The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 66: The Empress is Pregnant

　　In a scene this tense and murderous, the only person who could laugh out loud like that, and so wildly at that, was Xie Yuanxun alone. Shen Ling kept a blank expression as she looked at the man beside her who couldn’t stop laughing, then glanced at the court historian nearby, who was diligently recording everything with his brush.

　　She suddenly had a thought. If people in the future ever read this official record, they would probably be completely baffled and blurt out, “What kind of species even is this Emperor Xie Yuanxun?!”

　　Shen Ling turned her head and looked down at the silent crowd below. Well, not entirely silent. There was still Shen Jinxiu lying on the ground, clutching his severed arm and groaning in agony.

　　She opened her mouth, thought for a long moment, and finally came up with something to say.

　　“……Clean up the blood on the floor first.”

　　—There’s so much of it, it’s honestly kind of gross.

　　Someone asked, “Your Grace, how should today’s incident be handled?”

　　Prince Xin immediately jolted, his whole body trembling as he spoke, “Your Majesty, Your Grace, I’m innocent! I have no idea why the white lion acted like this. It was perfectly fine before. Your Majesty, someone must be trying to frame me!”

　　If he didn’t step forward and prove his innocence now, then if anyone present suggested that Xie Yuanxun throw him into the imperial prison, he wouldn’t even have the chance to cry about it later.

　　“Your Majesty, whether Prince Xin is innocent or not, he must undergo investigation before being allowed to leave. Otherwise, what if others follow this example in the future?”

　　“And as for Marquis Xue… Xue Yunshi, and Shen… ah…” The speaker hesitated, clearly wary of the fact that Shen Jinxiu was Shen Ling’s elder brother, so he glossed over his name, “They should also be detained. Otherwise, why would the white lion ignore everyone else and charge straight toward them?”

　　Shen Ling looked at Shen Jinxiu, who had now become a ¹one-armed Yang Guo.

　　—Here it comes. Time for me to perform the classic “righteous execution of one’s own kin.”

　　—Let me think how to do this. First, I should speak in a compassionate, sorrowful tone and have them take Shen Jinxiu away. Then I’ll firmly declare that no one under suspicion can be spared. Finally, my eyes should be filled with deep grief, like I’m pained that he failed to meet expectations, showing all my inner conflict, anguish, and helplessness perfectly.

　　—Anyway, Shen Jinxiu isn’t innocent. Stepping on him a bit will also help polish my image as kind, gentle, and pure in front of everyone.

　　Xie Yuanxun: “Hahahahaha!”

　　He laughed again.

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—You’re really taking advantage of the fact that I can’t do anything to you in front of all these people, huh? So you’re just going all out, huh!

　　Xue Yunshi had already calmed down. Even when he saw the miserable state Shen Jinxiu was in on the ground, the one he had pushed out to take the blow, there wasn’t a trace of panic on his face.

　　The guards had already surrounded him quietly. Xue Yunshi took it all in with a cold gaze, then lifted his head to look at Xie Yuanxun above and demanded, “Tyrant, was it you who ordered someone to cripple my legs?”

　　Xie Yuanxun didn’t respond at all.

　　Shen Ling nodded hard in her heart.

　　—Yup, yup, it was totally him!

　　Xie Yuanxun shot her a half-smiling glance. Shen Ling immediately curved her lips into a sweet smile and sat down properly.

　　—It’s not that I’m cowardly, it’s just that when you smile like that, my heart starts panicking.

　　Xue Yunshi declared, “Tyrant, your actions are reckless and cruel. Everyone has the right to rise up against you! Today, I will rebel right here. If you willingly abdicate, I can still spare your life. Otherwise, both you and the woman by your side will lose your heads!”

　　Shen Ling: “!!!”

　　—Damn it, you obviously just want to rebel and take the throne for yourself, and yet you’re still spouting all this nonsense here. You think saying a few grand-sounding words can hide your ambition?

　　—Tch!

　　“How dare you!”

　　“Xue Yunshi, you’re committing treason!”

　　“Guards! Someone come! Seize this traitor and drag him away!”

　　Xue Yunshi swept his gaze over the officials who had stepped forward to defend the Emperor. “Think carefully about which side you want to stand on. You all know what kind of person I am after all these years. Having me take the throne is far better than continuing to live under this tyrant with a blade hanging over your heads.”

　　A few people’s expressions flickered.

　　Most of them were from powerful aristocratic families or had plenty of dirt in their own households.

　　Xue Yunshi continued, “Do you really think I’m rebelling alone? Behind me stands the Duke of Fuguo, who commands a powerful army!”

