The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 32: Tears Are Way Too Useful

　　Shen Ling fired off a string of questions. “One hundred thousand taels? How did you make that much?! No, wait, the real question is, why did you make that much?”

　　—I didn’t even earn that much myself, hello? That was the important point!

　　Xie Yuanxun then explained how Vice Minister Tang had been impeached by a censor in Court, and how he had taken the opportunity to give him a little “reminder.” After hearing it all, Shen Ling looked at Xie Yuanxun, admiration quietly blooming in her eyes.

　　—So I wasn’t the first one to get smacked with a stick and then handed a sweet date. Compared to Vice Minister Tang, I’m way happier. At least I wasn’t extorted for silver. And Vice Minister Tang didn’t even get a sweet date, he just got beaten with the big stick. See? Happiness really is all about comparison.

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Will you still need to use him again? Is there anything else about his household that you want to write?”

　　Shen Ling frowned. “What are you planning?” He usually never interfered with her work.

　　Xie Yuanxun said calmly, “Answer me first. Will you?”

　　Shen Ling hesitated. “Probably… not?”

　　She had already used Vice Minister Tang’s scandals once in the newspaper. Continuing to dig into his affairs felt a bit much. Even plucking wool had its limits. You couldn’t keep shaving the same sheep forever, or it would go bald.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “He gave one hundred thousand taels this time. If he gets impeached again next time…” He paused, then added meaningfully, “He’ll donate silver to the Court. It won’t go into the national treasury. I’ll let you have a share.”

　　Shen Ling clapped her hands, clearly delighted.

　　—Iconic. Truly iconic. You are the icon among icons!

　　Shen Ling said, “Half, then. Don’t forget, I’m the one who put his dirty laundry in the newspaper. Without me, the censors wouldn’t even have moved.”

　　At this moment, Shen Ling had completely forgotten about things like not plucking wool from the same sheep over and over. What was wrong with plucking a little more? Vice Minister Tang had plenty of wool to spare. If he had been a kinder person and a cleaner official, he would never have been targeted by her and Xie Yuanxun in the first place.

　　Xie Yuanxun laughed softly. “Alright. Half for you.”

　　Shen Ling nodded decisively. “Then it’s settled. The star of the next newspaper issue will still be him.”

　　Xie Yuanxun looked at her. “Aren’t you afraid he’ll end up with his family ruined?”

　　Shen Ling looked at him strangely. “Why would I be afraid? He brought it on himself. Sooner or later, debts like that have to be paid back. Think about it. If we drag him out as a ‘model example,’ the other officials at Court will take it as a warning and remind themselves not to lose their conscience.” She smacked her lips lightly. “Anyway, I’m not scared.”

　　If she were to be scared of anyone, it should be Xie Yuanxun, not someone like Vice Minister Tang.

　　Shen Ling resumed her meal at an unhurried pace. Even though she had accidentally choked once earlier, she kept eating. Later, the spiciness became unbearable. The chili peppers had serious afterburn. She had Liu Zhu bring over some fresh milk. Every time it got too spicy, she took a sip. She cradled the cup as she drank, leaving a pale ring of milk around her lips.

　　Xie Yuanxun didn’t continue eating. He had taken out a book from somewhere and was reading it instead. Shen Ling glanced over. The book was very thin.

　　Shen Ling asked, “Your Majesty, what are you reading so intently?”

　　—I’m not trying to be nosy, but you don’t even read memorials this seriously.

　　Xie Yuanxun lifted his eyes, leaned forward, and reached out to wipe the circle of milk from the corner of her mouth. He cleaned his hand with a handkerchief and said, “You’ll find out.”

　　A very visible question mark popped up over Shen Ling’s head.

　　—Find out what? Does this have something to do with me? Why does that sound kind of ominous?

　　Shen Ling asked, “Can I take a look?”

　　Xie Yuanxun asked back, “You want to?”

　　Shen Ling shook her head rapidly. Her instincts told her it was better not to.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “What a pity.”

　　Shen Ling: “???”

　　What was there to regret?

　　—Did the sun rise from the west today? You of all people saying something like “what a pity”? Being down to earth is not done like this, okay. And also, if you’re going to say “what a pity,” at least finish the sentence. Leaving things half said like this is the same vibe as taking off your pants and then freezing in place. It’s seriously asking to be hit.

