Dating Show Side Character, Getting Rich by Roasting People

CHAPTER 23: It’s Not Her Fault, It’s Mine.

　　Lin Zirun: “?”

　　Wait a second, he was asking Chu Ling. What’s it got to do with Sheng Yi?

　　Chu Ling hadn’t even spoken yet, and he's already jumping in?

　　“Yeah, the 4:30 a.m. invitation.” Chu Ling had no intention of letting him spin this into some “my feelings were hurt” act. She cut straight to the point. “Who do you think would be interested? A senior cramming for exams?”

　　She tilted her head. “Or are you still stuck in your around-the-world time zone and think you’re living in GMT-5?”

　　Lin Zirun: “……”

　　Never mind, Chu Ling should just stop talking.

　　Sheng Yi, however, found it hilarious. His smile widened as he looked at Lin Zirun like he was an idiot. “Bro, are you inviting her to watch the sunrise and sunset, or to admire the brightest star in the night sky?”

　　【WTF, 4:30 in the morning? I’ve practically moved into Chu Ling’s livestream and I never saw this part.】

　　【Insane. If you want to watch the sunrise, at least invite her the day before.】

　　【Long time no see, Literary Male Lead No. 2. Still the same old ‘I’m deep and profound, the rest of you can die’ act.】

　　【If it were another female guest, maybe they’d put up with it… good thing it’s Chu Ling. She never lets this slide, hahaha.】

　　Lin Zirun’s face was starting to stiffen.

　　If it were only Chu Ling roasting him, fine, that was just her style.

　　But the new guy actually backed her up, mocking him in perfect sync, like they were doing a comedy duo.

　　He swallowed it down and decided to retreat in order to advance. “Sorry, I admit it really was a last-minute idea. When I woke up this morning and looked out at the endless night sky, the first person I thought of was you. I imagined watching a sunrise and sunset over the sea together would be so romantic, so that’s why I came to invite you.”

　　He spread his hands. “Probably because I’m a ¹P type. That’s just how we are. Same as when I decided to quit my job without a backup. People who don’t get it think I’m crazy, but I know if there’s something I want to do, I have to do it right away. If you miss the timing, it’s gone. I thought maybe we’d be on the same wavelength—”

　　Chu Ling: “P type?”

　　“MBTI.”

　　Lin Zirun had already guessed Chu Ling wouldn’t know. With a faint air of superiority, he explained, “Oh, you’ve never taken the test, right? It’s a personality assessment—”

　　“I know.”

　　Chu Ling cut him off, then laughed. “But personality isn’t supposed to be an excuse to get away with your own crap, is it?”

　　Sure, he could act on a whim if he wanted, do whatever.

　　But knocking on the door of a girl he barely knew at 4:30 a.m. and dragging her out of bed—if that isn’t insane, what is?

　　“For the sake of your so-called romance, you disturbed someone else, even inconvenienced them. That’s not P type. That’s J—”

Chu Ling deliberately swallowed the last syllables, smiling sweetly. “Type.”

　　【J type? Why’d she say J type?】

　　【You guys really don’t get it? Chu Ling meant jerk, hahaha.】

　　【She even censored herself mid-word. Why is that so funny.】

　　【Don’t lump us P types in with this. None of us would knock on a stranger’s door at 4:30 a.m. This is just plain rude.】

　　【But wasn’t Chu Ling calling him names kind of rude too?】

　　【So what? With her temper, the fact she didn’t throw him overboard is already merciful. Cursing him out is nothing. You weren’t the one woken up at 4:30.】

　　【Exactly. Honestly this is satisfying. I hate it when people use MBTI as a persona just to excuse themselves.】

　　At first, Lin Zirun didn’t even get it.

　　Not until Sheng Yi walked up, patted him on the shoulder, and whispered two words in his ear. Then it clicked, and his face darkened even more. He left in a hurry, not even bothering to watch the sunset.

　　Sheng Yi watched his back and chuckled. “He looks pretty upset.”

　　“You think I went too far?”

　　Chu Ling crossed her arms and snorted. “If you feel the need to explain everything to him, you’re not exactly innocent either. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss.”

　　Sheng Yi looked a bit innocent. “Still, we should at least sort out who’s the mastermind and who’s the accomplice, right?”

