My Darling, Coax Me.

CHAPTER 101: Xiao Qibai x Xie Jinjia 7 - Postscript.

　　On Xiao Jinyue's tenth birthday, Old Madam Xiao held a grand birthday banquet for her. 

　　Given the Xiao family's current status, prominent families from all over the Capital attended, bringing mountains of gifts, including jewelry and ornaments. 

　　The Empress, along with the young Princess and Crown Prince, personally attended. A Xiao family girl's birthday celebration was perhaps the most grand and prestigious event in the Capital. 

　　Gifts filled a whole room, but Xiao Jinyue, sitting in the room, didn't seem very happy. She propped up her chin, silent, her long eyelashes drooping, looking quite forlorn. 

　　The door creaked open, pushed from outside.

　　Xiao Jinyue turned her head, her eyes instantly brightening. She ran to Xiao Qibai, tugging at his sleeve, like a baby bird learning to speak, “Father, Father, Father…” 

　　Then, looking up expectantly, “When will Mother come?” 

　　Last year, on her ninth birthday, her mother had promised to visit her at the Xiao residence for her tenth birthday. 

　　Not to take her away, but to come to the Xiao residence to see her. 

　　Xiao Jinyue was overjoyed. If her mother came to the Xiao residence, her father could also see her mother. 

　　She didn't understand why everyone else's parents could be together, but hers could never meet. 

　　Her mother and father had clearly missed each other for so many years.

　　She didn't want this; she wanted her parents to be together. 

　　Xiao Jinyue had asked the Crown Prince and Princess, and Xie Muyun couldn't explain it either, but the Crown Prince knew something. 

　　Back then, his uncle chose to poison Yu Fei, and it didn't involve his aunt. 

　　It was just that, because of the revenge for her mother's death, his aunt couldn't let go. 

　　Xie Muyun pouted, a little puzzled, “But even if Uncle didn't kill her, Yu Fei would have still died.” 

　　And she deserved to die. 

　　The three children were too young to understand the helplessness and pain involved.

　　Xiao Jinyue didn't understand any of this; she only hoped that her parents would be well. 

　　“Mother said she would come today to celebrate my birthday,” Xiao Jinyue said, clutching Xiao Qibai's sleeve tightly. 

　　Xiao Qibai gently stroked his daughter's head, silent for a moment before saying, “Your mother will definitely come.”

    ——

　　In the peaceful mountain temple. 

　　Before the Buddha, a young woman in simple gray-blue robes knelt, eyes closed, devoutly chanting scriptures. 

　　Unknowingly, time slipped away. The sun set, casting brilliant hues of twilight into the temple. 

　　Jìngyún shītai slowly entered, sighing softly, “It's getting late, Jìngkōng.” 

　　If she didn't go down the mountain soon, she would be too late. 

　　The young woman slowly opened her eyes. 

　　Today was her daughter's tenth birthday, and she had promised to personally go to the Xiao residence to celebrate. 

　　Xie Jinjia slowly stood up, picked up the scriptures she had personally copied, and bowed to Jìngyún shītai. “Master, this disciple will go down the mountain now.” 

　　Xie Jinjia walked towards the door.

　　Jìngyún shītai watched her thin frame and silently shook her head. Ten years had passed swiftly in the mountains. 

　　But Jìngkōng hadn't let go. 

　　“Yu Fei, was planning for you until her death. She willingly drank that poisoned wine. If you don't live well, that's the greatest punishment for her. Since the grievances of the previous generation have been settled,” Jìngyún shītai sighed, “Child, why do you torment yourself like this?” 

　　Xie Jinjia paused, her steps faltering. 

　　A mountain breeze brushed her cheeks. Xie Jinjia remained silent, continuing to walk forward.

    ——

　　When Xie Jinjia arrived at the Xiao residence, the lively birthday banquet had already dispersed. The guests had all left, and the house had returned to its usual quietude. 

　　Perhaps they knew she was coming, for even the servants had withdrawn, leaving her undisturbed. 

　　Seeing her, her daughter flew towards her like a happy bird. 

　　“Mother, Mother!” Xiao Jinyue hugged her tightly. “Mother, I've waited for you!” 

　　As she spoke, a tear dropped. 

　　Her daughter truly had her temperament—always prone to tears.

　　Xie Jinjia lovingly touched her daughter's soft cheek, unwillingly memorizing every detail of her features. 

　　Her daughter was already ten years old, but she had seen her so few times and had never been able to properly accompany her. 

　　This child, without a mother by her side since birth, was more pitiful than others. 

　　“Mother, Mother. Will you come back to my room with me?” her daughter asked expectantly, tugging at her hand. 

　　“Mother has to go back,” Xie Jinjia said, handing her the scroll of scriptures. 