　　“I’ve already smashed the cup as the signal. The Duke of Fuguo should have begun the slaughter outside by now.”

　　“Listen. The sounds of fighting have already started outside.”

　　The hall erupted in an uproar.

　　No wonder they hadn’t seen the Duke of Fuguo today. So he had gone to act on Xue Yunshi’s behalf.

　　If things really went the way Xue Yunshi said, if they could take down Xie Yuanxun in one move and push Xue Yunshi onto the throne, then they would no longer have to live in constant fear of losing their lives at any moment for offending the Emperor.

　　And so, some people in the hall, having made up their minds, began stepping over to Xue Yunshi’s side.

　　“We’re supporting a wise ruler!”

　　“Exactly! As officials, we must think for the court and the people. A wise ruler is far more likely to leave our names in history than a tyrant!”

　　“With the Duke of Fuguo’s support, how could this great cause possibly fail?”

　　“I advise all of you to come over as well. Are you really going to die for a tyrant?”

　　Yang Zuoxiang, Minister Qu, and the others listened to the sounds of fighting outside, their expressions grave. But none of them had any intention of defecting to Xue Yunshi.

　　They had all risen from humble farming families through the imperial examinations. It was Xie Yuanxun who had given them the chance to realize their ambitions.

　　And more importantly…

　　They didn’t believe Xue Yunshi would actually succeed.

　　Had all these years of Xie Yuanxun’s rule been for nothing?

　　From the very beginning of his reign, plenty of people had tried to pull him down. And where were those people now? The grass on their graves had grown taller than a man.

　　Sure, their Emperor did like killing a bit too much, but those he killed all deserved it. As for his violent temperament… well, who didn’t have a bit of a temper? At most, His Majesty’s temper was just a little bigger than average.

　　Shen Ling leaned closer to Xie Yuanxun and whispered by his ear, “The Duke of Fuguo is actually still your man, right?”

　　—He’s an undercover planted in Xue Yunshi’s camp. I saw him coming out of Taiji Hall earlier.

　　Xie Yuanxun replied lazily, “What else would it be?”

　　Shen Ling looked sincerely at the group of officials gathered around Xue Yunshi and sighed, “Then they’re really in for it.”

　　—Pfft!

　　—They thought siding with Xue Yunshi would take them to the peak of life, but… tsk tsk tsk, no one rushes toward their own death faster than them.

　　Princess Yuzhen had never expected Xue Yunshi to actually go this far. She raised a trembling hand and pointed at him in shock. “Y-you… you fool!” She knew better than anyone just how terrifying Xie Yuanxun was.

　　Even though she held the title of princess, it was only because Xie Yuanxun had allowed the imperial clan to grant it to her for her consistent obedience. If she showed even the slightest sign of stepping out of line, she might very well end up accompanying her brothers and sisters who had already been killed by him.

　　Xue Yunshi said, “Mother, just wait. I’ll make you the Empress Dowager.”

　　Princess Yuzhen fainted the moment she heard that, her eyes rolling shut as she collapsed.

　　“Princess! Princess, wake up! Princess…”

　　Shen Kangzheng stood silently, waiting for the outcome of the confrontation between Xue Yunshi and Xie Yuanxun.

　　If Xue Yunshi won, then the injuries Shen Jinxiu had suffered would become a kind of “token of loyalty” from the Shen family. If Xie Yuanxun won, then Shen Jinxiu’s condition would simply be blamed on Xue Yunshi anyway. And even if Shen Jinxiu had ties to Xue Yunshi, with Shen Ling being the Emperor’s favored consort, no one would dare make things difficult for them.

　　Shen Kangzheng’s thoughts were calm and rational.

　　Compared to him, Madam Jiang was far more furious. If Shen Kangzheng hadn’t been holding her back, and if Shen Jinxiu wasn’t still lying in her arms, she would have already started cursing Xue Yunshi out loud.

　　“Bang!”    

　　The palace doors were suddenly pushed open.

　　The Duke of Fuguo walked in wearing full armor, followed by Song Qiaochu, whose face was splattered with blood.

　　Seeing them, the corners of Xue Yunshi’s lips lifted. He waited confidently, expecting the Duke to walk up and kneel before him.

　　“Your Majesty, the rebel forces have all been eliminated. Only the mastermind inside the hall remains alive. I await your orders.” The Duke of Fuguo ignored Xue Yunshi completely, stepping straight past him and kneeling respectfully in front of Xie Yuanxun to report.

　　To Xue Yunshi, that single action and sentence felt like the sky collapsing.

　　He turned stiffly toward Xie Yuanxun. “He… is your man?”

　　Xie Yuanxun looked down at him with cold, dismissive eyes. “When hasn’t he been?”