　　That night, when it was time to sleep, Xie Yuanxun went to wash up and change. Shen Ling lay on the bed, wrapped in her brocade quilt, rolling around. She rolled inward, then rolled back out, then rolled again. Xie Yuanxun stood by the bed, expressionless, watching her put on this whole performance.

　　After rolling to her heart’s content, Shen Ling finally looked up and met Xie Yuanxun’s gaze. He had clearly been watching her for quite a while.

　　“……”

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Done rolling?”

　　Shen Ling nodded solemnly. “Done.” She scooted inward and patted the bed. “You finished washing so fast. Come, get on the bed.”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “Mm.” He stepped forward.

　　Just as Shen Ling was about to pull her hand back, her fingers brushed against something hard. She lowered her head and immediately recognized it. It was the booklet Xie Yuanxun had been reading earlier.

　　Her fingers itched. She really wanted to pick it up and take a look. There was nothing she could do. She was exactly the type who never learned her lesson. Even though her instincts were screaming at her to stay far away, she still wanted to see it. After all, it had been tucked under Xie Yuanxun’s pillow! It was like a cat toy, dangling right in front of her, tempting her nonstop. Not looking made her unbearably itchy inside. Forget it. Instincts could go on the blacklist for now.

　　Shen Ling opened it.

　　Then her face froze, and she said blankly, “Ah? Oh. Ah!”

　　The first “ah” was shock and surprise. She had not expected that Xie Yuanxun wasn’t reading a book at all, but a ¹spring palace illustration.

　　Terrifying.

　　The “oh” was realization. So this was what a spring palace illustration looked like. It was actually drawn pretty well. As long as your eyes worked, you could understand it.

　　The last “ah” was sheer disbelief that Xie Yuanxun would actually look at something like this.

　　—I really shouldn’t have blacklisted my instincts!

　　Shen Ling released it and hurriedly shoved the booklet back under the pillow. Stiffly, she said to Xie Yuanxun, “Your Majesty, y-you you… do you want to go back to the Taiji Hall to sleep?”

　　—Oh my god, what kind of nonsense am I even saying?

　　Shen Ling raised her hand to cover her face. She really wanted to beat herself up. So what if Xie Yuanxun was looking at a spring palace illustration? What was the problem? Instead, she was the one making such a big fuss. Was she afraid Xie Yuanxun might not think of her enough or something?!    

　　If Xie Yuanxun really went for a hands on demonstration, it would all be her own doing.

　　Xie Yuanxun laughed. His presence pressed closer, carrying an undeniable sense of pressure. Shen Ling saw the smile at the corner of his lips. Some people looked beautiful even when they sneered coldly, and Xie Yuanxun was exactly that type. Now that he wore such a gentle smile, the visual impact shot straight up to two hundred percent.

　　Before Shen Ling could fully process it, she was pushed onto the bed. She felt Xie Yuanxun’s lips fall on her. Ah, he kissed her forehead. Ah, her nose bridge. Ah, her cheek. Ah, her lips. Ah, her neck. Ah, below her neck…

　　In the middle of it all, Shen Ling still found the mental space to think that the parallel sentences she was mentally counting were ridiculously simple and catchy.

　　She could also feel Xie Yuanxun’s hand sliding up along her leg, roaming slowly. She sucked in a sharp breath and tilted her head. With eyes tinged red, she caught sight of the spring palace illustration peeking out from under the pillow that Xie Yuanxun had accidentally pushed aside. At that moment, she finally understood. That thing was basically Xie Yuanxun’s secret martial arts manual! Once he had been “taught,” the man who once knew nothing about these matters suddenly felt like he had been fueled by rocket boosters. His skill level soared so high that Shen Ling could only flop there like a salted fish, panting nonstop.

　　Xie Yuanxun brushed aside the damp hair on her forehead with his fingers. “You’re sweating so much. Are you made of water?”

　　Shen Ling had originally wanted to kick him, but her legs went weak and it turned into her hooking his leg instead. Her toes circled around the hollow of his knee. Her lips trembled. She knew full well he was about to finish the last move, yet he chose this exact moment to stop and talk to her, leaving her completely stuck in between. Damn it!

　　Shen Ling shouted in what she thought was a loud voice, but actually came out very soft. “If I’m water, then what are you, mud?” Mixed together, wouldn’t that make cement? Ugh. So obscene.

