see him kill people.

　　She liked good people. She didn’t like the bad ones.

　　He had done too many bad things. That’s why she was mad at him. So he couldn’t upset her anymore.

　　Pei Ji thought about it slowly, then lifted his hand and tossed a porcelain bottle to the ground. It rolled across the floor.

　　His thoughts were still sluggish, his mind trapped in a dense fog. It felt like he was drifting on the surface of the sea, waves crashing in from all directions, isolating him from the world. Just him, floating alone on an endless ocean—like a castaway, no land or soul in sight.

　　No one cared. No one noticed. No one came.

　　The whole world felt like it had emptied out, leaving only him behind.

　　The person in his arms was cold. No matter how tightly he held her, no matter how much warmth he tried to give, she couldn’t take in a single bit of it.

　　Instead, it was him who began to turn cold. That chill from her body slowly seeped into his, spreading inch by inch.

　　His body kept getting colder and colder. Without meaning to, Pei Ji looked up and noticed snow falling outside.

　　Thick flakes drifted down from the heavy grey sky, soft and swaying, blanketing the earth in pure white.

　　Around him, voices still murmured, whispers never quite stopping. No one dared to come close. They just stared at him with strange expressions, like they were looking at a madman.

　　But Pei Ji knew he wasn’t crazy.

　　He was just cold. So, so cold.

　　He closed his eyes and lowered his head, gently pressing a kiss to her forehead. A faint, rotten scent entered his nose.

　　She was starting to decay.

　　But that was okay. He wasn’t going to let her leave him.

　　Lin Qingyan stood at the doorway, her eyes red from crying. “Pei Ji, let her be laid to rest properly,” she said quietly. “Do you want her to become a wandering spirit, stuck in this world?”

　　The man in red, with ink-black hair and a pale, exhausted face, slowly lifted his gaze.

　　He didn’t say a word. Just started to move. Holding the body in his arms, he stood up and walked outside.

　　He hadn’t eaten in days, so his steps were unsteady, but his arms held her firmly.

　　“What are you doing, Pei Ji?” Lin Qingyan asked, panicked, following closely but not daring to get too near.

　　His whole body was laced with poison. Anyone who tried to approach in the past few days had collapsed from it.

　　No one knew what kind of poison he used. No one understood how he’d gotten so powerful with it.

　　Looking at the wreck he’d become, less human than ghost, Lin Qingyan couldn’t stop the tears pouring down her face.

　　“Pei Ji, An Jiu loved you so much. Since she wanted you to live, can’t you just keep on living well?”

　　Everyone has learned most of the cause of An Jiu's death from Ah Qi, the only person who knew the truth.

　　Pei Ji stopped in his tracks.

　　He lowered his head, his black hair hanging on the sides of his face. There were strands of white mixed in with the black hair, which concealed the expression on his face.

　　Then came a voice, low and hoarse to the extreme. “She... didn’t love me.”

　　Yes, he remembered now.

　　She didn’t love him.

　　Letting him live was probably the cruelest punishment she could give him.

　　The woman who had lied to him. The woman he loved so deeply. The woman who stomped his heart into the ground. The woman who made him feel so worthless and small.

　　He should hate her.

　　He had every reason to grind her to dust and scatter her bones.

　　But how could he?

　　He couldn’t bear to.

　　Even if she said to his face that she hated him.

　　Even if she told him she’d rather die than be with him.

　　Even if she pushed him away with her own hands, swearing never to be involved with him again.

　　Even if she never loved him at all.

　　Even if everything had been lies, all fake, all manipulation with not a shred of sincerity.

　　He still loved her so, so, so much.

　　She was like a warm ray of sunlight that lit up the barren wasteland of his world. With her, his heart bloomed with vibrant flowers and lush trees. And once that light left, his world went quiet again—just an endless, lifeless desert.

　　The places her light once touched bloomed so beautifully. And after those flowers withered, only dry, broken branches were left behind.

　　But that was proof she had been there. Proof of the most beautiful scenery he’d ever seen.