　　“No!” Xiao Jinyue immediately panicked, desperately clutching her hand to prevent her from leaving, tears streaming down her face. “Mother promised to come and celebrate my birthday with me, but my birthday isn't over yet. Why do you have to go back...?” 

　　“I don't want you to go!”

　　Tears streamed down her little face, making her look utterly pitiful. Today was her birthday; she should have been happily celebrating. 

　　Xie Jinjia wiped away her daughter's tears and followed her into the room. 

　　Xiao Jinyue's room was piled high with gifts and many curious little trinkets, showing that Xiao Qibai had taken excellent care of her. 

　　Xiao Jinyue happily pulled Xie Jinjia to look around her room, showing off her treasures, taking out many precious boxes from the cupboard. 

　　“Mother, look, this is Father's gift for my first birthday.” 

　　Xie Jinjia took it; it was a small gold lock with the words “Jinyue” hand-carved by her father. 

　　Xiao Jinyue took out another box. “This is Father's gift for my second birthday.”

　　Each year's birthday gift was carefully selected and prepared by Xiao Qibai. 

　　Because Xiao Jinyue didn't have a mother, Xiao Qibai used double the love to accompany his daughter's growth, hoping to heal the wounds in her heart. 

　　He had indeed raised Xiao Jinyue well; she was well-educated, intelligent, and lovely. 

　　In addition to Xiao Qibai's gifts, Xiao Jinyue shared with Xie Jinjia the birthday presents from her cousins. 

　　They weren't the jewelry and ornaments exchanged between adults, but two small flower vases they had personally made in a kiln. 

　　They weren't very pretty, perhaps even a little oddly shaped, but gifts between children always hold a special kind of preciousness.

　　The three children always played together. It can be regarded as a companion for Xiao Jinyue, so she won't be so lonely. 

　　The names were written on the vases: Xie Zhiyu, Xie Muyun. 

　　They were Ah Ling's two children. 

　　Yet, she had never seen them since they were born. They must be very lively and cute, Xie Jinjia thought, her fingertips tracing their names. 

　　Xiao Jinyue seemed tireless, with endless things to say. 

　　She seemed to want to share all the joy and happiness in her life with her mother, to reassure her. 

　　Finally, she carefully put all the gifts away in the left-hand cupboard. 

　　Xiao Jinyue opened the right-hand cupboard, where ten boxes were neatly stacked. 

　　Xie Jinjia asked, “Who gave you these?”

　　Unexpectedly, Xiao Jinyue shook her head. “These aren't mine; these are Father's birthday gifts for Mother.” 

　　“Every year, Father prepares birthday gifts for Mother,” she added, though they could never be delivered. 

　　Xie Jinjia froze, staring at the ten neatly arranged boxes, speechless for a long time. 

　　The moon hung high in the branches; it was very late. 

　　Xiao Jinyue was already sleepy, but afraid that her mother would leave if she fell asleep, she stubbornly held on, refusing to sleep. She wanted to sit with Xie Jinjia, tightly holding her arm. 

　　But she was still young, and couldn't fight off sleepiness no matter how hard she tried. After a short while, her little head rested on Xie Jinjia's shoulder.

　　She mumbled in her sleep, ‘No, don't leave, Mother…” 

　　“Why can everyone else be with their mother, but not me...?” 

　　“Wuwu, they say Jinyue doesn't have a mother…” 

　　Xie Jinjia touched her daughter's soft cheek, her heart aching, feeling a sharp pang of sadness, as if her heart were being squeezed. 

　　After Xiao Jinyue fell completely asleep, Xie Jinjia gently placed her in bed. 

　　The gift boxes in the cupboard had spilled over, with several having fallen out. Xie Jinjia walked over to pick up the scattered gifts and neatly rearrange them. Her gaze fell upon the ten neatly arranged boxes on the right, and her daughter's words echoed in her ears again: 

　　“Father prepares birthday gifts for Mother every year. Father says Mother is still young and loves receiving gifts on her birthday.”

　　“Jinyue knows Father really misses Mother. But Mother doesn't see Father…” 

　　Xie Jinjia opened the boxes. Each box was inscribed: To My Wife. From her nineteenth to her twenty-ninth birthday. 

　　Xie Jinjia put the boxes back, closed the cupboard, and covered her face, tears streaming down. 

　　She knew. 

　　Of course she knew. Every year since she married him, he had prepared birthday gifts for her. 

　　In fact, he had also prepared a coming-of-age gift for her that year—an exquisite jade hairpin—but he only gave it to her after their wedding. 

　　He did nothing wrong in protecting her. It was she who couldn't let go, she who was afraid of burdening him again.

　　Xiao Jinyue was fast asleep. Xie Jinjia tucked her daughter in, leaned down to kiss her soft cheek, and then left the room. 

　　The courtyard outside was quiet, undisturbed. 

