The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress
CHAPTER 8: My Feet Smell Nice
As soon as Xie Yuanxun stepped into the hall, he frowned and asked, “Who was here?”
Shen Ling: “???” Does he have a dog’s nose or what? Jing Fei had left quite a while ago. Even if there was a stranger’s scent, it should have faded by now. How did he still notice?
Xie Yuanxun’s gaze turned icy, like he was ready to kill whoever it was. Shen Ling suddenly remembered a nature documentary she had once watched about lions. When a lion goes out hunting and comes back to find another animal’s scent in its territory, it will hunt that animal down and kill it. Lions have an insanely strong sense of territorial ownership. The more she thought about it, the more Xie Yuanxun resembled a lion. If he had a mane around his neck, there would basically be no difference. Pfft, it was kind of funny. Shen Ling clenched her teeth and barely managed to hold back her laughter.
With a hint of suppressed amusement still in her voice, Shen Ling said, “Jing Fei was here just now.”
Xie Yuanxun paused, then asked, “Who’s that?”
Shen Ling: “……”
—Your woman.
—Who else could she be but your woman?
He said casually, “Why bother meeting someone so irrelevant?”
Xie Yuanxun genuinely did not care about that so-called Jing Fei at all. He had no impression of her whatsoever. Even though Jing Fei was one of his consorts, he could not remember who she was or what she looked like. Since he could not remember, he simply categorized her as someone unimportant.
Shen Ling: “……” Huh? What does he mean by irrelevant? Oh right, Xie Yuanxun is the Emperor. Of course he can afford to not take Jing Fei seriously. He can. But she cannot!
—Jing Fei is a Fei, and I am just a Guiren. If she comes to see me, can I really shut the door and refuse to meet her?
—Xie Yuanxun, you are seriously an ancestor. Just because you are powerful does not mean I am powerful too! If you promote me to the same rank as her, no, make me Empress…… actually, why not just make me the highest-ranking person in the Harem, the Empress Dowager? If I were the Empress Dowager, I could point at Jing Fei’s face and call her ugly, and she would still have to smile and say the Empress Dowager is absolutely right.
Listening to Shen Ling’s inner wish to become Empress Dowager, Xie Yuanxun realized for the first time that her rank was indeed a bit low. He had never really paid attention to such things before.
Xie Yuanxun asked, “Are you satisfied with being a Guiren? Have you ever thought about moving up?”
Shen Ling gave an awkward laugh. “Satisfied. I am very satisfied. Your Majesty letting me be a Guiren is already great favor. How would I dare to covet anything more?”
—No, of course I want a higher rank!
Shen Ling did not know why Xie Yuanxun was asking this. Maybe he wanted her to say she was dissatisfied, so he could smoothly promote her. But what if he did the opposite? If she said she was unhappy, he might think she was ambitious and never content, and just revoke her Guiren title altogether. Would that not be a huge loss? There was also the possibility that he genuinely wanted to promote her, but Shen Ling felt that sounded a bit too dreamy. Better to stay grounded and not fantasize.
Xie Yuanxun clicked his tongue and pinched Shen Ling’s cheek. Such a two-faced woman. He deliberately said, “I was originally thinking of making you a Fei. Since you say you are very satisfied being a Guiren, then I will listen to you and not promote you.”
Shen Ling: “……”
—Pfft…… I am about to vomit blood!
—I thought he was just teasing me, but he was not?! Such a chance to become a Fei just slipped through my fingers. My heart hurts so much I want to die!
Seeing her regretful expression, Xie Yuanxun was satisfied. He pulled her hand over and asked, “What are you doing?”
Shen Ling replied weakly, “Dyeing my nails.”
She had only finished three fingers. One was done by herself, the other two by Liu Zhu. Looking at her pretty nails, the gloomy mood from losing the chance to become a Fei instantly lifted.
Shen Ling held out her dyed fingers for Xie Yuanxun to see. “Isn’t the red really pretty? I specifically had the palace servants go pick this kind of red balsam flower.”
Xie Yuanxun examined them carefully. After thinking for a moment, he lifted one finger. “Which palace servant dyed this one for you? It is ugly.” He commented harshly.
Shen Ling: “……”
—I dyed that one myself.
—I only dyed one finger, and you picked it out immediately!
—Is it really that ugly?
Shen Ling pretended not to care and asked, “Your Majesty, is it really that bad?”
“Ugly,” he replied without hesitation, his face full of criticism. “Too ugly. Hard to look at.”
Shen Ling felt like several knives had been stabbed into her heart without mercy. She looked sadly at her finger, then heard Xie Yuanxun ask again who dyed it. Shen Ling coughed lightly.
“……I forgot who dyed it for me.”
—Even if beaten to death, I am not saying it was me. Do I not need dignity?
Xie Yuanxun looked at her. “Is there nothing inside that head of yours? You can even forget something like this. You have such a big head, yet it is all for show and completely useless.”
Shen Ling almost failed to control the terrifying expression twisting across her face.
—You don’t know anything! My brain is right up there in my big head! It’s smart, kind, and shining bright. Way better than you, you black-hearted man!
Xie Yuanxun let out a light chuckle. His hands itched, and suddenly he decided to try dyeing her nails himself. “Where are the things? Bring them here. I’ll do it for you.”
Shen Ling raised an eyebrow. “Your Majesty, you know how to dye nails?” He really didn’t seem like the type to do something like that.
Xie Yuanxun said firmly, “No, it’s my first time. But even if it’s my first time, it’ll look better than anything you could do yourself.”
Shen Ling: “……”
—What the hell gives you that confidence?
She rolled her eyes discreetly.
—I get it now. This dog of a man totally knows that finger was dyed by me. That’s why he’s pretending not to know and asking over and over. Asking, asking, asking—what’s the point?
Liu Zhu brought over the dye and cloth. Xie Yuanxun told Shen Ling, “You can stretch out your hand now. If you’re slow and it doesn’t look good, that’s your fault.”
Shen Ling forced a half-smile and let out a tiny laugh. This man really had zero self-awareness! He was trying to shift the blame for bad nail work onto her, and honestly, his skill at dodging responsibility was impressive. She could only admire him—begrudgingly.
Shen Ling held out her hand, mentally prepared for her nails to look terrible.
But…
He actually did a great job.
The more she looked, the wider her eyes grew. How could Xie Yuanxun… how could he dye nails so perfectly? Better than she, a woman, could do herself! Who was really the woman here?!
Xie Yuanxun looked at her hand with clear satisfaction and said, “I did a pretty good job. Just one tiny flaw, though. Tsk.”
Shen Ling: “……”
—Please stop, wuwuwu, I’m already blushing from embarrassment.
Xie Yuanxun suddenly thought of something. He lowered his gaze to her feet and asked, “Did you dye your toes?”
Shen Ling was still drowning in the emotion of feeling completely useless compared to this man. Hearing his question, she honestly shook her head. “No.”
Xie Yuanxun’s interest was piqued. He wrapped an arm around her waist, lifted her up, carried her to the bed, and casually tossed her onto the covers. Then he grabbed her foot and pulled off her white sock. “I’ll dye your toes too.”
Shen Ling’s toes curled slightly as she obediently let him do as he pleased.
Xie Yuanxun said, “I’ve heard that some women out there have smelly feet. If that were the case with you and it ruined my mood, I might feel like chopping your feet off.” He added calmly, “Fortunately, you’re not like that, so I don’t actually need to cut them off.”
Shen Ling: “……” She wasn’t, she didn’t, don’t talk nonsense!
—My feet smell nice, okay? Not smelly at all!
—You’re the one who stinks, you dog of a man.
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