　　“Are you doing it or not?!”

　　—If you’re going to do it, hurry up!

　　Xie Yuanxun bit her neck lightly. “You’re in a hurry?”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—You bastard!

　　—You got me all worked up and this is how you treat me?!

　　Xie Yuanxun chuckled softly a few times. Shen Ling, mortified and furious, reached down to his waist. Her fingers happened to land on a sensitive spot. She pinched it hard.

　　—Let’s see you tease me now! Tease me again!

　　Xie Yuanxun’s nose brushed against Shen Ling’s. Just as he was about to enter, Shen Ling’s stomach suddenly growled.

　　“Grrrrrrl.”

　　“Grrrrrrl...”

　　“Grrrrrrl grrrrrrl grrrrrrl grrrrrrl…”

　　Both Xie Yuanxun and Shen Ling froze.

　　Xie Yuanxun sat up, his well-defined chest on full display. Not pale and flimsy, but carrying a quiet sense of strength. He looked at her calmly and opened his mouth. “You……”

　　“Grrrrrrl—”

　　He had barely said one word when Shen Ling’s stomach impatiently chimed in, enthusiastically providing background music.

　　Xie Yuanxun burst out laughing. “Hahahahaha.”

　　Shen Ling lay flat on the bed, utterly done with life. She silently dragged the brocade quilt over herself, her face dark as charcoal. If there were a furnace nearby, she would absolutely jump into it right now and calmly burn herself to light the way for others. Could anyone imagine something like this happening at the most critical, intimate moment? It was like a couple on a date, the girl carefully done up, makeup flawless. While eating, the guy leans in to kiss her and compliments, “Your eyelashes are so long.” And then her false eyelashes fall off and land right in his mouth. Truly the kind of moment that makes you want to dig a hole and bury yourself alive.

　　—This is too embarrassing!

　　—I want to die, I want to die, I want to die, I want to die!

　　Xie Yuanxun was still laughing away. Shen Ling looked at him, then suddenly burst into tears. Real tears, not that fake wailing without tears. She cried so hard she looked pitiful beyond words.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Why are you crying?” He hurriedly reached out to wipe her tears.

　　“Waaahhh…… hic!” Shen Ling let out a sobby hiccup, stopped crying for a second, then started again. “Waaahhh…… why do you think I’m crying? Who told you to laugh? What are you laughing at, waaahhh!”

　　Xie Yuanxun pulled her into his arms and, rare as it was, comforted her. “I won’t laugh anymore. You stop crying too, alright? You look like such a little pitiful thing.”

　　Shen Ling sniffled. “Y-you’re the pitiful one.”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s arm circled her, his hand resting on her stomach. He gave it a light pat, his voice sounding by her ear. “Why isn’t it making noise anymore? Wasn’t it really loud just now?” Like a loudspeaker that had gained sentience.

　　Shen Ling cried even harder. “Waaahhhhhh!”

　　The moment she cried, he laughed. “Hahahahaha.”

　　His laughter nearly drowned out her crying. One could only imagine how unrestrained he was laughing.

　　Shen Ling was so angry she stopped crying altogether. Cry for what? Cry so he could enjoy it more?

　　—Bastard!

　　—Bastard bastard bastard bastard!

　　—I really shouldn’t have let my stomach growl. I should’ve farted loudly at you instead! Stink you to death, you dog!

　　Xie Yuanxun let out another snort of laughter.

　　Shen Ling, “……”

　　—Aaaahhhhhhh!

　　—I’m fighting you to the death! I’ll beat you up!

　　She slammed her head backward, flailing like a moth, knocking Xie Yuanxun over. She straddled him, furious, grabbed the quilt with one hand and pressed it over his face. When her anger finally subsided, she noticed that Xie Yuanxun under the quilt was completely motionless.

　　Shen Ling frowned. “Get up.”

　　—Could it be……

　　—No no no no. He wouldn’t die that easily. Don’t think nonsense. Nonsense thinking leads nowhere.

　　She pushed Xie Yuanxun. No response.

　　Panicking, Shen Ling yanked the quilt away. Then she saw Xie Yuanxun with his eyes closed, face peaceful……

　　—Huh? Peaceful? No no…… that can’t be right!