　　Flowers that once bloomed won’t truly disappear even when they die.

　　And a person once loved... will never be forgotten. Never be erased.

　　Pei Ji carried the sleeping bride in red, step by step, out the door and into the swirling snow.

　　She had slept for far too long. He had to find her a place where she could rest forever, somewhere peaceful and undisturbed.

　　The wind roared and the snow danced wildly around him.

　　The entire land was a vast stretch of white.

　　In the biting wind, his hair flew, and her red wedding dress fluttered like fire as he walked step by step toward the back mountains of Medicine King Valley.

　　There, among the endless ridges, no one would disturb them again.

　　Ah Qi knelt in the snow. That strong, grown man now had his face soaked with tears as he cried and begged, “Young Master, wherever you're going, please take me with you. Let me serve you... I’ll follow you…”

　　Pei Ji gently shook his head. Snow had gathered on his head and shoulders, and his eyes looked like they were covered in endless cold frost.

　　“I’ve done a lot of wrong things in the past. It’s time I atone for them. You go do that for me instead. What I really want now is to stay with her. Her body’s so cold. If I leave her alone, how lonely would she be?”

　　With those words, he turned and walked into the forest without looking back.

　　Behind him were his friends calling out, Lin Qingyan’s cries echoing in the air, but Pei Ji didn’t respond.

　　None of it mattered anymore. Nothing did.

　　The only thing he ever wanted in this life was already in his arms. Even if all that remained was an empty shell.

　　The winter forest was deep and gloomy. Not a single hint of green, only the endless sound of falling snow drifting in from every direction.

　　The world suddenly fell completely silent. So quiet that only the sound of his footsteps could be heard, crunching through the thick snow. That was the only noise left in the silence.

　　His steps were heavy, each one leaving deep prints in the snow, stretching farther and farther into the desolate mountains.

　　The deepest kind of grief wasn’t loud crying or shouting. It was silence and cold that seeped into everything.

　　The cold didn’t come from outside. It started in his chest.

　　It felt like there was a gaping hole right through his heart. Wind roared through it. Snow fell endlessly from the sky, landing directly inside.

　　The cold spread through his veins, reaching every part of him, all the way to his fingertips and even each strand of hair, freezing him bit by bit.

　　Pei Ji held the woman in his arms even tighter, clinging to her.

　　When she was awake, she didn’t want to be near him. But now that she was asleep, she was so well-behaved. No matter what he did, she wouldn’t push him away anymore.

　　He was exhausted. His limbs were weak. His legs were so heavy he could barely lift them. Pain stabbed through his chest again and again. Even though the poison had been purged, the torment he endured for twenty years still lingered, making it hard for him to breathe.

　　But he didn’t dare stop. If he stopped, the world would go quiet again.

　　It would feel like she had gone far away, and he was left all alone with nowhere to go.

　　The snow kept falling harder. The wind picked up more and more.

　　He didn’t know how long he had been walking. His eyes could barely see the path anymore. Everything had blurred into a white glow.

　　He stumbled over rocks, slipped on steep slopes, and lost his footing in the deep snow, tumbling down, covered in mud and battered by the wind and frost.

　　But he never once loosened his grip on the person in his arms.

　　The road felt endless. He didn’t know where it would lead or where he was supposed to go. He only kept thinking he should find somewhere cold. The colder the better. Cold enough that she wouldn’t rot, wouldn’t disappear.

　　He kept walking, heading into the wind and snow. Every now and then, he’d glance down and see his hair had turned completely white, blending in with the snow around him.

　　Sometimes, he’d stop for a bit just to fix the clothes that had been blown out of place, gently brushing the snow from her hair.

　　She still looked the same as she did in his memories. Her little face was so pretty, her features delicate, like she was just sleeping.

　　The cold had formed a thin layer of frost on her skin. When he brushed it gently with his hand, it melted into a clear drop of water.

　　It looked just like a tear.

　　He stared at that single drop sliding from the corner of her eye, then leaned down and pressed a soft kiss there.

