The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 18: You Don’t Kiss as Well as Me

　　Shen Ling stared blankly at the so-called “Grand General,” a massive Tibetan Mastiff, her expression deadpan. The huge dog, which had been so fierce with Madam Jiang, didn’t show much on its face either… no, wait, maybe it did. Shen Ling thought she saw, just maybe, a tiny flicker of disdain in its eyes.

　　“……” Shen Ling swallowed hard.

　　Her legs, hidden beneath her skirts, trembled slightly.

　　This dog was ridiculously tall! Waist-height at least!

　　Xie Yuanxun reached out and touched the dog’s head. Its expression immediately softened, submissive and obedient.

　　“……” Shen Ling’s face twisted in disbelief. Even dogs played favorites?

　　Xie Yuanxun’s long, slender fingers stroked the dog’s glossy black fur. His gaze flicked to Shen Ling, who had been standing frozen since the dog was brought up to the Zhaixing Tower. “Aren’t you coming over? Didn’t you say you wanted to thank him in person?”

　　Shen Ling took a deep breath.

　　—It’s not some cute toy. You’re a big dog, and you’re no better yourself.

　　—I...I'm so miserable!

　　She tried cautiously, “Your Majesty, I’ll just watch from here. It’s your ‘Grand General,’ and I’m just a lady of the Harem. I should keep a bit of distance.”

　　Since Xie Yuanxun had given the dog the grandiose title of Grand General, Shen Ling twisted the reasoning any way she could to justify staying away from it.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “But I want you to come touch him.”

　　Shen Ling: “……” No.

　　Xie Yuanxun: “You won’t move? Are you afraid of the Grand General?”

　　Shen Ling nodded emphatically. “Afraid, very afraid.”

　　Xie Yuanxun: “See him more often. The more you see him, the less you’ll be afraid.”

　　—You’re not following the script! I’m supposed to get a get-out-of-jail-free card here. If I’m scared, you should let me stay put!

　　Shen Ling whispered, “I’m scared, Your Majesty……”

　　Xie Yuanxun suddenly frowned. “You being afraid won’t do. How can a consort standing by my side be timid and fearful? If that were the case, then such a person shouldn’t exist at all. Don’t you agree, Bao Fei?”

　　Shen Ling wanted to slap him.

　　Wasn’t he basically forcing her to choose between life and death with that one sentence? Shen Ling had really had enough of these dark days—trembling beside him, sleepless at night, unable to eat properly during the day, gloomy all the time, too drained to lift a finger…

　　Xie Yuanxun: ???

　　Who is she even talking about?

　　Shen Ling smoothed her sleeves, lifted her head, and said seriously, “Your Majesty, you are right. Cowards do not deserve to be by your side.” Choosing life over death without hesitation, she placed her hand on the Tibetan Mastiff’s head, her face calm while her mind silently chanted:

　　—It’s a little dog, it’s a little dog, it’s a little dog, it’s a little dog…

　　Xie Yuanxun watched her, suddenly puzzled. Was Shen Ling brave or timid? If she was brave, why did she still treat the Grand General like a little puppy, pretending it wasn’t scary? But if she was timid, then why had she not flinched at all when he had brought her to see the divine beasts in the Beast Garden? Back then, she’d thought the divine beast was cute and adorable.

　　Shen Ling ran her hand over the dog’s fur. It felt surprisingly nice—nothing like she had imagined. She couldn’t be blamed for being scared; the dog was enormous and powerful. She was just a frail woman, and one bite from it could end her life.

　　Facing a creature that could so easily kill her, it was natural for her heart to feel weak.

　　What? Why wasn’t she scared in front of Xie Yuanxun?

　　She wanted to say she was terrified! But whenever she was with Xie Yuanxun, she always played the obedient role, never opposing him. More importantly…

　　Xie Yuanxun could understand human speech! The Grand General, however, was just an animal. No matter how intelligent, it could not communicate with humans.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “What if you kept him?”

　　It was a sudden idea that had popped into his head.

　　Shen Ling froze, then carefully replied, “There isn’t a place in my palace suitable for the Grand General. Besides, you’ve raised him to be so strong and imposing. I don’t have experience keeping such an animal, so it’s better to just forget it.”

　　—Dream on, I am not raising it.

　　—Absolutely not!

　　—It’s such a huge animal. A few pats are fine, but if I had to bring him back to Chang Le Palace, I’d cry.

　　Xie Yuanxun hesitated. “Don’t you think he’s cute?”

　　He studied her expression, puzzled. She wanted to raise the divine beasts, so why wouldn’t she want to raise the Grand General? Was it because the dog’s fur was pure black while the divine beasts’ fur was black and white? Just missing one color, and she didn’t like it?

　　Shen Ling was momentarily at a loss for words at Xie Yuanxun’s question. “......”

　　—Cute?

　　—It's more like terrifying! What exactly does this heartless big dog intend to do to someone as fragile as me?

　　—Being your woman is just way too hard.

　　Xie Yuanxun couldn’t help but laugh at her. If she didn’t want to raise the Grand General and was so resistant, then fine, no raising it. After all, the divine beast she had wanted to raise had already been killed by him.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “No raising it, then. I was worried you’d only end up making it look ugly anyway.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—Then why did you ask me all these questions? What are you asking? What the hell are you asking?!

　　—You trashy big dog!

　　The two of them stayed in the Zhaixing Tower until nightfall. The tower was stunning, with sweeping eaves, carved beams, and painted rafters. Looking up, the sky was filled with countless sparkling stars, gathering into a vast river of light. The longer one stared, the more it felt like your soul could be swallowed by the starry expanse—pure serenity, a kind of awe that filled your whole being.