　　She scrambled off him and knelt by his side, trembling as she reached a hand under his nose. “Gasp! N-no breath?!!”

　　Shen Ling completely fell apart. Her hands and feet turned ice-cold, cold as frozen lumps.    

　　—He really has no breath? I don’t believe it, but there really is no air at his nose! W-what do I do, I think I think I killed someone.

　　—Wuwuwuwu……

　　Shen Ling panicked. “Wu—”

　　—No, that’s not right! How could he die so easily? He must be tricking me. Fine, let me trick him.

　　Shen Ling stared at his face and said, “Your Majesty, are you really dead? If you’re dead, I’m leaving, okay?”

　　Xie Yuanxun did not move.

　　Shen Ling said, “Oh? So you really are dead. I’ve finally shaken you off, hahaha! I’ll forge your last imperial edict right now, fake the decree, seize your throne, and become the Empress myself. The first thing I’ll do is hold a grand selection and bring all the good-looking people in Da Liang into the Palace. I’ll summon one beauty a day, year after year, never resting.”

　　Xie Yuanxun still did not move.

　　Now Shen Ling was truly panicking. She had already said she wanted to be an Empress and sleep with other men, and Xie Yuanxun still hadn’t opened his eyes. H-he he he really died?

　　—Ah, what do I do? If he’s dead, I can’t live either. Even if this is accidental manslaughter, I’ll definitely be executed! There’s nowhere to run.

　　—Damn it, I don’t want to die yet! No, I have to try to save him.

　　—But how do I save him? This is too hard!

　　Pretending to be calm, Shen Ling pulled the brocade quilt back over Xie Yuanxun.

　　—No one will discover his condition tonight. Maybe I should sneak out of the Palace under cover of darkness.

　　—Yes, that’s right, leave the Palace. I might still have a chance to survive. I need to pack my things. Oh, and change into lighter clothes so I can run faster. I should also bring some loose silver, otherwise I won’t even be able to eat if I get hungry.

　　Xie Yuanxun thought to himself, with her speed, if something really had happened to him, how could she possibly escape? By the time dawn came, she probably still wouldn’t have reached the Palace gates.

　　Xie Yuanxun opened his eyes.

　　Shen Ling’s eyes went wide. “Y-Your Majesty, you’re fine?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “What do you think could be wrong with me?”

　　Shen Ling laughed awkwardly. “Haha, no, nothing at all.”

　　Xie Yuanxun had no intention of letting her off. “You said I had no breath? Said you finally got rid of me? Wanted to forge my last edict, become Empress, and open a harem?”

　　With every word he said, Shen Ling’s head dropped a little lower.

　　Lacking confidence, Shen Ling said, “Your Majesty, you heard wrong. I was just joking with you.”

　　—Ahhh, you heard everything! I knew it, I said it already, you were pretending, ptooey! You're setting me up!

　　Xie Yuanxun looked at her with a meaningful gaze. “I heard it very clearly. That is exactly what you said.”

　　“One man a day, hm.”

　　Shen Ling felt guilty and shrank her neck. “No, no, Your Majesty, don’t wrong me.”

　　—Anyway, I’m not admitting it. Even if you beat me to death, I won’t admit it!   

　　 Shen Ling clutched her stomach and wailed, “Ahhh, my stomach hurts, it hurts so much, gurgle gurgle—it’s starting again! I must’ve eaten something bad. Your Majesty, help me!”

　　She grabbed at his sleeve, tugging desperately.

　　Xie Yuanxun snorted coldly. “Not helping. Suffer through it. After all, you’re just a little ungrateful brat.”

　　Thinking quickly, Shen Ling covered her face and started sobbing, pretending to cry.

　　Xie Yuanxun frowned, rubbed his forehead, and lightly tapped her on the head. “Someone, go fetch the Imperial Physician.”

　　He rubbed her stomach. “Does it really hurt?”

　　Shen Ling shot back, “If it didn’t hurt, would I be asking for the physician?”

　　—I’m not really hurting, but I can pretend really well. Otherwise, what if you drag me into saying those things I just said that could get me beheaded?

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “If it’s not painful, the physician will see through you. If it really hurts, then calling the physician is the right thing to do.”

　　“Don’t lie to me, or… I’ll punish you for your crimes, stack them all up, and see how many you’ve committed tonight.”