　　Chu Ling froze. It sounded like they were co-conspirators. She clearly thought of herself as the righteous type.

　　“I haven’t even mentioned that he stole my line earlier!” Chu Ling complained to the system. “Does he just like my persona so much that he wants to copy it?”

　　The system replied, “…Are you sure your persona is good enough to be worth copying?”

　　Chu Ling thought for a moment. “Fair point.”

　　Normal people wouldn’t bother linking themselves to this kind of crazy money-making system. She thought again. “Wait, he’s worse. I’m trying to make money, he's just being mean.”

　　The system stayed silent.

　　Seriously, what can a naturally gifted player like you say about anyone? You weren’t exactly mild-mannered before linking the system.

　　In the blink of an eye, the sun had sunk into the sea. The afterglow vanished and the sky went dark.

　　“Let’s go.”

　　Sheng Yi smiled at her. “Dreams won’t fill your stomach, so it’s time to go eat some real food.”

　　—

　　Tonight’s dinner was their last meal on the cruise.

　　The moment they walked into Restaurant X, the guests gasped in surprise.

　　“The last meal looks extra fancy,” someone said.

　　Jiang Yicheng added, “So much seafood! Is this some special treat from the production team?”

　　“I had it prepared.” 

　　Qin Shuo said calmly. “I happened to have some free time this afternoon. I heard the seafood here is great, so I talked to the chef. We're having a seafood feast tonight. I've also prepared a few dishes myself. I hope they'll suit everyone's taste.”

　　【Oh my god, Qin Shuo is cooking again. He’s so nice!】

　　【Poor Teacher Qin, who doesn’t even have a date, is just working silently in the kitchen.】

　　“.....” 

　　Meanwhile, all the guests couldn’t help but remember the fear they felt when he made that braised beef before.

　　Tonight’s main course was a seafood feast, and one of the star dishes was king crab.

　　King crab meat is delicious, but the shell is really hard to crack. Even with the tools provided by the production team, most guests struggled to get the meat out.

　　Wen Shu wasn’t very skilled with king crab either. She tugged and snipped with scissors for a long time, finally getting a few pieces out, but they were scattered and uneven.

　　Qin Shuo was clearly waiting for this moment. Rolling up his sleeves, he offered, “Do you want me to help?”

　　Wen Shu paused for a moment. Chu Ling’s words from earlier had obviously stuck with her. She shook her head and, for once, refused politely, “I’ve got it myself.”

　　Qin Shuo: “….”

　　He hadn’t expected her to refuse even something as simple as cracking a shell.

　　He didn’t give up and said, “From the way you’re struggling, it looks like you haven’t eaten king crab before. Let me do it. First-timers always have trouble with it, so just leave it to me.”

　　On the livestream, the Qin-Wen CP fans, who had been quiet all day, instantly revived.

　　【So sweet ahhh!】

　　【Qin Shuo is way too thoughtful 5555】

　　【I want a boyfriend like this too!!】

　　If he were really being thoughtful, he should’ve had the chef handle it earlier in the afternoon. Leaving it until now is clearly just to show off for the cameras. He’s been waiting for this moment.

　　Chu Ling rolled her eyes in her mind, then spoke the next second: “There are other people here who haven’t eaten it either. Since you’re so good at this, Teacher Qin, can you help us too?”

　　She crossed her hands under her chin, smiling sweetly to compliment him, “I can tell you enjoy helping others anyway.”

　　Qin Shuo: “….”

　　“Even me, I really haven’t tried it before,” Sheng Yi said, still wrestling with a crab leg. He immediately raised his hand, “Teacher Qin, since you’re so experienced, could you also help us newbies?”

　　With the two of them leading, the rest of the guests all looked to Qin Shuo.

　　Qin Shuo: “….”

　　One Chu Ling alone was already troublesome, and now there’s Sheng Yi too. They each stood on one side, cornering him.

　　And he had to maintain his gentlemanly image, so he couldn’t lose his temper.

　　Qin Shuo had no choice but to give up cracking the crab just for Wen Shu and said, “Fine, I’ll demonstrate for everyone. After this, you’ll know how.”

　　He stayed calm, showing everyone how to do it. After finishing, he quietly placed the crab meat he’d extracted in front of Wen Shu.

　　Wen Shu didn’t even take it, instead turning to Chu Ling: “I’m already almost full. Do you want it?”

