The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 44: Walking Straight into a Thieves’ Den Together

　　Shen Ling looked stunned. “???”

　　—I’ll know later? What does that even mean?

　　—Since when did you become so mysterious? One trip to Yongning Town and now you’re acting like you’ve been possessed by some fortune-telling granny?

　　Xie Yuanxun raised his hand and lightly knocked her on the head. Slightly annoyed, he said, “Watch where you’re walking.” What kind of nonsense was she even thinking about?

　　Xie Yuanxun strolled down the road at an unhurried pace. Somehow, the way he walked made this ordinary street feel like the grand avenue of an Imperial Palace. Shen Ling rubbed her forehead. She had been knocked on the head by him so many times that she could practically judge his mood by the strength of the knock.

　　Right now, his mood was… so-so. Not particularly good, but not bad either.

　　Xie Yuanxun lifted a brow at her and said, “You’re not even yelling that it hurts anymore.”

　　Shen Ling lowered her hand from her forehead and said, “What can I do? I’ve already gotten used to you knocking me on the head.”

　　—Besides, even if I shouted that it hurts, you’d still knock me the next time you felt like it. Saying it hurts is useless. If it actually worked, I would’ve been screaming my lungs out long ago.

　　—Maybe you’re the kind of lunatic who gets even more excited the more I complain about it hurting. No, scratch that, you’re already a lunatic. Just looking at you, you seem weirdly perverted.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You’re wrong. It’s not because you’re used to it that it doesn’t hurt. It’s because your skin is too thick, so you don’t feel the pain.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—Don’t think I can’t tell you’re calling me thick-skinned!

　　—Dog of a man. Saying I’ve got thick skin and too much flesh. Why hasn’t all that flesh choked you to death yet?

　　Shen Ling wanted to smack him back, but after glancing at the height difference between them, she gave up on the idea. She wasn’t as tall as him, so she had no advantage. If they really started trading knocks to the forehead, there was no need to guess the outcome. In the end, her head would definitely get knocked more times. To reach his forehead, she would have to jump, and that was assuming Xie Yuanxun didn’t dodge.

　　Shen Ling sighed. When an ordinary brat acts up, you can just smack their butt and teach them a lesson. But the ancestor beside her was someone she couldn’t hit lightly or heavily. If he wanted to act up, all she could do was let him. Even if he went wild enough to reach the heavens, she still had to remain calm and unmoving. Otherwise, sooner or later, he’d give her a heart attack.

　　Shen Ling said, “Let’s hurry and catch up with her. The sooner we find a place to stay, the sooner we can rest.” She was still thinking about the Coptis chinensis herbs she had been carrying on her back, planning to boil them for him to drink. She had promised he would drink it for ten days.

　　Xie Yuanxun raised a brow, his tone a little strange. “You really haven’t noticed at all.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “Noticed what?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You’ll know in a bit.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—Damn it, that line again.

　　Shen Ling said, “Can’t you just tell me directly?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “If you admit you’re stupid, I’ll tell you.”

　　Shen Ling let out a dry laugh. “Then forget it.”

　　—Smart people never joke about their own intelligence.

　　—You want me to personally admit I’m stupid? Keep dreaming.

　　Xie Yuanxun sighed. “Why won’t you just admit it?” There was an unmistakable hint of regret in his voice, so obvious it was practically visible.

　　Shen Ling was speechless. “......”

　　—Enough already. I can feel the regret dripping from your words even from this far away.

　　Shen Ling finally realized something. Xie Yuanxun had started acting strange ever since they ran into that middle aged woman. And since they had met her inside a pawnshop, Shen Ling had not really suspected her at all. After all, what kind of villain would dare show up openly in public? Don’t bad people usually sneak around in the shadows?

　　As for Xie Yuanxun, his dislike toward the woman was completely undisguised. If this were the Imperial Palace, Shen Ling would not have been surprised at all if she suddenly heard him order someone to drag the woman away and execute her.

　　—Could it be that this woman really has a problem...

　　The thought suddenly popped into her mind. Shen Ling narrowed her eyes suspiciously and looked the middle aged woman over, her gaze sharp and focused, as if she were about to say something brilliant like, “There is only one truth.”