　　She once told him she came from another world. Pei Ji didn’t know if that was true or not, but he wished it was. If it were true, then maybe she could live happily somewhere else instead of staying like this, trapped in sleep forever.

　　Even if he never got to see that happen, he still hoped her wish came true.

　　A few days ago, Fei Chen had brought him a red ribbon. On it, in the girl’s handwriting, was a single line:

　　“May Pei Ji live a smooth life, free from illness and harm.”

　　He hoped she could feel the same.

　　People who practiced martial arts could go a long time without eating, but even that had its limit. By the time Pei Ji could barely lift his feet, he finally reached the peak of a towering mountain.

　　The snow here never melted, the cold was piercing to the bone.

　　At the mountaintop, there was a deep, bottomless ice crevice. It looked like a pit from hell. The wind howled through it, crying and wailing like ghosts.

　　“Let’s sleep here. Is that okay?”

　　He opened his mouth slowly. It had been so long since he last spoke that his lips were cracked and dry, almost stuck together. As he forced them apart, tiny drops of blood burst out.

　　The blood froze in the wind and fell onto the pure white snow.

　　He reached out. That hand was so thin it was all skin and bone now, no longer the elegant hand it used to be. Gently, he smoothed the strands of hair the wind had blown across her face.

　　Then, holding her close, he leapt into the crevice.

　　It was deep. Ice that hadn’t melted in a thousand years surrounded them. Looking up, there was only a thin line of light far above, distant and unreachable.

　　He landed hard on the ice. A sharp icicle pierced through his body. Blood spread out in large patches, but it froze quickly across the ice, blooming like red plum blossoms.

　　Gasping for breath, he pushed himself up. Ignoring the pain, he broke off the icicle and, still holding her, walked deeper into the frozen abyss. He gathered all his remaining strength into his hands and began digging into the solid ice wall. His fingers tore open, scraped down to the bone, leaving behind trails of blood and flesh.

　　But he never stopped. He dug out a hole just big enough for one person and gently placed the woman in the red wedding dress inside.

　　At last, he collapsed beside the opening. Using his own body heat, he melted the broken ice. It turned to water and flowed over her body, only to freeze again, sealing her in crystal-clear ice.

　　With the very last of his strength, he turned slightly and lay flat on the ice. Through the frozen layer between them, he looked at her, watching her face from the other side of the wall.

　　His lips curled up a little. Just like always, he smiled gently.

　　“You didn’t want me to die with you, so I’ll stay like this. Watching over you. Forever. No one will be able to disturb you.”

　　His body was filled with poison. Even if someone stumbled across them one day, they wouldn’t be able to come close.

　　“Not even me.”

　　His voice, barely a whisper, drifted into the wailing wind and scattered into nothing.

　　Dressed in red, with silver hair, he lay there with his eyes open, staring at the woman below. His thin face still wore a soft smile.

　　Just like the first time they met, like the warmth of spring sunlight.

　　And just like that, his eyes never closed again.

________________

Author’s note:

One more chapter coming tonight~

I wanted to torment the male lead, show how devastated and heartbroken he was. But honestly, I didn’t feel that sadness myself. I couldn’t fully get into his mindset. In fact, the more I thought about him suffering, the more I kinda enjoyed it. I just couldn’t write it well… this is my limit qaq.

…..

T/N: How dare you say that, author! 😤 You gave me a heart-wrenching ending for Pei Ji. Ugh, this is why I truly hate villains with tragic backstories. Can't they just write a villain as a sick person, like a psychopath or sociopath with a happy family? That would be a good plot too! This ending for Pei Ji made me unable to read for several days, and when I finally did, I read it extra slowly—like, I’d read a paragraph, then stop for a few minutes… then another paragraph, then pause again.

To say I'm sad? I'm not sad. I just feel extremely uncomfortable inside my heart.

So after I finished MTL+reading this novel before, I thought to myself: Let’s make my dearest readers read this too!

Muahahahaha, let’s suffer together. 😈 

Love you all, hahahaha 💕

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