　　She moaned and groaned, ignoring him completely.

　　—Not listening, not listening, nonsense.

　　The Imperial Physician arrived, took her pulse, and said, “Your Majesty, Her Grace is fine…”

　　Shen Ling wailed louder, “It hurts so much, my stomach hurts, I feel awful!” She tried giving the physician pleading looks, but he kept his head down and didn’t notice her signals.

　　—Be smart! Don’t just say I’m fine, get me some symptoms already!

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “She’s fine.”

　　Shen Ling was speechless.

　　—Heaven is out to get me!

　　But before the thought could sink in, the physician continued, saving her.

　　He said, “Her Grace ate something heavily spiced earlier. It caused her qi and blood to rise. I will prescribe some gentle restorative herbs, and after drinking them, she won’t feel uncomfortable anymore.”

　　Shen Ling’s eyes lit up. “Great! Does it have ²Huanglian?”

　　The physician replied, “No.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Huanglian clears heat, dries dampness, and calms excessive heart fire. You’d better eat more of it. Physician, hear me? Add more Huanglian to her prescription.”

　　The physician bowed. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

　　Shen Ling went silent.

　　—Get lost!

　　After all that fuss, Shen Ling was finally sleepy. She rubbed her eyes and lay down to rest. Just as she was about to drift off, Xie Yuanxun said, “I haven’t slept yet.”

　　Shen Ling just… stayed quiet.   

　　—You don’t want to sleep, fine, I’m going to sleep!

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I’m sleeping first.”

　　—Are you a child or what?! Fighting over who sleeps first? Really fun, huh!

　　Shen Ling said, “Your Majesty, just close your eyes, and you can sleep.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I don’t want to close them.”

　　—You better shut those dog eyes of yours!

　　—If you don’t close them, fine, just keep them open while you sleep!

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Then you come and coax me to sleep.”

　　Shen Ling paused.

　　—Confirmed, you are definitely a troublemaking fool!

　　Her sleepiness gone completely, Shen Ling let out a soft, cold laugh in the dark. Her voice, though gentle, carried a playful edge. “Fine, Your Majesty, I’ll tell you a story.”

　　—You started this! You kept me awake first, now you want me to play along!

　　Shen Ling said, “Once upon a time…”

　　Xie Yuanxun interrupted, “How long ago is ‘once upon a time’?”

　　Shen Ling said, “It’s a really, really long time ago. Stop! Just say a hundred years ago, okay?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Mm, tell it properly.”

　　—Are you blind? Really blind. How could you not notice me being this serious?

　　Shen Ling continued, “Over a hundred years ago, there was a merchant family. The merchant had a daughter named Cinderella. The father doted on her, and to care for her, he married a woman named Black Widow. Black Widow also brought along two stepdaughters, Snow White and Little Red Riding Hood.”

　　“Cinderella grew older, and the merchant asked Black Widow to find a match for her. They chose a man named Wang Zi, also a wealthy merchant. He had so much money that he would sip water and spit some out just for fun, and he would buy clothes and throw them away after wearing them once. When Wang Zi first met Cinderella, he immediately liked her. She was pure, kind, and unpretentious. So Wang Zi bought her a pair of embroidered shoes.”

　　“Cinderella brought the shoes home, but her stepmother, Black Widow, wanted them. She grabbed the shoes and wore them. From that day on, Black Widow disappeared. Rumor has it that she had mastered deep martial arts and went off to wander the martial world. These were no ordinary shoes—they contained powerful energy, and whoever wore them could become a martial arts master!”

　　“Black Widow’s two daughters, Snow White and Little Red Riding Hood, couldn’t bring themselves to blame Cinderella, but Cinderella felt guilty and thought it was all her fault. She had no time to go find Wang Zi.”

　　“So Wang Zi came to visit Cinderella. Snow White saw him and immediately fell for him. She wanted to marry him too, but Wang Zi was conflicted. Both Cinderella and Snow White were good girls, and he could only marry one. He was in pain over the choice, so he married Little Red Riding Hood instead.”