　　“Hmm.” Shen Ling frowned and fell into thought.

　　—There’s no way my luck is that bad, right? I’m probably just overthinking it.

　　Cold sweat began pouring down the middle aged woman’s forehead even more heavily. At first, she only felt that Xie Yuanxun’s gaze was too sharp, sharp enough to see straight through her, which made him dangerous. But now, under Shen Ling’s careful scrutiny, she felt an even greater sense of danger from Shen Ling. Compared to Xie Yuanxun, Shen Ling was no less threatening.

　　The woman thought it would be best to hurry and bring them back to the hideout. If she lingered too long on the road, she might accidentally reveal something and give them a chance to escape. Picking up her pace, she said, “Just one more turn and we’ll be there.”

　　Today, the middle aged woman had come out to pawn stolen goods. That was also why she had not brought anyone with her and came alone. Otherwise, she would have already led Shen Ling and Xie Yuanxun toward some quiet, remote place, had her people knock them unconscious, and carry them away.

　　She could tell that these two were no ordinary people. Their identities were probably either wealthy or noble. Still, she was not afraid.

　　Her cousin’s daughter was a concubine of the county magistrate. With that connection and her cousin’s daughter secretly cooperating with her, she had even dared to kidnap the magistrate’s legitimate daughter and sell her off to the countryside as a child bride. The magistrate’s wife only had that one child. After her daughter disappeared, she fell into deep grief, spending her days chanting scriptures and copying Buddhist texts. Meanwhile, the cousin’s daughter remained favored by the magistrate, and this distant relative of hers naturally received quite a few benefits as well.

　　After turning the corner, the group arrived in front of a house with door gods pasted on the front gate. The middle aged woman stepped forward and raised her hand to knock.

　　“Dazhu, Mazi, are you not home? Looks like you two went out.”

　　“Tzuzi, open the door. Mom’s back.”

　　“Bang bang—”

　　“Tzuzi, it’s Mom. Come open the door for me.”

　　Only then did a young voice come from inside the house. “Mom, I’m coming to open it.”

　　Very soon, the door was opened from the inside. A little boy stood there, sturdy and round faced, with a small topknot tied on top of his head.

　　But he was still too small, so he only managed to open the door a narrow crack. The woman reached out and pushed it wider. Turning to Shen Ling, she said, “This is my son, Tzuzi. He’s obedient and well behaved. Come in, both of you.”

　　With that, the woman stepped over the threshold first and walked inside. “I need to go into the room to get the land deed.”

　　Tzuzi looked at Shen Ling, his eyes lighting up. But the moment he saw Xie Yuanxun, he shrank his neck in fear and quickly hid behind the door. After a moment, he secretly poked his head out again, as if worried they might leave. Shen Ling glanced at Xie Yuanxun.

　　—Tsk, truly a “keep strangers away” kind of face.

　　—Even kids are scared of you. Looks like my charm really is stronger than yours. When children see me, their eyes light up.

　　Shen Ling said, “Let’s go. We should head inside.”        

　　After the two of them stepped inside, the place looked just like an ordinary commoner’s home. Shen Ling lowered her head to look at Tzuzi, a small smile appearing at the corner of her lips. “Your name is Tzuzi, right? Are you the only one at home?”

　　Tzuzi gave a strange little smile.

　　At the same time, the door behind them slammed shut with a loud “bang.” Two grown men had been hiding behind the door all along. Tzuzi ran over and hid behind one of them.

　　“Dad, Mom found good goods again. Did you see? I helped Mom keep an eye on them just now and didn’t let them run away.”

　　The man said, “Good job. I’ll buy you some candy later.”

　　“Thanks, Dad!”

　　Shen Ling, “???”

　　“……”

　　What did he mean by “good goods”? The good goods… were they talking about her and Xie Yuanxun?

　　Just then, the middle aged woman who had said she was going to fetch the house deed came out holding a knife. A cold glint ran along the blade, the kind that made it obvious at a glance that it had taken lives before. Seeing that the door was tightly shut, she lifted her chin and said, “I was worried the whole way here that you might escape. Now that you’ve come onto my turf, I don’t have to worry about you running away anymore.”    

