The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 39: Your Majesty, What on Earth Are You Doing?!

　　Facing the old maid who lunged at her with a twisted, ferocious expression, the first emotion Shen Ling’s nerves registered wasn’t fear. It was a strong sense of being scammed. The kind where the seller shouts “Refrigerator! Airplane! Washing machine!” with great enthusiasm, but when you actually draw the prize, it’s nothing but “Thank you for your patronage” every single time.

　　Senior Eunuch Feng shifted his foot, ready to rush forward and subdue the old maid. Xie Yuanxun raised a hand to stop him. “No need. I want to see what she’ll do.”

　　The moment his words fell, Shen Ling’s hand, trained by Xie Yuanxun into pure reflex, had already fired the sleeve arrow. It shot straight at the old maid’s forehead. The old maid clearly hadn’t expected Shen Ling to carry such a weapon. Shock flooded her face as the arrow struck. Blood spilled from her mouth. “Tyr… tyrant… demon… demon consort…”

　　Shen Ling, “……”

　　—Hey! If you’re going to insult him, then insult him. Why drag me into it? How am I a demon?

　　“Tyrant! You… you killed the young lady we were sending into the palace. You flayed her during the selection. It’s my failure, my son’s failure, that we couldn’t kill you to avenge her. But someone will kill you eventually. News of your death is coming… coming soon…”

　　“I’ll be waiting for you… in hell…”

　　Her voice grew weaker and weaker until it faded away.

　　Shen Ling raised a brow.

　　—So the so-called “Skin Beauty” I met when I first entered the palace was a spy with ulterior motives too.

　　—Tsk. At least you’re self-aware enough to know you’re heading to hell.

　　Once the woman died, the entire place fell into silence. Madam Jiang and Shen Xi stared at Shen Ling in horror. They had never imagined Shen Ling would kill someone. Even more so, after killing, there was no fear on her face. Only composure. That calmness unsettled them far more than blood ever could.

　　Shen Xi trembled. No wonder Shen Ling was favored. Xie Yuanxun killed without blinking, and she did the same.

　　Madam Jiang no longer dared entertain any thoughts of going against Shen Ling. If she could kill someone right in front of Xie Yuanxun without hesitation, what wouldn’t she dare to do?

　　Xie Yuanxun showed not the slightest displeasure. Calmly, he lowered Shen Ling’s stiff, still-raised hand. To him, killing was nothing remarkable. It wasn’t as if he had never done it himself.

　　“Hang her up as well.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng bowed his head. “Yes.”

　　Madam Yang dropped to her knees in terror. “Your Majesty, I have nothing to do with her. I had no idea she would attempt to attack you. Please spare me, Your Majesty, please spare me.” She was terrified Xie Yuanxun would have her hung up as well.

　　“Get out,” Xie Yuanxun said coldly.

　　“Yes, yes, yes.” Madam Yang hurriedly pulled Miss Yang away with her, not daring to linger for even a second.

　　Xie Yuanxun looked at Shen Ling. “Why aren’t you saying anything?”

　　Shen Ling, “……”

　　—I… I killed someone?

　　—Was she really killed by me?

　　Her gaze drifted, unfocused. Even now, Shen Ling still didn’t feel the reality of having taken a life. When she fired the sleeve arrow at the old maid’s head, it had been pure instinct. Her body reacted on its own. Her mind hadn’t consciously decided to kill. It was like a knee-jerk reflex. Tap the knee, and before your brain even processes it, the leg kicks out on its own.

　　Killing that old maid had been the same.

　　Xie Yuanxun frowned. To him, there was nothing wrong with killing. But looking at Shen Ling’s disbelieving expression, he very rarely tried to see things from her perspective. Was she scared?

　　If she was scared, then… fine. He would comfort her.

　　“If she hadn’t died, the one dead would’ve been you,” Xie Yuanxun said. “Didn’t you see? There was poison smeared on her dagger.”

　　Shen Ling felt a little better after hearing that.

　　“If you didn’t dare to kill her,” he continued, “then you’d deserve it if you died instead.”

　　Shen Ling, “…… Couldn’t you have helped?”

　　“I trusted you to handle it.” He had been watching from the side the whole time. If she truly couldn’t bring herself to act, he would have stepped in and ended it himself.

　　Xie Yuanxun clasped Shen Ling’s hand, threading their fingers together. There was a trace of satisfaction in his voice. “Now you’re someone whose hands are stained with blood too.”

　　—Wow, thanks a lot for your trust!!