　　Chu Ling, of course, wouldn’t miss out: “Thanks. I knew Wen Shu would always be the nicest to me.”

　　Qin Shuo: “….”

　　So these three are taking turns to irritate him, huh?　　

　　—

　　That night, after the cruise ended, the ship docked and the guests returned to the villa to rest.

　　After Lu Shixuan left the show, his single room naturally became available, so Sheng Yi, who had just joined, moved in. He decided not to turn on the room cameras for now.

　　There was no signal on the ship, but once ashore he could finally get in touch. He started a video call.

　　The call connected quickly, and the screen was filled with three guys about his age.

　　Leaning against the bed, Sheng Yi relaxed completely and asked casually, “So, how’s it going?”

　　The three of them immediately yelled back, “Shouldn’t we be asking you that? How was your first time on a dating show?”

　　They were his three bandmates—the bassist, the keyboardist, and the drummer.

　　“Experience? Can’t really say. I was just here to complete a task,” Sheng Yi replied. “How do you think I did?”

　　All three answered almost in unison, “Terrible!”

　　The bassist criticized coldly, “We know you were trying to promote our work, but was your song performance too obvious? It felt like a sudden commercial break. Do you really think anyone’s buying it?”

　　The keyboardist spoke fast, firing off, “Also, aren’t you terrible at dating? Weren’t you supposed to compete with Qin Shuo for that fourth female guest? Why haven’t you given us any sparks or moments to fangirl over? No CP fans means no popularity, no popularity means no fame, got it?”

　　The bassist rolled his eyes. “Come on, think about it. If he actually knew how to date, do you think he’d still be single?”

　　“Oh, that's right.” 

　　The keyboardist sighed, “You’re so busy spouting nonsense that you’ve forgotten about love. With a personality like yours, you’ll be kicked off the dating show in no time.”

　　“Hey!”

　　Sheng Yi said unhappily, “I joined this show for the whole band, so can you at least root for me a little?”

　　The keyboardist let out a few mean-spirited chuckles. “No way. Who asked the show to make your persona totally different from who you really are? Honestly, it was only a matter of time before people figured you out.”

　　The show had originally positioned Sheng Yi as the cheerful little puppy who bravely goes after love.

　　In reality, only he and his friends knew that wasn’t him at all. He wasn’t sunny in the slightest. Most of the time he stayed cold and detached, and didn’t care about things that had nothing to do with him. Occasionally, his sharp-tongued personality would show, and anyone fooled by his youthful handsome looks would easily get frustrated or even cry after getting to know him.

　　The band members all had similar personalities, and their daily banter had become a habit, so no one took it personally.

　　“By the way, shouldn’t you stay away from that female celebrity?”

　　The relatively calm drummer thought for a moment before saying, “I’ve read online that she has a death list. Anyone she’s gone after hasn’t ended well.”

　　Sheng Yi said nonchalantly, “It's not like I have any black material.”

　　“Really?”

　　“But you didn't go on the dating show just to be in a relationship. What if she finds out? You think she’ll just let you be?”

　　Earlier, she had joked that Sheng Yi joined the show just to promote his music—and it turned out to be true.

　　Even though the live comments laughed it off, the band almost broke into a cold sweat while watching. With her kind of insight, it wasn’t impossible for her to figure out that Sheng Yi’s real goal on the dating show was to try to make his struggling band popular all on his own—and then use it to jinx him.

　　The show had scripted him to fall for Wen Shu at first sight and compete with the Film Emperor. If anyone found out the whole thing was just a setup to boost his popularity, the audience would definitely roast him.

　　After the three of them finished talking, they noticed Sheng Yi seemed to be spacing out, lost in thought somewhere.

　　“Hey!”

　　“—Yeah, I know. I'll try my best to hide it.”

　　He paused for a moment, then casually added, “But… if it really gets found out, it’s not her fault, right? It’s mine.”

________________

Glossary:

¹In MBTI, the P type means Perceiving (as opposed to Judging, J).

👉 Perceiving types (P) are usually:

More spontaneous, flexible, and adaptable.

Prefer going with the flow rather than sticking to rigid plans.

Like to keep their options open.

Often seen as curious, playful, and adaptable, but sometimes a little scattered.　　

　　 

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