The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 56: Are you Nanny Rong? You’re Even Pricking Me With Needles!

　　Xie Yuanxun looked at her. Shen Ling lifted her gaze, meeting his eyes with all the tenderness she could muster. But in her heart, she was thinking:

　　—You’re wearing it whether you like it or not! One word: you’re gonna wear it!!!

　　Xie Yuanxun said nothing.

　　He sat down deliberately, his eyes coldly scanning the sleeping robe embroidered with the “matchstick dragon.” Then he gestured to the dragon on his own clothes. “Do you see the difference between the two?”

　　Shen Ling guessed his unspoken words: What the heck did you even stitch here? Don’t you have any sense? You actually want me to wear this? Are you even human?!

　　If anyone with a shred of conscience heard him, they’d probably feel guilty. Too bad for him, Shen Ling was operating on the motto: I am a heartless killer.

　　—I know you feel wronged, but I really can’t help it! I wanted to stitch you a sleeping robe that’s dreamy and magical, but my fingers just can’t keep up with my thoughts, the hardware can’t keep up, so… there’s nothing I can do. It’s fate. You’re just meant to wear a robe like this.

　　—I’m so helpless, really. Look into my eyes—don’t they look pure, cute, and innocent?

　　Xie Yuanxun pressed his forehead, then with a stern expression, reached to pull the robe from Shen Ling’s hands… but it didn’t budge. He said, “Weren’t you going to give it to me? Why are you holding on? Let go.”

　　Seeing the sheer I’ll-keep-it-if-I-get-it-then-throw-it-away vibe radiating from him, Shen Ling had no way she’d hand it over. Instinctively, she clutched the robe tighter.

　　Shen Ling asked, “What did you just say?”

　　—I would give it to you, but your intention to throw it away is so obvious. How exactly do you expect me to hand it over?

　　—And even if you really want to toss it, at least put on some act in front of me first. You revealed your thoughts right away—do you really think I’m dumb enough to agree?

　　Xie Yuanxun, “Let go.”

　　Shen Ling avoided looking at him, her eyes flitting to the ceiling and floor, and mumbled an excuse, “It’s not that I don’t want to give it to you… it’s just that my fingers are so tense they’re stuck. I can’t let go.”

　　—Anyway, I’m not letting go!

　　Shen Ling refused to believe Xie Yuanxun would really grab the robe from her by force. If she fought him, she knew she’d lose, so she could only pretend to be weak.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s gaze slowly turned dangerous. Shen Ling swallowed hard, her heart starting to panic. She realized there was no need to fake weakness—she was already a weak little mess in front of him.

　　Shen Ling couldn’t just hand the robe over so easily, and it made her uneasy. Sure, her embroidery was a little ugly, but it was the first one she’d ever made with her own hands for him. Letting him throw it away felt impossible.

　　She frowned and said, “Why do you have to be so picky? If you won’t wear it, I’ll wear it myself!”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “I’m not picky.”

　　Shen Ling snapped back, “If you’re not picky, then why are you grabbing it from me? You just want to get it in your hands and then throw it away. And later, if I ask, you’ll pretend you don’t remember.”

　　—Ha! I already know how this whole thing goes. You say you’re not picky, I don’t believe a word of it.

　　Xie Yuanxun didn’t hold back and pinched her cheeks—left cheek, right cheek, left again…

　　—Wait, have you gotten addicted to pinching me?!

　　—Ouch! Are you kneading dough or my face? My face does hurt! And anyway, no one kneads dough like you, with this kind of squeeze and release. Don’t you know how to relax it a little?

　　Shen Ling tried to dodge, but Xie Yuanxun wouldn’t let her. She kept a straight face, but in her head, she was cursing a storm.

　　Xie Yuanxun stifled a laugh and shot her a sidelong glance. “You’re not allowed to dodge.”

　　—Hey, what’s with this? Did you eat some kind of super bossy rice today or what?