　　—And whose fault is it that my hands are stained with blood now? You’re the main culprit, so what exactly are you so happy about?!

　　After returning to the Imperial Hunting Palace, Shen Ling immediately went to wash her hands. She even dragged Xie Yuanxun along to wash with her.

　　That night, she fell asleep but was soon jolted awake, her forehead damp with cold sweat. Turning her head, she saw Xie Yuanxun sleeping soundly beside her, looking perfectly at ease.

　　A surge of wicked impulse rose in her chest, and she kicked him awake.

　　—Sleep? You think you get to sleep? If I can’t sleep, neither can you.

　　Xie Yuanxun reached out and pulled her into his arms. “Can’t sleep?”

　　Shen Ling’s face was dark. “No. I can’t.”

　　“If you can’t sleep, then don’t,” he replied calmly. “I’ll sleep first.”

　　Shen Ling, “……”

　　—In your dreams.

　　—As long as I’m awake tonight, don’t even think about sleeping. If there’s suffering, we share it. If there’s happiness, I enjoy it alone. And right now, this is a moment of shared suffering for the two of us!    

　　Shen Ling wriggled restlessly in Xie Yuanxun’s arms like a fidgety doll, nudging here and there, her hands roaming over him without restraint. Xie Yuanxun opened his eyes, slid an arm around her waist, and flipped her beneath him. He lowered his forehead to hers and kissed her. Shen Ling looped her arms around his neck and kissed him back.

　　The hollow, drifting panic from earlier, the lingering shock of having taken a life, slowly faded from her mind. All she wanted now was to kiss him, to do more with him. Only this could steady her, could drown out everything else.

　　What they had not finished in the Imperial Palace, they completed tonight. In that very moment when he entered her, Shen Ling’s face scrunched up tightly. The sensation was even sharper than when he had knocked her on the head. With a pitiful expression, she said, “Your Majesty, how about… you pull out first?”

　　—Just stay outside and rub against me or something. Don’t go in. It’s uncomfortable.

　　Xie Yuanxun let out a low laugh. “Not happening.”

　　Shen Ling retorted without thinking, “Then I’ll pull back.” But his grip on her waist was firm. Even if she wanted to retreat, she could not. As they exchanged words, the pain in her body slowly shifted. It was no longer just discomfort. A tingling warmth spread through her, like the ticklish itch at the sole of her foot.

　　Pfft. She actually laughed. What kind of ridiculous comparison was that?

　　After that, she could no longer laugh. Xie Yuanxun drew her deeper and deeper into the tide of sensation. Her body trembled, overwhelmed, as if her bones had been taken apart, leaving her weak and boneless. She gasped for breath, her entire body soft and burning hot.

　　Xie Yuanxun, “One more time.”

　　Sheng Ling, “Oh, alright then.”

　　After a while, Xie Yuanxun said again, “Again.”

　　Sheng Ling whined, “No, no more, please.”

　　By the time he said it yet again, Sheng Ling just wanted to whimper. She had never understood what it meant for your body to feel like it had been run over by a carriage, but now she did. She wanted to tell Xie Yuanxun to go easy, but there was no chance to speak up. All she could think was that men starting this kind of thing were terrifying, sob sob.

　　Sheng Ling didn’t even know when she actually fell asleep that night, but she was sure she slept soundly, dreaming not a thing all night.

　　The next day, Sheng Ling naturally woke up late. Seeing Xie Yuanxun, she croaked, “What time is it?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “It’s Shen hour.”

　　Shen Ling said dizzily, “Oh, it’s Shen hour already… Shen hour?!” she squeaked. (3–5 PM)

　　“Yes, it’s Shen hour. Why are you so surprised?” Xie Yuanxun asked.

　　—Shen hour is already the afternoon. What am I surprised about? You made me so tired that I didn’t wake up until the next afternoon. I… I’m officially ruined.

　　Suddenly, Shen Ling remembered something. She tugged at Xie Yuanxun’s clothes and asked, “So… did you guys finish hunting?”

　　He shook his head. “Not yet. I postponed the hunting until you’re able to move around properly. I’ll give the order to start once you’re ready.”

　　Shen Ling fell silent, and after a long pause, she murmured, “Your Majesty, can you tell me what excuse you used to postpone the hunting?”    

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Excuse? I just had Feng Zhi tell them that I’m in your palace and too busy to join the hunt.”

　　Shen Ling silently raised her middle finger at him.

　　—Damn it!

　　—You’re basically telling them you were messing around with me! I see now, you bastard, you just wanted to make me headline news.