　　“Little Red Riding Hood was thrilled. On her wedding night, she wore her red wedding dress and killed Wang Zi. Then she set a fire and died herself, turning into a vengeful spirit. She roamed around causing trouble, looking for Cinderella and Snow White every day, asking where her husband Wang Zi was. Cinderella and Snow White died young, and the merchant, devastated by the family’s collapse, died soon after.” (T/N: Wth is this story about?😂👊)

　　Shen Ling looked up, her voice sweetly teasing. “Your Majesty, isn’t my story good? It’s got drama, twists, dark comedy, murder, and horror.”    

　　“......”

　　Shen Ling whispered, “Your Majesty, did you fall asleep?”

　　“......”

　　She perked up her ears to listen to his breathing. Sure enough, he was asleep. But she really wanted to know at what part of her story Xie Yuanxun had actually dozed off.

　　......

　　The next day.

　　“Gasp!!!” Shen Ling snapped her eyes open.

　　Xie Yuanxun let go of the hand pinching her nose. “You’re awake.”

　　Shen Ling glanced outside. The sun had not even risen yet. With a dark expression, she asked, “Your Majesty, do you know I was still sleeping just now?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Then you don’t need to sleep anymore. I’ve already woken you up.”

　　Shen Ling let out two dry laughs.

　　—Was I woken up by you calling me? I woke up because you pinched my nose and I couldn’t breathe!

　　—You’re not human. Dragging me awake this early.

　　She put on a fake smile. “Your Majesty, may I ask why you called me up?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “It’s time for you to practice calligraphy.”

　　Shen Ling’s expression froze.

　　—Practicing big characters is fine, sure, but the problem is I was sleeping. You woke me up for this. I’m about to explode.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Why aren’t you moving yet?”

　　Shen Ling said, “...... Yes, I’m going.” She got out of bed cursing silently in her heart and went to wash up.

　　Once Liu Zhu had prepared the paper and brush, she withdrew. Shen Ling held the brush and copied from the calligraphy model, finishing a full page. She stole a glance toward Xie Yuanxun and realized his eyes were closed, like he was asleep.

　　Her resentment instantly shot through the roof.

　　—Who exactly is the heartless one here? I have never dragged you out of bed this early. You wake me up, then turn around and sleep so soundly yourself. You really don’t do human things!

　　Xie Yuanxun suddenly opened his eyes and looked over. “Write properly.”

　　Shen Ling said, “...... Okay.”

　　She remembered something and asked, “Your Majesty, last night when I was telling you that story, when did you fall asleep?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “When you said Cinderella got a stepmother and two stepsisters, I fell asleep.”

　　Shen Ling twitched at the corner of her mouth.

　　—So you basically fell asleep right at the beginning?! You only heard the opening and knocked out. Was my story really that good at putting people to sleep?

　　—And if you were already asleep, couldn’t you have told me? I wasted so much saliva for nothing.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Tonight you can tell me the story again.”

　　Shen Ling just stared. “......” She was definitely being treated like some kind of human lullaby.

　　Shen Ling took a deep breath, focused, and started writing seriously. After finishing ten pages of large characters, she joined Xie Yuanxun for breakfast. Once he left, she took out her secret reports again, copying down material. She was still collecting information on Vice Minister Tang. Once she finished, she handed the papers to Liu Yun, who took them straight to the Music Palace.

　　Liu Zhu came in carrying a bowl of medicine. “Your Grace, it’s time to take your medicine.”

　　Shen Ling waved her hand. “Set it aside for now. I’ll drink it once it cools down.” Her eyes flicked toward the flower pot by the door.

　　Liu Zhu shook her head. “Before His Majesty left, he told me to personally make sure you drink it.”

　　Shen Ling paused. “......” He really thought of everything! With Liu Zhu standing guard, there was no way she could secretly dump the medicine. She had to drink it.

　　But she didn’t want to! There was so much huanglian in it!

　　Liu Zhu gently persuaded, “Your Grace, it’s better to drink it while it’s warm. If it cools, it will taste even more bitter.”

　　Finally, Shen Ling finished the medicine, staring blankly ahead with a dazed expression.

　　Liu Zhu hurried to feed her some candied treats.

　　Liu Zhu said, “The Imperial Kitchen just sent word that a new chef can roast a whole lamb. Shall Your Grace have it today?”

　　Shen Ling nodded. “We’ll have it for dinner. Keep lunch light.”

　　Liu Zhu said, “Understood.”    

　　......