　　Xie Yuanxun continued, “You want me to wear such an ugly robe, so I pinch your face a little. Think of it as compensation. If it weren’t for your pitiful look, I wouldn’t even wear it.”

　　Shen Ling, “……”

　　—Compensation? Pitiful? Who’s pitiful here?

　　Her rebellious streak flared. “Haha, sorry, I suddenly don’t want to give it to you anymore. I’ve decided I want to wear it myself. You’re His Majesty, how could you wear something this ugly? It’d make you uncomfortable all over. How could I let you suffer?”

　　So she wasn’t planning to give it anymore!

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “If you won’t give it to me, then who do you plan to give it to?”

　　His fingers hovered near her neck, as if daring her to say she’d give it to someone else, ready to grab her if she did.

　　Shen Ling snorted. “I’m not giving it to anyone. Can’t I just wear it myself?”

　　—I made it with my own hands, I’ll wear it myself!

　　Xie Yuanxun’s face stayed calm. “In your dreams.”

　　“This is mine.”

　　Shen Ling, “……???”

　　—Damn it, I can’t even hear you! You say it’s yours, you call it, will it answer? Every single stitch is my hard work!

　　Smartly, Shen Ling curled the robe into a tight bundle and hugged it to her chest, refusing to let Xie Yuanxun touch it.

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “You really won’t give it to me?”

　　Shen Ling shook her head.

　　—No means no, no is still no.

　　Xie Yuanxun snorted coldly. He scooped her up and carried her to the bed, his voice quiet and dark as he said, “You’ll give it to me eventually.”

　　Shen Ling’s head filled with question marks.

　　—Wait, what are you even planning, ancestor? Carry me to bed to sleep and then sneak it away while I’m unconscious? When did your strategy drop to elementary school level?

　　Shen Ling covered her face; she simply couldn't bear to look at him. Calling him a little kid was not an exaggeration—this level, tsk tsk tsk.

　　Xie Yuanxun laid her down on the bed, letting her lie flat, and pulled over a neatly folded silk quilt. Shen Ling obediently watched his every move, though her hands were busy hiding the robe under her body.

　　The quilt was soon covering her, and Shen Ling’s eyelids twitched nonstop.    

　　—What do I do? Do I really have to pretend to be asleep and give him a way out?

　　Xie Yuanxun patted her head. Pretend to sleep? Not necessary.

　　The next moment, he grabbed the quilt and wrapped her up in it. Shen Ling’s vision went dark, and she instinctively tried to struggle, only to find Xie Yuanxun holding her tight with the quilt around her body.

　　Shen Ling screamed at the top of her lungs, “Let me out!”

　　—Is he trying to play the suffocation game with me?

　　—Beast!!!

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Will you give it to me or not?”

　　Shen Ling lifted her leg to kick him, but as soon as she swung, all she hit was the quilt wrapped around herself—there was no way she could reach him. “No!”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Give it to me, and I’ll let you out. If you don’t give it to me, I won’t let you out.”

　　—Ahhhhhhh!

　　—You really are a beast! Using this kind of trick to threaten me, you, you, you’re not human! You idiot!

　　—I will never give in! Absolutely! Never!

　　Xie Yuanxun spoke slowly, “I hear you breathing so hard right now. Is the air running out in there? Don’t you want to come out and get some fresh air?”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　Shen Ling paused for a moment, then decisively handed over the sleeping robe. “Your Majesty, I know you want to wear it. I was worried you’d feel cold, so I warmed it up for you.”

　　—I’m just that adaptable, able to bend when needed. Great people don’t sweat the small stuff. My neck’s a little sore from looking up so high, but occasionally lowering it is a new experiment. Believe it or not, I believe it.

　　Xie Yuanxun pulled Shen Ling closer, brushed the damp hair off her forehead, and leaned down, his lips lightly brushing her cheek. “Your face is so flushed. I like it.”

　　Shen Ling’s hands trembled.