　　The moon hung in the night sky, casting a thin, hazy moonlight, ethereal and dreamlike. 

　　Only a lingering trace of elegance remained. 

　　Xie Jinjia squeezed her eyes shut, then turned and left.

    ……

　　Life of quiet cultivation in the mountains was arduous, but Xie Jinjia had grown accustomed to it. She woke before dawn to fetch water and chop wood, meditating and chanting scriptures. 

　　Day after day. 

　　Jìngyún shītai said her heart was restless, her mind unquiet, that the dharma name Jìngkōng (Quiet Sky) was wasted on her. Xie Jinjia knew this, but what could she do? 

　　“You can't see through it, can't let go, imprisoned by your own heart,” Jìngyún shītai told her. “Go down the mountain and take a look. See the myriad forms of this world, the impermanence of life.” 

　　Xie Jinjia went down the mountain. 

　　She traveled to many places, visiting Qingzhou and Jinzhou, witnessing the abundance of the fertile lands. 

　　She saw fishermen who went out to sea before dawn to make a living, beggars fighting over a bowl of charity porridge, and wealthy merchants, arrogant and extravagant, squandering their wealth.

　　She witnessed neighbors moving away, friends and relatives bidding farewell with reluctance and longing. Within days, new neighbors moved in, and the traces of the past gradually faded. 

　　She saw the death of the elderly, their descendants grieving inconsolably, hundreds weeping at the funeral. 

　　Even onlookers felt a deep sadness. But after the paper money scattered in the wind, everyone returned to their own lives. 

　　Yet, while seemingly without trace, the memories lingered in their hearts. 

　　Letters occasionally arrived from friends who had moved away; gifts exchanged remained in their homes. 

　　Descendants offered incense to their deceased ancestors every year, praying for their blessings.

　　These were the ordinary lives of ordinary people—joy, anger, sorrow, and happiness, bustling activity and quiet solitude—nothing extraordinary. 

　　Everyone has their own life to live; dwelling on the past is meaningless. Life is not simply black and white. The world changes, life is fleeting, how insignificant we are. 

　　Seeing the world, one sees all beings. 

　　Seeing all beings, one sees oneself. 

　　Xie Jinjia returned to Guanyun Temple the following year; she wanted to be back for her daughter's birthday. 

　　This year, Xiao Jinyue's birthday was still the same as always. Xiao Qibai sent Xiao Jinyue to the foot of the mountain. 

　　As soon as Xie Jinjia entered, her daughter happily threw herself into her arms, chattering excitedly, “Mother, Jinyue missed you so much!”

　　Then, clutching her hand, tears suddenly fell, “Wuwu, they say Mother went traveling and won't come back. Jinyue is so scared, afraid Mother doesn't want Jinyue anymore, doesn't want Father anymore.” 

　　Xiao Jinyue, at such a young age, was more sensitive than other children her age. 

　　When she was Jinyue's age, Xie Jinjia seemed to care only about food, drink, and play. 

　　“No,” Xie Jinjia touched her daughter's face, gently wiping away her tears, saying firmly, “Mother will never abandon Jinyue.” 

　　But her daughter's tears flowed even more fiercely, soaking her clothes. She choked out, “Then Father? Mother really doesn't want Father anymore?” 

　　“Jinyue didn't have a mother by her side from the moment she was born. Father has been without a mother for as long as Jinyue has been without one.”

　　Xiao Jinyue, still young, cried herself to sleep in Xie Jinjia's arms. 

　　Xie Jinjia gently placed her child on the bed and went outside. 

　　In front of the door stood a large, lush banyan tree, casting a cool shade. 

　　Xie Jinjia walked towards it and saw a figure standing behind the tree. 

　　Eleven years had passed, and his back was still as elegant and upright as ever, but a little thinner. 

　　The breeze stirred his hair, revealing a few strands of silver in his otherwise inky black locks.

　　Xie Jinjia stood behind him, her tear-reddened eyes tightly closed. 

　　“Xiao Qibai, will you wait for me again?” 

　　The mountain wind seemed to still. 

　　Xiao Qibai stiffened, then slowly turned around, looking at her. His voice, as gentle as ever, replied, “Yes.” 

　　“Jinjia, I will always wait for you.” 

　　The wind picked up again, rustling the leaves.

　　A sense of warmth and peace seemed to fill the air.

________________

T/N: Ugh, this extra chapter makes me so uncomfortable... so sad. It's a helpless situation for both of them. If I were in their shoes, I wouldn't know what to do either. Torn between my beloved mother and my beloved husband, I'd be stuck in the middle. I truly hope that last sentence means that at least she will try to accept him back. To be honest, I feel a little angry with Xie Jue... I mean, I know he's not wrong given what happened to him and his mother. But, but... I still feel uncomfortable and am looking for someone to blame. 😅

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