　　“Dazhu, Mazi, stop standing around. Go inside and grab some ropes and tie them up. Shitou and the others aren’t here. Did they run off to those brothel alleys again to find women? Tch, a bunch of lustful hooligans. Not one of them stayed behind to keep an eye on the batch we kidnapped. Last time all of you went out together, and one of the prettier ones smashed her head against the wall and died. Just thinking about it is bad luck.”

　　Dazhu said, “Even if Shitou and the others went out, Mazi and I are still here watching. You won’t let them touch the people in that room anyway. Of course they’re going to the brothels to have some fun.”

　　The middle aged woman snorted. “Isn’t that so I can sell them for a better price? If you lot touch those girls after they’ve been drugged, they won’t sell for nearly as much. Even if they do sell, the price will be lower than when they’re still pure. But today I really did find two good goods.”

　　Her greedy gaze slid toward Shen Ling.

　　Shen Ling, “!!!”

　　—Ah. So I’ve walked straight into a human traffickers’ den.

　　Shen Ling quietly moved to stand beside Xie Yuanxun, her eyes sharp with caution.    

　　Xie Yuanxun spoke in a casual tone. “So, do you understand now what I was trying to let you figure out?”

　　Shen Ling, “......” She lifted her head and met his gaze.

　　After a moment, she forced the words out. “You already knew she wasn’t a good person. She’s a human trafficker.”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied easily, “Yep.”

　　Shen Ling stared at him. “If you knew, then why didn’t you tell me? Why did you still follow her here?”

　　Xie Yuanxun thought for a moment before answering, “I wanted to see when you’d notice something was off about her. Turns out you only realized it after they completely showed their true colors.”

　　Shen Ling felt like her face was about to crack apart. “......”

　　—Should I compliment your perfectly logical reasoning while I’m at it?

　　—Just because you wanted the answer to that ridiculous question, we ended up walking straight into a human traffickers’ den!    

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “The ‘Grandma Wolf’ story… pretty fitting, don’t you think?”

　　Shen Ling’s breathing hitched. Damn it, her chest felt like someone had just smashed a giant stone against it!

　　—Did you secretly steal my mouth and give it some kind of divine blessing or something?

　　—Back at the hunting grounds, I casually said there might be an ambush, and assassins actually popped out. And now I just told a fantasy version of a story, and suddenly a real Grandma Wolf with bad intentions shows up!

　　—What the hell is this...

　　—That Grandma Wolf disguised herself as a dog. This one disguised herself as a kind, ordinary middle aged woman.

　　—Do people seriously have zero trust left for each other?!

　　What made Shen Ling even angrier was that Xie Yuanxun hadn’t warned her at all!!!    

　　When other people got caught by traffickers, it was always because they’d been knocked out or drugged. Not her—she just walked right into the trap!!!

　　Shen Ling’s face was twisted with pure despair.

　　—I really, really, really want to smash my head straight into a block of tofu, sob sob sob.

　　—Who’s worse off than me, willingly walking into the hands of human traffickers?

　　—I seriously…

　　—What the hell is this world coming to? Can we even play happily anymore?

　　Her expression was so vivid that Xie Yuanxun could practically hear all the drama in her head. He laughed, utterly delighted, “Hahaha.”

　　Shen Ling gave him a deadpan stare, “......”    

　　—Ancestor, what the hell are you laughing at? You’re laughing when you’re in the human traffickers’ lair with me, you idiot!

　　—Laughing? Laughing what for? Now’s not the time to be amused. Tell me, where’s the funny part? If you don’t figure out how to get us out, what do you want, a bicycle?!

　　Xie Yuanxun was still cackling wildly beside her, “Hahahahaha!”

　　Shen Ling, “......???”

　　She was on the verge of despair, ears ringing from his obnoxious laughter. Her eyes went blank. Whatever, she’d known Xie Yuanxun was unreliable, but she hadn’t realized he could be this unreliable. Ugh, she just wanted to cry at a perfect forty-five-degree angle.   

    

    

   

 

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