　　—What the hell! You little bastard! My face is red because I’ve been suffocating under that blanket!

　　—And you like it? I like it too, damn it!

　　Shen Ling rolled over, shoving the blanket all over Xie Yuanxun, and then hugged him tightly. “Your Majesty, I know you like it. So instead of just looking at my face, why don’t you make your own cheeks just as flushed?”

　　Her idea was clever, but her strength wasn’t enough. Before long, Shen Ling was flipped down by Xie Yuanxun. He bit her nose gently, a sound slipping out between his teeth. “I just covered you with the blanket, and you have to retaliate for such a small thing. Your grudge is really heavy.”

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　—What? My grudge is heavy? Who’s the one biting my nose right now? Isn’t the heaviest grudge yours?!

　　—I’ve been flung into this huge mess for no reason, completely helpless! Why is life so cruel? Poor me!

　　—But I did get to cover you with the blanket too, so… happy, hehe.

　　Xie Yuanxun pulled the quilt aside and put on the sleeping garment, ignoring the “matchstick dragon” embroidery. Everything else was fine, the fit was good. He shifted slightly, then his hand brushed over his waist, and Shen Ling’s eyes widened as she saw him lift a thin needle from the fabric. He looked at her coolly.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “What’s this?”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—Are you out of your mind? This is a needle! A sewing needle! And it came from the clothes I made myself!

　　Shen Ling felt guilty. He must have been pricked by this needle, right? She asked with a worried look, “Your Majesty, it’s the middle of the night. What are you doing with a needle? Put it down, or you might prick your hand and start bleeding.”

　　Xie Yuanxun just stared at her as she faked ignorance. He lifted his shirt, revealing a drop of blood at his waist where the needle she forgot to remove had pricked him. “My hand didn’t bleed. The part that bled is here.”

　　Shen Ling froze. How the hell was she supposed to explain this? She didn’t leave the needle on purpose! Even if it was true that she forgot to pull it out, now Xie Yuanxun’s body was bleeding. How was she supposed to handle this?

　　She grabbed a handkerchief and tried to downplay it, “Bleeding, huh? Every woman has a few of those days. This is just a tiny bit, you can barely see it. It’s nothing serious, I’ll just wipe it for you and it’s fine.”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s large hand touched her waist and stomach, exactly the same spot where the needle had pricked him. Shen Ling’s eye twitched. He he he he’s not thinking of using the needle to prick me back, is he!

　　This was exactly what Shen Ling had been most worried about. She was just trying to give him a piece of clothing, and somehow it had turned into such a rollercoaster, twists and turns, and now—bleeding!

　　When she saw that he wasn’t bleeding anymore, Shen Ling said, “See, I told you. Just wipe off the blood and it’s fine.”

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced at her lazily, “Oh.”

　　Shen Ling peeked at him secretly. He was so calm, and it made her skin crawl.

　　—I don’t want to doubt him, but I can’t shake the feeling that he still has more planned.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s left hand rested on her waist, while his right hand held the needle that had pricked him. The tip hovered just above her skin, and he asked with curiosity, “What if I poke down? Are you scared?”

　　Shen Ling froze completely.

　　—See, I knew there was more to this!

　　—You little rascal, you actually ask if I’m scared after shoving this massive needle in front of me? All that time I comforted you, and now it’s basically wasted, huh!

　　—If you even dare poke me with that, I'll never forgive you.

　　Shen Ling smiled, in that ‘tiny innocent flower trying not to cry but staying strong’ tone, “Your Majesty, I’m not scared.” She even gave him a big compliment on top of it, “I know you wouldn’t hurt me.”

　　Xie Yuanxun, “If you’re not scared, then why are you trembling?”

　　Shen Ling tested him carefully, “Well… what if I am scared?”

　　He half-smiled, half-smirked, “If you’re scared, doesn’t that contradict what you just said about ‘I won’t hurt you’? You’re only scared because you know I could hurt you.”