　　Shen Ling’s eyes shimmered as she gazed at the Milky Way, unable to help herself. “It’s so beautiful.”

　　Hearing no reply, she turned her head and met Xie Yuanxun’s gaze. The soft glow of the lanterns mixed with the starlight, highlighting his bold aura and sharp, defined features. Shen Ling’s heartbeat sped up.

　　Xie Yuanxun didn’t look away. “It really is beautiful.”

　　Shen Ling felt her ears warm and quickly looked down, unusually shy. The scene had somehow drawn out this rare flush of embarrassment. “Your Majesty, it’s not as beautiful as you say.” Though, truthfully, she was beautiful—every time she brushed her hair and looked into her bronze mirror, she was struck by her own reflection.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s expression faltered slightly, and he said softly, “What are you thinking? I’m talking about the stars in the sky.”

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　Suddenly, it hit her—she had misread him…

　　She forced a calm, indifferent face. “Oh, yes, I meant the Milky Way too.” If she didn’t feel awkward, then the embarrassment would fall on him instead.

　　—Big dog, you are seriously hopeless.

　　—If you weren’t the Emperor, you’d be doomed to die alone!

　　Xie Yuanxun let out a soft laugh and reached out his hand. Shen Ling stepped forward, placing hers in his, gritting her teeth as she thought:

　　—If only I had superhuman strength. Then I could crush you, big dog, and erase all of my embarrassing past forever.

　　—Dad can’t help me, mom can’t help me either, sigh.

　　Xie Yuanxun pulled her into his arms. Shen Ling instinctively leaned against him, finding a comfortable angle. She couldn’t help it—after being held by him so many times, this had become an almost unconscious habit.

　　He lifted his hand, his fingers brushing against the corner of her eye, then sliding across her eyelid, tracing her lashes with careful, gentle movements.

　　Shen Ling shivered. This is ridiculous—he’s not going to poke out my eyes, right?!

　　He kept touching her eye like this for what felt like half a quarter of an hour. Shen Ling was frozen in place. “......” If he didn’t stop soon, her eyelids were going to be rubbed bald!

　　Finally, Xie Yuanxun withdrew his hand. Shen Ling exhaled, blinking a few times. Good, her eyes were still working fine.

　　“Your Majesty, you—ugh!”

　　Her words were cut off as Xie Yuanxun covered her mouth with his.

　　His lips pressed against hers, leaving no space at all.

　　Shen Ling’s first thought wasn’t shock that he had kissed her, but—

　　—My lips hurt!

　　He had suddenly pulled her in, and her soft lips collided with his firm teeth in a painfully real way. Ow, it hurt so much.

　　—I almost want to cry…

　　Xie Yuanxun finally let go of her mouth, raising an eyebrow. Just a kiss, and she’s already moved to tears? He stared at her for a moment, then snorted. “So this is what the late Emperor enjoyed when it came to… male-female pleasures?”

　　His voice was sharp and cutting. “Such things between men and women, nothing more. Boring, dull.”

　　Shen Ling: “？？？”

　　Shen Ling didn’t have time to soothe her sore lips. Her eyes went wide as she first pointed at Xie Yuanxun, then at herself. “Your Majesty, are you saying that our kiss was boring and dull?”

　　Xie Yuanxun casually nodded. “Mm.”

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　—Boring and dull… for kissing me, such a great beauty?

　　—This is absolutely intolerable!

　　—And what you did wasn’t even a kiss, it was head-butting! No way, I must make you take back saying kissing me is boring.

　　Xie Yuanxun looked at her silently. “......” What exactly did she want him to take back?

　　Shen Ling pointed her finger at him again. “Your Majesty, shall we do it again?”

　　“Oh?” he replied.

　　Hearing that single “oh,” Shen Ling’s hands itched to smack him.

　　—Oh? What do you mean ‘oh’? You make it sound like I’m some insatiable little thing, when all I want is for you to correct your terrible impression of kissing…

　　—Huh?

　　—Huh huh huh!

　　Shen Ling screamed a few times in her head.

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced sideways, frowning. What on earth is she surprised about?

　　The next second, he got his answer.    

　　—When he kissed me, he was so rough… h-he… he… he probably hasn’t kissed anyone before!

　　Xie Yuanxun stayed silent.

　　His expression darkened, and his gaze turned dangerously sharp.

　　Shen Ling had no idea his mood had shifted. She was still scrolling through thoughts in her head:

　　—Come to think of it… it’s not impossible…

　　—Before, when I served him at night, he only held me to sleep. He never touched me. If that counts as him being chaste and restrained, it’s a little weird, but I could accept it. But now… now he’s crossed the line. He really doesn’t know how to kiss?!

　　—Oh wow!

　　—He must be a virgin. That’s why he’s so innocent, thinking that lips touching lips automatically counts as a kiss.

　　Shen Ling’s eyes couldn’t help softening with affection. She hadn’t expected that Xie Yuanxun was still a virgin! She was just about to comfort him when she saw the chill in his bone-deep gaze. Swallowing her feelings, she quickly pushed away all the affection in her eyes.

　　She had forgotten—Xie Yuanxun was not someone to be associated with the word “tenderness.”

　　Leaning forward, Shen Ling slowly approached him, pressing her lips to his.

　　Xie Yuanxun sneered. Wait… isn’t this the same as when he kissed her before? No… no, this really is different.

    

    

    

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