　　Xue Yunshi’s pupils shrank. His whole body started trembling uncontrollably.

　　“Ha… hahaha…” he laughed, voice breaking. “So you always knew. You always knew!”

　　So while he was plotting rebellion and trying to stage a coup, while he was recruiting officials from all sides, Xie Yuanxun had been watching the whole time?

　　Had he just been entertainment? A joke to pass the time? A bug that could be crushed whenever he felt like it?

　　Xue Yunshi looked utterly wrecked now, almost hysterical.

　　Compared to him, Xie Yuanxun remained seated above it all, calm, detached, almost bored.   

　　“It's over. Everything is over.”

　　That was what those who had supported Xue Yunshi were saying now.

　　Xie Yuanxun said coldly, “Arrest them all. Not a single one gets away.”

　　The Duke of Fuguo replied, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

　　Everyone connected to Xue Yunshi was personally taken away by the Duke’s men. However, when it came to Shen Kangzheng and the others, no one moved immediately. Instead, all eyes slowly drifted toward Shen Ling.

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—Why are you all looking at me? It’s not like I’m going to go save them.

　　—What, do they think I’m going to protect these people? Please, I am not that saintly.

　　She kept her gaze steady and continued fiddling with Xie Yuanxun’s fingers, as if she could play with them forever and never get bored.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s eyes turned ice cold. “Did my words not come through clearly? Do you want me to repeat myself?”

　　Shen Kangzheng and the others were soon dragged away, their faces ashen. Before being taken out, he kept looking toward Shen Ling, silently begging for help.

　　Shen Ling pressed a hand to her chest and weakly collapsed into Xie Yuanxun’s arms.

　　“Your Majesty, I’m so scared.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “If you’re scared, hold me tighter.”    

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—You’re making it impossible for me to keep pretending I’m scared.

　　She tried to continue acting delicate and fragile, but the moment she opened her mouth, a wave of nausea hit her instead.

　　“Ugh…”

　　Xie Yuanxun froze for a moment, then immediately barked, “Hurry up and take them away! My Bao Fei is getting sick just looking at them!”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—Your mom!

　　—I’m not throwing up!! I’m just disgusted by the smell of blood!!!

　　—Wait, there isn’t even any blood left in the hall. It’s already been cleaned up. Then why am I still feeling nauseous?

　　The nausea refused to go away.

　　“Ugh…”

　　Seeing her like that, Xie Yuanxun asked, “What exactly did you eat behind my back?”

　　She raised her hand, about to hit him.

　　—I’ve been right under your nose the whole time. What could I possibly be eating behind your back? And honestly, whatever I eat, you probably know it better than I do.

　　Xie Yuanxun lifted Shen Ling in his arms and carried her out of the hall. Among the crowd, someone suddenly thought of her condition and blurted out, “Could it be that Her Grace is pregnant?”

　　At that instant, everyone imagined a miniature “Xie Yuanxun version two,” not only looking exactly like him but also inheriting his way of doing things. A wave of chills instantly ran down their spines.

　　“Cough, cough…”

　　“The imperial physician hasn’t even checked her pulse yet. How can you just assume she’s pregnant?”

　　“Maybe Her Grace just has an upset stomach.”

　　“Ha, that’s true. How could it be such a coincidence?”

　　“But what if she really is pregnant… mmph!”

　　“Quick, cover his mouth!”

　　In the Taiji Hall, Xie Yuanxun stared at Shen Ling with full vigilance, like he was ready for anything. Shen Ling, on the other hand, couldn’t even move freely.

　　“I’m not feeling like throwing up anymore,” she said.

　　—So stop staring at me like that already.

　　Xie Yuanxun said flatly, “No. Wait until the imperial physician arrives first.”

　　Trying to break the tension, Shen Ling casually asked, “Do you think I might be pregnant?”

　　Xie Yuanxun placed his hand on her stomach. “You mean there’s a child under this… slightly chubby belly?”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—Get lost! Who are you calling chubby?!

　　Her face turned red as she protested, “I just ate too much, that’s why my stomach is bloated. Once it digests, my waist will go back to being nice and slim again.”    

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Is that so? Alright then, whatever you say.”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—Your response is way too half-hearted. Seriously, how little confidence do you have in me?!

　　—I said I have a slim waist and I’m not making things up!

　　—Hmph. Just wait until you’re over forty. Let’s see what your stomach looks like then.

　　She refused to believe Xie Yuanxun could escape the so-called “men over forty beer belly curse.”

　　Xie Yuanxun held her in his arms. “How about I issue an imperial decree and make you Empress?”