　　Shen Ling muttered, “Maybe they’re saying I’m a demon consort again.”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s fingers brushed her temple. “A demon consort with messy hair and eyes booger?”

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　Her face instantly turned bright red. She pushed him away and got out of bed to wash up. At this moment, she didn’t feel the lingering soreness or aches in her body at all. It just goes to show the body’s potential is limitless. Earlier she was struggling to get up, and now she was practically flying across the floor.    

　　Shen Ling roared, “Why are you following me!”

　　—I want you to get lost, you trash-mouthed jerk!

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I want to follow you.”

　　Shen Ling snapped, “I don’t want you to!”

　　He laughed heartily, and Shen Ling’s lips twitched as she tried not to curse him out again.

　　Liu Zhu came in with water to help, and as Shen Ling washed her face and brushed her teeth, the embarrassment from Xie Yuanxun pointing out the eye boogers in her eyes finally eased a bit. When she went to change clothes, Xie Yuanxun picked up her outfit and said, “Let me help you change.”

　　Shen Ling snorted, spreading her arms. She didn’t see anything wrong with him helping, “Go ahead.”

　　But Xie Yuanxun had never helped anyone get dressed before. After a few clumsy attempts, all the delicate straps and ties got tangled together, and Shen Ling couldn’t even lift her hands.

　　She scowled, “Liu Zhu, come untangle this mess.”    

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “No need. I can handle it myself.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—Handle what exactly? You’ve practically wrapped me up like a silkworm cocoon!

　　As expected, the more Xie Yuanxun fussed with her, the worse things became. Shen Ling stared at him with dead fish eyes.

　　—When you were taking my clothes off, you moved faster than the wind. Now that you’re putting them back on, you suddenly don’t know where the sleeves are.

　　—Hah. Men.

　　In the end, Shen Ling claimed her legs had gone numb, and only then did Xie Yuanxun call Liu Zhu over to help. But when it was time to comb her hair, he once again insisted on doing it himself. Through the bronze mirror, Shen Ling watched as he held a strand of her hair, his expression visibly turning bleak. Here he goes again.

　　In that moment, she was struck by the memory of the terror he had once inflicted while attempting to draw her brows, and the fresh trauma of him trying to dress her just now.

　　Sure enough, after a round of Xie Yuanxun’s enthusiastic meddling, the lock of hair he had picked up ended up twisted into a tangled mess, so knotted that even a comb could not pry it apart. 

　　Xie Yuanxun, “......”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　Shen Ling called out with practiced ease, “Liu Zhu.”

　　Liu Zhu, equally accustomed to cleaning up the aftermath, stepped forward without a word.

　　Once Shen Ling’s hair was finally neatly arranged, Xie Yuanxun commented, “It’s not that different from the one I did.”

　　Shen Ling rolled her eyes. “Sure. As long as you’re happy.”

　　—What you gave me was a chicken coop. What Liu Zhu styled is something fit for a fairy. The two of you are operating in completely different worlds.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I’ll comb it for you again tomorrow.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”        

　　—Did I just hear the beginning of a horror story?

　　—You’ve already ruined my hair once. Are you saying that wasn’t enough? My hair didn’t grow out just so you could experiment on it.

　　Xie Yuanxun rested his hand on her shoulder, his cool fingers brushing lightly across her neck. In a lazy tone, he asked, “What, you’re not willing?”

　　Shen Ling replied, “......Willing.”

　　—As if.

　　—I’ve clearly been forced into a confession.

　　Shen Ling said tactfully, “Your Majesty, would you like to practice on someone else’s hair instead?” It would be best if he could improve a little first, so she would not have to suffer through him tugging at her scalp again.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Practice what? I don’t need practice for things I already know how to do.”

　　Shen Ling swallowed her retort and instead sweet-talked him, “It’s not that you don’t know how to comb my hair. It’s just that you’re not very skilled yet. I think you still need a bit more practice. That way, you won’t end up tangling my hair into a knot again. Don’t you agree, Your Majesty?”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s expression darkened, his gaze sliding toward her. “The first time you combed it, it didn’t look any better than mine. Even if I need practice, I’ll practice on your head. As long as you behave and stop fidgeting, I’ll make it look good tomorrow.”

　　Shen Ling, “???”

　　—So if I behave, it’ll look good. And if I don’t, you’ll make it look bad on purpose?

　　—Why does that sound so familiar...

　　—Oh right, when you were drawing my brows last time, you said something similar. Wait, if your hands are clumsy, why does the victim have to be me?    