　　Shen Ling, “….”

　　—No matter how I answer, it’s wrong.

　　—Why even ask if I’m scared? Staying silent would have been smarter than opening my mouth.    

　　Xie Yuanxun narrowed his eyes. Staying silent doesn’t automatically make it right? Did she really think that by not answering, he wouldn’t find fault?

　　He kept a stern face. “Don’t move, I’m going to poke you.”

　　—Don’t move? Only an idiot wouldn’t move.

　　Shen Ling completely ignored him, but no matter how she wriggled, she couldn’t shake him off. By the end, she wanted to complain—what’s the point of flopping around like a fish out of water? It’s completely useless, just struggling in place!

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Not moving anymore?”

　　Shen Ling blankly replied, “…I’m out of strength.”

　　Xie Yuanxun, “Pfft.” He chuckled but held back, not giving Shen Ling a chance to joke around. “I’m going to poke a few more spots. You didn’t listen to me before; you had to move when I told you not to.”    

　　Shen Ling’s face twisted for a moment.

　　—I'm the one who's about to suffer, why do you sound so aggrieved? If you're so capable, don't try to prick me like a vengeful old lady!

　　Old lady? Where did she even get this idea? From the sound of it, it’s one of those needle-poking old ladies… just like him right now…

　　Xie Yuanxun almost laughed at the metaphor. He said seriously, “Don’t make me laugh.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “Huh?”

　　—Who’s making you laugh?

　　—I’m looking this sad, and you think I’m joking?! Are you mocking me or what?!

　　—Ugh, this is so infuriating!   

　　The needle in Xie Yuanxun’s hand had long since fallen to the floor without him even noticing. He kept talking about “pricking” Shen Ling, but it wasn’t real at all. His fingers lightly tapped her earlobe. “Here,” he said. Shen Ling shivered. His hand slid down to her neck. “Here.” Another shiver. His fingers continued downward… at every spot he mentioned, he would say a word, and Shen Ling would flinch.

　　Shen Ling didn’t want to shiver, but her body wouldn’t obey!

　　It was like a condemned prisoner on the execution block. Knowing the blade would strike again and again, their body would tremble from the torment. Shen Ling felt the same way. She knew Xie Yuanxun was just teasing about pricking her, yet he kept delaying, stretching it out, and it felt torturous. Even the cruelest hawk training wasn’t this complicated.

　　Shen Ling grabbed his hand. “Wait… fine, you pick the spot, but why are you taking off my clothes? How does that have anything to do with pricking me?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Of course it matters. That way I can find the spot more accurately.”

　　—But why do I feel like you’re just taking advantage of me? Where are your hands?! That’s my chest! And you even squeezed! Did I agree to this?!    

　　In the end, Shen Ling clung to his neck and broke down into tears, her voice choked. “Waaah, didn’t we agree you’d just use a sewing needle to prick me? This isn’t a needle, this is a stick…”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “…why are you trying to make me laugh again?”

　　—Waaah! I’m literally complaining here!

　　—How did I ever make you think I’m trying to tease you? Life is so unfair!

　　“Pfft.”

　　“Waaah… get off me, I’m done!” Shen Ling flopped onto his chest like a limp fish, her pupils not dilating was her last act of stubbornness!

　　Rolling around in bed was anything but fun. Her waist was completely numb.

　　Xie Yuanxun pressed a gentle kiss to the top of her head, his warm hands rubbing her shoulders. Shen Ling jabbed his chest in frustration.

　　She wondered, he’s supposed to be just as lazy as me, so why does he have so much stamina?

　　Her thoughts drifted as sleep crept in. Fighting the drowsiness, she nestled her head in the crook of his shoulder and mumbled, “Polo… I want to watch you play polo…”

　　Xie Yuanxun brushed his chin against her forehead. “Alright, I’ll show you.”

　　Only then did Shen Ling finally sink into a deep, peaceful sleep.    

  

       

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