　　Shen Ling didn’t feel touched at all. Instead, she said with a dark face, “I’m perfectly fine. I’m not critically ill, and I’m not dying, Your Majesty.”

　　—Can you please stop making it sound like I’m about to die?!

　　Xie Yuanxun chuckled. “Where did your thoughts go?”

　　“I just suddenly realized I haven’t formally promoted you in a long time. And since you’re not the Empress yet, I figured I might as well make you one.”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—Honestly, I kind of forgot about that too.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “The Shen family will be exterminated this time. But the Shen family is the Shen family, and you are you. I don’t want anyone to look down on you, even if those people are short-sighted. I still don’t like it.”

　　Shen Ling’s eyes welled up with tears. “Your Majesty…”

　　—Ouch! I pinched my thigh so hard it hurts, sob sob!

　　—But in a moment this touching, if I don’t cry a little, I’d be letting down all his effort.

　　Xie Yuanxun buried his face against her neck and let out a soft laugh. Then he placed a hand on the leg she had just been pinching and gave it a light squeeze.

　　“Come on, cry louder. Let me hear it.”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—Give me back my emotions!!

　　Shen Ling, furious, flailed her hands and started smacking Xie Yuanxun. What was he pinching for? Did he really think her leg didn’t hurt?

　　Seeing that he had pushed her too far, Xie Yuanxun tried to soothe her. “Then how about you pinch me back?”

　　Shen Ling snapped, “You think I didn’t? I did! But your body is so solid I can’t even pinch it!”

　　—My fingers are literally shaking from how hard I tried, okay!

　　Xie Yuanxun laughed out loud. “Who told you to be so soft?”

　　Shen Ling: “Tch!”

　　Very soon, the Chief Physician arrived, led in by Liu Zhu.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Check whether she just ate too much.”

　　Shen Ling immediately stepped hard on his foot.

　　—Say one more word about me overeating and I’ll stomp your foot until it’s broken into a thousand pieces!

　　The Chief Physician pretended not to notice the little exchanges between Shen Ling and Xie Yuanxun. He respectfully placed the silk cloth on her wrist and began taking her pulse.

　　A few seconds later, he let out a soft “hmm?”

　　Shen Ling instantly felt a chill run down her spine.

　　Wait… she wasn’t actually sick or anything, right?

　　Under her anxious stare, the physician finally finished checking her pulse.

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “How is the Empress?”

　　—Who’s the Empress? Oh right, that’s me. Wait, I almost thought he was talking about someone else.

　　The physician was sharp as ever. Picking up on Xie Yuanxun’s wording, he immediately replied, “Reporting to Your Majesty, the Empress is with child. This official confirms a slippery pulse indicating over a month of pregnancy.”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s expression twisted for a split second. “With child?”

　　Shen Ling herself was also completely stunned by the news. She was pregnant? Just like that?

　　Then she looked at Xie Yuanxun’s face and asked in a surprisingly calm tone, “What’s with that expression?”

　　—Why do you look even more shocked than I am?

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Should I look happy?”

　　Shen Ling replied, “Hehe.”

　　Xie Yuanxun had never really cared about having heirs. If he did, the palace wouldn’t have gone all these years without a single child. But now that he had actually heard that Shen Ling was carrying his child, even though his face remained calm, his mind was completely blank. For once, he had no idea what to say or what to do. It was the first time he truly felt at a loss.

　　Shen Ling wasn’t doing much better either. Before she was pregnant, she always felt like she was still a child herself. But now that she actually was pregnant, her emotions kept shifting.

　　First it was, “Did they misdiagnose? Am I really pregnant? Really? Really really really?”

　　Then it turned into, “Oh no, I’m so nervous, I’m going to be a mother!”

　　And by the end, it somehow became, “Having a baby… actually doesn’t sound too bad.”    

　　Both of them were lost in their own chaotic thoughts.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Check her pulse again.”

　　Shen Ling looked at the hand he had already held out toward the Chief Physician and fell silent. “……”

　　—If you want another pulse check, fine, but why are you offering your hand? Why?!

　　—If I remember correctly, shouldn’t it be me putting my hand out?!

________________

Glossary:

¹“one-armed Yang Guo” is a cultural reference.

It means:

Shen Jinxiu has lost an arm, so he now looks like Yang Guo from The Return of the Condor Heroes, who also had only one arm for a long part of the story.

So in plain meaning, it’s basically:

👉 “Shen Jinxiu, who had become an armless man”

or

👉 “Shen Jinxiu, now missing one arm like a one-armed swordsman”

But the original uses “one-armed Yang Guo” to add a slightly sarcastic, pop-culture vibe, like the narrator is joking about his tragic state in a witty way.

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