　　Over the past few days, Xie Yuanxun had developed an obsession with hugging and touching Shen Ling. If she had not firmly protested, he probably would have insisted that they eat, drink, and live entirely on the bed together. He was completely out of control, like an old house suddenly going up in flames. Shen Ling was so overwhelmed by him that her scalp tingled. She did not even have a spare moment to think about the matter of the killing. It could be said that by his efforts alone, Xie Yuanxun had occupied all of Shen Ling’s thoughts.

　　That afternoon during their nap, Shen Ling gently lifted the hand Xie Yuanxun had draped over her.

　　Xie Yuanxun opened his eyes. “Mm?”

　　Shen Ling forced herself to come up with an excuse. “I need to use the restroom.”

　　Only then did Xie Yuanxun let her go. Shen Ling walked out with light steps, but after a few paces, she turned to look at him following behind her. “Your Majesty?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied lazily, “I’ll go with you.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—I don’t want that!

　　Shen Ling sighed. “Your Majesty, can we spend a little time apart? We’ve been glued together all day. Don’t you find it suffocating?”   

　　“Bored?” The look in Xie Yuanxun’s eyes clearly conveyed, If you’re bored, we can just go back to bed.

　　“......” It was exactly because of the bed that she was feeling suffocated!

　　Shen Ling said resentfully, “I’m not bored.” Following her to the restroom too, was he in primary school or something?

　　A week later, the hunt finally began. During that time, Shen Ling saw Senior Eunuch Feng come to speak with Xie Yuanxun several times. She only overheard bits and pieces, but she did catch mentions of assassin lists and their locations. Every time Xie Yuanxun listened, he looked utterly uninterested, as though the person they were plotting to kill was not him.

　　Shen Ling asked, “Aren’t you going to arrest them all?”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng had done a meticulous job. Anyone showing even the slightest suspicious movement had been identified and marked, ready to be dealt with at any moment.

　　Xie Yuanxun idly played with Shen Ling’s fingers. “No need. They’ve prepared for so long. I’ll give them a chance to act.”

　　Shen Ling eyed him doubtfully. “You’re that kind?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “Don’t you think it’s interesting? Let them go from brimming with confidence that they can kill me, to dying in despair at my hands.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—No, I don’t find it interesting. But I can certainly feel your twisted sense of humor.

　　—The mantis stalks the cicada, unaware of the oriole behind. Impressive.

　　......

　　Inside a modest civilian house, two middle-aged men sat facing each other with grave expressions. The man on the left was thin, his brows tightly furrowed, while the man on the right had a heavier build.

　　The thin man spoke first. “Why hasn’t Li Yi shown up? The men he sent earlier were already killed by that tyrant. I told him not to act rashly. The guards around the hunting grounds have increased these past few days.”

　　The heavier man replied, “He’s utterly loyal to the late Emperor. It was the late Emperor who pulled him out of a pile of beggars and gave him a chance to live. He owes him a debt of gratitude. He just wants the tyrant dead too badly.”

　　The thin man scoffed. “Who doesn’t want to kill the tyrant? You think I don’t?”

　　He had not served the late Emperor, but Crown Prince Zhaoyuan. He did not know that Xie Yuanxun carried Crown Prince Zhaoyuan’s bloodline. All he knew was that the late Emperor had destroyed the Crown Prince Zhaoyuan. The late Emperor was already dead, so the only one left to take revenge on was the late Emperor’s “son,” Xie Yuanxun. A father’s debt must be repaid by the son.

　　He glanced at the heavier man. Unlike him, both the heavier man and Li Yi had once belonged to the late Emperor’s faction. The difference was that the heavier man had later become connected to the Duke Mu’s Manor, and his loyalty to the late Emperor was not as pure as Li Yi’s.

　　“The tyrant is about to begin the hunt,” the thin man continued. “During a hunt, accidents can happen at any time. Call Li Yi back first. We need to start preparing as well. Once the tyrant enters the hunting grounds, that will be our chance to strike.”

　　The heavier man nodded. “Fine. I’ll send someone to bring Li Yi over.”    

　　When Li Yi arrived, the thin man laid out the plan he had decided on.

　　“Li Yi, you’ve already lost a batch of men. There aren’t many left. Take whoever remains and lure the fierce birds from the eastern woods over. Try to draw out a large beast if you can. Drug them with something that will drive them into a frenzy and have them attack the officials’ procession. Create chaos.”

　　He then turned to the heavier man. “Wang Ren, your task is to keep that old fox Feng Zhi tied down with your men. No matter how many lives it costs. I don’t need to tell you how formidable he is. With him guarding the tyrant, killing him will be nearly impossible.”

　　“As for me,” he continued, “I’ll lead my men to strike at the tyrant directly. Success or failure will be decided today. After this, we won’t be able to muster this many people again.”

　　Li Yi and Wang Ren, the heavier man, had no objections.

　　Li Yi added, “Keep an eye on the consort by the tyrant’s side.”

　　The thin man frowned. “What about her?”

　　Li Yi said, “The tyrant cares deeply for her. Don’t tell me you haven’t noticed. If you fail to kill him, then kill her instead. Let him have a taste of heartbreak.”

　　“Achoo!”

　　Shen Ling sneezed.

　　She was seated atop a brown horse, riding side by side with Xie Yuanxun on his black steed. The hunt she had imagined involved only military generals entering the grounds. She had not expected that Xie Yuanxun would require all male officials to participate, whether they were military or civil. As for the officials’ wives, there was no such obligation. Those who wished to join could do so, and those who did not could remain outside and wait.

　　Xie Yuanxun lazily poked the horse beneath Shen Ling with his riding crop, one tap after another.

　　Shen Ling’s face darkened. She tugged her reins and steered her horse a little farther away, waving at him. “Shoo, shoo. Stop messing with my horse.”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s response was to ride closer and continue prodding her horse with the crop.

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　She looked at him expressionlessly. “You asked for this.”

　　The moment she finished speaking, she raised her hand and gave the horse he was riding a sharp smack on the rump.

　　—Hmph. After that slap, your horse is definitely going to panic and bolt. I’ll just sit back and watch you get bounced all over the place.

　　And yet, Xie Yuanxun’s horse did not panic.

　　It merely flicked its hoof once, its large dark eyes glancing at Shen Ling before coolly looking away again with unmistakable arrogance.

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—Why do I feel like I just got looked down on? No, not feel. I absolutely got looked down on!

　　—Like master, like horse. Neither of them are any good!

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Let’s head in as well.”

　　Shen Ling nodded. “Alright.”

　　She followed behind him, reaching out to pat the brown horse she was riding. After a moment of thought, she leaned down and whispered softly, “When he was poking you just now, why didn’t you react at all? You didn’t even flick a hoof. You’re way too easy to bully. If I were you, I would’ve kicked him straight to the ground.”

　　The brown horse snorted, “Hrrmph!” You won’t kick him, so you expect me, a horse, to do it? Are you even human?

　　After muttering her complaints, Shen Ling’s mood instantly improved. Being looked down on by the black horse no longer bothered her. She gave her reins a light shake and urged her horse forward to catch up. “Your Majesty, why did you stop?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “I was waiting for you.”

　　Shen Ling felt a little embarrassed. “Why are you waiting for me?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “The path through the forest is a bit rough. It’s dangerous for you to ride alone, so you can just ride with me on the same horse.”

　　The moment she heard that, Shen Ling sucked in a sharp breath. Her first thought was a loud, bold, flashing HORSE. SEX!

　　—Riding the same horse… that could very easily lead to some colorful situations. A lone man and woman in the deep forest… am I being too dirty-minded?

　　—Ugh, you pervert!

　　Xie Yuanxun raised a hand to his forehead, half-smirking at her. “Aren’t you going to get over here? Or do you want me to carry you?”

　　Horse. Sex. With so many people around, how can he do it like that? But her words did give him an idea. This was definitely an interesting new way to play around… maybe he’d try it sometime.

　　Shen Ling felt a chill run down her back. “......”

　　She obediently reached out, letting Xie Yuanxun bring her in front of him, so they could ride the same horse.

　　Along the way, Shen Ling could hear the baying of hunting dogs and cheers coming from different directions, along with the roars of wild beasts. Gradually, those sounds faded until they could no longer be heard. Nearby, the gentle babble of a stream kept a soothing rhythm.

　　Even with her on horseback, it didn't hinder Xie Yuanxun's hunt in the slightest. Every time he took aim, Shen Ling instinctively held her breath, only exhaling in a rush when he hit the target.

　　Xie Yuanxun lowered his gaze. “You’re not the one shooting. Why are you so tense?”

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　—Right, why am I even nervous?

　　—But it's none of your business. I'm nervous, and I like it!    

　　Shen Ling tried to change the subject. “Your Majesty, it’s a bit quiet around here. Don’t you think someone might be lying in wait?”

　　“Action!”

　　“Exposed!”

　　Strange voices rang out.

　　A few heartbeats later, about ten black-clad assassins appeared out of nowhere in the previously empty space ahead. Each one held a sword. More assassins emerged from the left and right, and some were perched in the trees with weapons glinting coldly.

　　Their gazes were icy, mechanical even, radiating a heavy, palpable sense of killing intent.

　　Shen Ling immediately felt a twinge of pain in her teeth. “......”

　　—Did I grow a damn crow’s mouth or what!

　　—I said someone was lying in wait, and there really are people lying in wait. Could this get any more ridiculous!

　　Xie Yuanxun rested his chin on the top of Shen Ling’s head and laughed. “Hahaha.”

　　He said, “Come on, say it again. Let me hear a few more lines.”    

　　Shen Ling, “......” No, no way.

　　Xie Yuanxun, “Go ahead, I’m listening. If you’re worried about being overheard, you can whisper. Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone.”

　　Shen Ling stayed expressionless.

　　—Enough! Shut up! I can’t handle your enthusiasm. If you make me talk any more, I swear I’ll make you drop dead! Drop dead, got that!

　　While they were talking, the assassins had already started closing in, step by step. Shen Ling didn’t have time to joke around with Xie Yuanxun. She grabbed his arm. “Your Majesty, they’re surrounding us. You can call someone to deal with them now.”

　　Xie Yuanxun frowned. “Call someone? What do you mean?”

　　Shen Ling glared at him. “Of course I mean call Senior Eunuch Feng!”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You mean him? I sent him back to get a cloak.”

　　“What? What? What did you just say? You sent him back to get a cloak?! When did you even tell him to do that? I didn’t hear a word!” She was starting to freak out.        

　　Xie Yuanxun, “Just now.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—Aaaahhh! I’m gonna explode!

　　—Knowing that someone was plotting to kill you during today’s hunt, how could you send Senior Eunuch Feng—the ultimate weapon, the nuclear-level threat—away like that!

　　—You probably just want to drag me straight to hell with you. Not asking to be born on the same year, month, and day, just die on the same year, month, and day, right?!

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “They’re just ²grasshoppers after autumn. Don’t worry, they won’t last more than a few jumps.”

　　Shen Ling’s expression went dreamy. “......But what if those few jumps are enough to kill us?”

　　Pfft, Xie Yuanxun laughed. “No way, I’m here.”

　　—Ancestor, you damn bastard, shut up!    

　　Shen Ling looked around. The guards who had come with them were already fighting the assassins. She watched for a moment and finally let out a sigh of relief.

　　—Phew, thank goodness. The guard brothers are really holding their own. They’ve got the upper hand.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s expression darkened. Guard… brothers?

　　Who was she calling “brother”? His face wasn’t looking very pleasant, and he gave the horse’s belly a little squeeze. The black horse started moving forward.

　　Shen Ling, “Your Majesty, your horse is moving!”

　　Xie Yuanxun, “Mm.”

　　Shen Ling, “Why are you so calm? It’s moving! Can’t you see? It’s heading straight forward.”

　　—Straight forward to where? That’s the battlefield where the guards and assassins are clashing. What is it trying to do? Don’t tell me it wants to go fight—taking us with it is just giving aid to the enemy!

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I told it to go. If I wasn’t calm, you think I’d be surprised?”        

　　Shen Ling, “……” Her head creaked like an old machine running out of oil as she slowly turned to look at Xie Yuanxun. “You… told it to go forward?”

　　Xie Yuanxun nodded. “You heard me right. That’s me.”

　　Shen Ling burst into tears. “Ahhh, I’m jumping off the horse…”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s hand smacked over her face, pressing back the tears before they could fall. “Jump off the horse? What are you talking about? Aren’t you afraid you’ll land wrong and end up crippled?”

　　Shen Ling, “Being crippled is better than having my neck chopped. One extra cut on my neck is worse.”

　　Xie Yuanxun gave her the ‘look at this fool’ glare. “Who said anyone’s going to chop your neck?”

　　Shen Ling, “You.”

　　Xie Yuanxun pulled an arrow from the quiver on his black horse. “Whoever tries to touch your neck, I’ll cut their neck instead.”    

　　—Ah???

　　—Is this… a love line? A little bloody, maybe? Oh well, bloody it is, since it’s coming from you.

　　Xie Yuanxun handed the quiver to Shen Ling. “Hold it tight.” She hugged it close.