　　Vice Minister Tang’s Manor was draped in white banners. This was because he was holding a funeral for his wife. Xie Yuanxun had said before that he wanted to take care of Vice Minister Tang’s late niece, whose death had been caused by his wife. Vice Minister Tang had no choice but to endure his grief and let his wife pass away naturally.

　　Vice Minister Tang didn’t have much silver, so he had to borrow from his connections in the bureaucracy. But most people avoided him, and no one dared lend him money, since everyone knew his career was over.

　　In the end, he had no choice but to borrow from his wife’s family. He also went to his concubines and other household women, and even approached the merchants who had come to his Manor before. As an official, he had authority, but merchants were just merchants—they couldn’t compete. Through threats and pressure, Vice Minister Tang finally managed to gather the full 100,000 taels, though it took him several batches and left him physically and financially drained.

　　At this point, Vice Minister Tang was heavily in debt and practically broke.

　　When he returned home and just sat down, a servant rushed in holding a copy of the News Weekly. “Master, bad news.”

　　Vice Minister Tang frowned. “What now?”

　　The servant lowered his head and handed over the newspaper. “Master, it’s about that person, ‘Tang So-and-So,’ again.”

　　Vice Minister Tang snatched it up, and his vision went black. He fainted instantly.

　　The newspaper fluttered to the ground.

　　Before Court began, several ministers huddled together to whisper.

　　“Did you hear? Vice Minister Tang fainted at his Manor. I heard that when he woke up, he couldn’t move anymore. He’s paralyzed in bed.”

　　“He had it coming. Look at what he’s done. His concubines lent money at interest, causing countless deaths, while he and his household lived in luxury. And when he was a local official, he ruled on so many false cases. His son assaulted a local woman, and she hung herself after being taken from her fiancé. Her family and fiancé tried to appeal, but he just had them beaten and thrown out.”

　　“He’s finished this time.”

　　“No kidding. The merchants he borrowed money from have been running to his Manor every day, but Vice Minister Tang can’t pay them back.”

　　“His Majesty has arrived.”

　　When Xie Yuanxun sat on the dragon throne, all the officials immediately fell silent and began reporting on state affairs.

　　Near the end of Court, Xie Yuanxun called, “Vice Minister Tang.”

　　Minister Qu stepped forward. “Your Majesty, Vice Minister Tang is paralyzed on one side of his body and cannot attend Court.”

　　“Is that so.”

　　“How did he become paralyzed?” Xie Yuanxun asked.

　　“Apparently, it was after seeing a newspaper,” Minister Qu replied.

　　Xie Yuanxun nodded. Since Vice Minister Tang was now paralyzed and could no longer pay back the money, Xie Yuanxun had no further interest in “helping” him. The silver from his household would remain in imperial hands.

　　Xie Yuanxun casually asked, “No censors impeached him?”

　　No sooner had he spoken than a censor stepped forward to denounce Vice Minister Tang, detailing every crime he had committed. It was said that not executing him would leave the common people enraged.

　　Xie Yuanxun commanded, “Have Vice Minister Tang arrested. The Ministry of Justice will investigate all matters concerning him. Execution after the autumn harvest is too far off. Once the investigation is complete, he can be executed.”

　　The Minister of Justice replied, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

　　That same day, Xie Yuanxun told Shen Ling that Vice Minister Tang would no longer have the chance to repay any money. Shen Ling didn’t pay it much attention.

　　Because Vice Minister Tang’s downfall had begun with the News Weekly, the newspaper sold even better. Officials read it to see if they might be the next “Vice Minister Tang,” ladies of the Palace read it for entertainment, and commoners followed it passionately—it gave them a way to understand current events.

　　Shen Ling no longer used officials’ affairs as her material. Instead, she had Liu Yun and the people in the Music Palace collect gossip from the Capital and other places. She didn’t want them to treat the newspaper like a rampaging flood, a sword hanging over their heads. It was better for them to stay alert, reflect, and avoid making mistakes.

　　That day, Shen Ling received the secret reports from the Shen household. Yes, the Shen household.

　　She saw that the documents detailed everything about Shen Xi and Shen Jinxiu getting together. Madam Jiang hadn’t fainted from anger yet, but it was close. Whenever she went after Shen Xi, Shen Jinxiu would show up, and another fight would break out. These three people’s lives were a daily drama. Yet, neither Madam Jiang nor Shen Xi or Shen Jinxiu had told Shen Kangzheng anything.