　　He drew the bow, and in an instant released. The arrow shot forward with lethal force, slicing through the air, hitting the forehead of a lone assassin up ahead. Shen Ling quickly pulled another arrow and passed it to him. Xie Yuanxun fired again, she passed, he fired… their movements flowed seamlessly, like they’d been doing this together forever, even though it was their first time coordinating like this.

　　At that moment, a lean man broke through the guards’ line. He was clearly the ringleader of these assassins, charging forward with two others at his side.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Give me three arrows.” Shen Ling immediately handed them over.

　　Three arrows flew at once, whistling through the air. Shen Ling’s eyes widened. Though they should have flown parallel, their paths seemed to shift midair. Two struck the two men flanking the lean ringleader. He raised a bloodied arrow to block, but it never came. Sword lifted, he charged at Xie Yuanxun—but just as he lunged, the delayed arrow shot straight into the center of his brow.

　　But this skinny guy’s life force was stubborn. Even after an arrow pierced his forehead, he kept charging, pushing every last bit of strength to reach Xie Yuanxun. Then, with a swift backhand motion, Xie Yuanxun swung his sword. The blade gleamed with a sharp, deadly light as it cleaved the man’s head clean off.

　　The head flew into the air and landed with a thud. In that instant before darkness claimed him, the skinny man thought, I’ve failed… I hope Li Yi and Wang Ren succeed…

　　His body kept moving forward out of sheer momentum until, finally, awareness left him entirely, and he collapsed with a heavy crash.

　　Shen Ling let out a quiet “whoa.” Xie Yuanxun wasn’t just a master with arrows like some kind of mage—he could wield a sword like a berserker. His combat skills were insane, way more thrilling than watching any movie, especially since she was right there in the middle of it all.

　　Her blood was pumping, and for a moment, she felt like letting loose with her own hidden sleeve arrow.

　　But in the end, she held back. If she went full-on berserk, she’d have to actually kill someone herself, and that was a line she didn’t want to cross. Shen Ling preferred to keep some reverence for life, at least until it was absolutely necessary.

　　After the skinny guy, their leader, fell, the rest of the group didn’t put up much of a fight and were wiped out in no time. Watching the guards on their side tidy up the battlefield—finishing off stragglers and collecting bodies—Shen Ling immediately sensed something was off.

　　She leaned close to Xie Yuanxun’s ear and whispered, “Your Majesty, some of these guards… they’re Shadow Guards, right?” She remembered him mentioning that he had Shadow Guards by his side.

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “You noticed?”

　　Shen Ling’s eyes lit up. She’d guessed correctly. “A few of the guards are way stronger than the rest. And with Senior Eunuch Feng gone, he would’ve left someone capable behind. That’s when I thought of the Shadow Guards.”

　　Xie Yuanxun wiped the blood off the back of her hand. What had been just a single drop spread into a patch under his swipe. He frowned slightly, “….”

　　Shen Ling twitched her nose. “What’s that smell?” Looking down, she noticed her hand, which Xie Yuanxun had been holding, now smeared with uneven patches of blood.

　　Shen Ling went completely silent, “….”

　　She felt like she was about to lose it completely. She let out a sharp yelp and sprinted toward the river to wash her hands.

　　Of course, she didn’t forget to drag Xie Yuanxun along with her.

　　Squatting by the river, Shen Ling said, “Hurry up and wash too. You’ve got blood on your fingers.”

　　Xie Yuanxun stood there without moving. “You wash me,” he said, sounding completely self-righteous.

　　Shen Ling looked up, so tempted to go “ugh” right in his face. But remembering his heroic performance today, she held back, washed her own little hands, then took out a handkerchief from her clothes. She wet it in the river, stood up, and said, “Hold out your hand. I’ll wipe it for you.”

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced at her expression. “Make sure you clean it properly,” he added.

　　Shen Ling chuckled softly.

　　—Fine, I’m already wiping your hands for free, and now you’re giving me instructions? Keep talking and I’ll stuff this handkerchief in your mouth. You’re way too chatty.    

　　Shen Ling finished wiping Xie Yuanxun’s hands once, then rinsed the handkerchief in the river and wiped them again.

　　It was at that moment that Senior Eunuch Feng returned. He didn’t just bring the cloak Xie Yuanxun had requested—he also brought back two heads.

　　Senior Eunuch Feng greeted Xie Yuanxun warmly. “Your Majesty, the masterminds behind the other two assassins have already been captured by me. Along with the one mastermind who died on your side, all three have been executed. Their followers were split into three groups. One group led the officials into the poisoned, maddened beasts, which have now been dealt with, though unfortunately, some officials and their families perished along with them. Another group came after me, and the last group ended up dead at Your Majesty’s side.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. She remembered that Madam Jiang and Shen Xi had gone into the forest with the Shen Kangzheng and Shen Jinxiu father-and-son pair. Were they among the officials’ families who died?

　　She asked Senior Eunuch Feng, and he replied, “Minister Shen and Madam Shen were lucky. They hid in an abandoned animal’s nest and survived. But Young Master Shen and Second Miss Shen accidentally got separated from them. I’ve already sent people to search for those who got scattered.”

　　“If luck is on their side, when we find them, they might still be alive.”        

　　Shen Ling cleared her throat, her face soft with sorrow and regret. “If luck hadn’t been on their side, they wouldn’t have just been separated—they’d be gone from us forever.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng smiled warmly. “Your Grace is right.”

　　Shen Ling happily shook the handkerchief and said to Xie Yuanxun, “I’ll go rinse it again, then come back to wipe your hands.”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “My hands are already clean.”

　　Shen Ling pouted slightly. “Wash a little more, then. The water’s right here, and I’m happy to wipe your hands anyway.”

　　Xie Yuanxun stared at her. “I don’t think you’re happy to wipe my hands. You’re happy someone went missing.”

　　Shen Ling made a little chirping sound. “Ohhh, Your Majesty, just knowing you figured it out is enough. Why do you have to say it out loud, though? Even if you’re right, hehe.”

　　Xie Yuanxun clicked his tongue. She didn’t even bother pretending anymore. Before, when she didn’t want to see Madam Jiang, she’d have to put on a fake act in front of him.    

　　Shen Ling was bouncing along, rinsing the handkerchief—not in the spot she had been before, but somewhere else—and suddenly the soil by the riverbank gave way under her foot.

　　Her body wobbled. “Ah!”

　　Xie Yuanxun immediately spun around. His eyes went sharp as he saw Shen Ling pitching toward the river. His body blurred with speed as he reached her, grabbing her arm, and together they toppled toward the water.

　　Just as they were about to hit the river, Senior Eunuch Feng reached out. “Your Majesty, pardon me, I’ll help you and Her Grace up—”

　　But the instant Senior Eunuch Feng’s hand was about to touch him, Xie Yuanxun tilted sideways, dodging it entirely.

　　Senior Eunuch Feng froze.

　　He reflexively reached again, and Xie Yuanxun slipped past once more.    

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced back at Senior Eunuch Feng with a look that clearly said, “Take your hand away” and “No need to rescue us.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng froze. “......”

　　And just like that, Xie Yuanxun and Shen Ling plunged into the river. In the blink of an eye, the current swept them several steps downstream.

　　Senior Eunuch Feng’s face went pale. Your Majesty, why are you dodging? And—your Majesty, you can’t swim!

　　The Shadow Guard’s subordinates were equally shocked. “S-Senior Eunuch Feng, M-Master, we need to save His Majesty quickly!”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng gave them a look. “Didn’t you see His Majesty doesn’t want us to?” His lips twitched as he added, “We’ll follow along quietly. If His Majesty runs into real danger, then we step in.”

　　“Understood,” the subordinates replied.

    

________________

Glossary:

¹Madam Jiang or Madam Shen?

In Chinese tradition, women usually keep their maiden name after marriage, so Madam Jiang is technically correct. Using Madam Shen is also fine, especially in context, since she is being referred to as the lady of the Shen household.

It can feel a little jarring because it switches perspective: one highlights her personal identity (Jiang), while the other emphasizes her social or family role (Shen). In translations, I just pick whichever flows better at the moment.

²“grasshoppers after autumn,” is a literal translation of a Chinese idiom:

秋后的蚂蚱 (qiū hòu de màzha)

It basically means:

After autumn comes, grasshoppers don’t have long to live. They might hop around for a bit, but winter is coming and they’re doomed anyway.

So figuratively, it means:

☘️ They’re on their last legs.

☘️ They can struggle a little, but they won’t last long.

☘️ Their end is inevitable.

In this context, Xie Yuanxun is saying the assassins are basically finished. They might make a little noise, but they’re already dead men walking.

…..

T/N: OMG yes, second arc finally!! 😆 ML and FL are off sightseeing/undercover all alone—no palace servants. Ignore the tailing shadow guards, they’re basically invisible, LoL. This part is lowkey adorable and funny, just the two of them~ My brain is screaming: secret honeymoon vibes!! 😂💖

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