　　Madam Jiang used to be pretty fond of Shen Xi, but now… she just couldn’t bring herself to care.

　　Shen Ling smiled to herself, amused.

　　In the original story, the original Shen Ling always stayed in the Shen Manor. With the original Shen Ling as a comparison, Shen Xi naturally looked perfect. Without her around, though… well, everyone’s true colors would show. With original Shen Ling there, all the internal conflicts of the Shen household centered on her. Without her… hehe.

　　Back then, Shen Ling chose to enter the Palace not only to avoid the main plotlines with Shen Xi and Shen Jinxiu, she also wanted to sit back and watch the drama unfold.

　　And they certainly didn't disappoint her.

　　Shen Ling remembered that Shen Xi in the book also had a scene where a matchmaker came to propose marriage. However, at that time, a maid whispered in the original Shen Ling's ear that she was an old maid and that it was unacceptable for a younger sister to marry before her older sister. Anyway, the original Shen Ling was instigated to jump out and complain about the unfairness, and she ruined Shen Xi's marriage proposal.

　　What followed was Shen Xi’s tearful complaints, asking why her marriage prospects were sabotaged. Madam Jiang punished the original Shen Ling by having her copy Buddhist scriptures, and Shen Xi, as always, gained even more of Madam Jiang’s sympathy.

　　But how could the world be so coincidental? When Shen Xi was proposed to, a maid whispered in the original Shen Ling's ear to stir up trouble.

　　The first time Shen Ling met Shen Xi, she already knew Shen Xi was proud and arrogant. Whether it was the original Shen Ling or Shen Ling herself, Shen Xi always aimed to overshadow her.

　　In the book, the proposal came from one of Shen Kangzheng’s subordinates, someone lower in rank than the Shen household. Shen Xi naturally looked down on him and couldn’t ruin the proposal herself, so the original Shen Ling got used.

　　Now, the proposer wasn’t just a subordinate—it was the second son of the Marquis’s household. Shen Xi still refused him, and Shen Ling didn’t even have to guess why. Shen Xi was afraid—afraid that after she left the Shen family, Madam Jiang would change her attitude towards her. Shen Xi's position depended entirely on the Shen family's approval of her.

　　Shen Ling didn’t need that kind of validation, but Shen Xi did.

　　So Shen Xi clutched onto Shen Jinxiu, even if it meant exposing her relationship with him this early, she didn’t care.

　　“I’ll see what else they’ve done…”

　　Shen Ling continued reading. Shen Xi was punished by Madam Jiang to copy Buddhist scriptures. Exhausted from the work, Shen Xi fainted from fatigue. Shen Jinxiu, angry, dragged Shen Xi out of the Manor. Madam Jiang fell ill from anger and sought ginseng slices to drink, only to discover that the ginseng Shen Xi brought back from the Princess's Manor was cheap imitation. The real good stuff had been secretly kept by Shen Xi.

　　Shen Ling slapped the table laughing. “Hahahahaha.”

　　She couldn’t stop herself. Shen Xi’s maneuvering was just… brilliant.

　　Then Shen Ling saw in the report that Madam Jiang planned to enter the Palace to look for her. Shen Ling pouted. Madam Jiang wanted to see her, but she had zero interest in meeting her.

　　Shen Ling narrowed her eyes. She decided to remind Shen Xi. If Shen Xi knew that Madam Jiang wanted to get close to her, would Shen Xi be extremely upset?

________________

Glossary

¹ Spring Palace Illustration (春宫图): Erotic paintings or prints from ancient China, typically depicting intimate scenes between couples. Often presented as art, moral satire, or educational material rather than explicit pornography.

• Spring Palace (春宫): Literally “spring chamber.” A euphemism for sexual or intimate matters, with “spring” symbolizing desire, vitality, and sensuality.

• Chun Gong Tu (春宫图): The original Chinese term for Spring Palace illustrations.

²Huanglian (黄连) is the Chinese name, while Coptis chinensis is the scientific/Latin name for the plant. They refer to the same herb, often used in traditional Chinese medicine for clearing heat, drying dampness, and calming “fire” in the body.

Fun fact: it’s super bitter, so no wonder Shen Ling didn’t want to drink it. 😂        

Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter