Dating Show Side Character, Getting Rich by Roasting People

CHAPTER 51: A Perfectly Matched Date

　　【The Zhou-Chu couple is just too addictive!】

　　【Zhou Yu’s such a straight shooter. Chu Ling, hurry up and turn around to notice this little puppy already!】

　　【A fierce queen deserves a loyal dog by her side!】

　　At that moment, Zhou Yu was secretly hyping himself up using a small side account, stirring the comments and nudging the audience toward shipping the Zhou-Chu CP.

　　Before joining the show, he’d already noticed that Chu Ling’s reputation wasn’t as terrible as it had been at the start.

　　Back when the program first aired, she was, without question, the most hated guest.

　　But after she repeatedly called out scumbags on behalf of netizens, the tide had begun to shift. Sure, there were still die-hard fans attacking her, blind to reason, but most people had started to lean toward her side.

　　They might insist they weren’t her fans, yet the soaring popularity of her solo livestreams told a different story.

　　On this show, there was simply no better person to ride the wave with.

　　When the production team invited him to step in as the replacement guest, Zhou Yu had already made up his mind.

　　He came in with ambition.

　　With his looks, he was confident he could at least make it as a small internet celebrity.

　　But the current self-media traffic was brutal, and without it, there was no chance to rise. He urgently needed attention.

　　Pairing up with Chu Ling was the perfect strategy.

　　She was the undisputed queen of buzz right now. If he could connect himself to her, either way he’d come out ahead.

　　If their CP actually caught fire, he’d enjoy a massive surge of popularity.

　　If she rejected him, he could spin it into a tragic, one-sided crush.

　　And in the worst case, even if Chu Ling roasted him on-air, well… infamy was still fame.

　　Of course, there were risks.

　　Chu Ling’s tongue was razor-sharp, and she was terrifyingly observant. Most people she tore into ended up with their image collapsing not long after. That was why she’d earned the nicknames “Death Prophet” and “Scumbag Exposer.”

　　But Zhou Yu had studied her past episodes carefully. He realized Chu Ling mainly despised people who tried too hard to show off. Most of the guests who crashed and burned did so because they were fake.

　　Judging by her reaction to him so far, his current approach didn’t seem to annoy her all that much.

　　That gave Zhou Yu confidence.

　　If he kept at it, he just might succeed.

　　—

　　The next morning, Zhou Yu once again prepared breakfast for Chu Ling.

　　But just as she had warned the day before, she woke up late. So late, in fact, that Zhou Yu ended up waiting for over two hours. By then, the carefully prepared breakfast had already gone cold.

　　He was just starting to feel impatient, muttering curses about her in his heart, when Chu Ling finally came downstairs.

　　“Jiejie, you’re here,” Zhou Yu greeted at once. He quickly smoothed over his irritation, lifting a smile. “Breakfast’s been sitting a while, so it’s gone cold. I’ll heat it up for you.”

　　【He’s so earnest I’m honestly touched!】

　　【That’s what young love looks like—fearless and straightforward!】

　　【He waited this long? Chu Ling’s being way too rude, waking up so late!】

　　【But she did say yesterday not to bother making her breakfast.Isn't this a matter of mutual consent?】

　　“……”

　　Chu Ling had deliberately slept in, hoping he would give up.

　　She hadn’t expected Zhou Yu to actually wait for her for two whole hours.

　　Walking over to the table, Chu Ling pulled out a chair and sat down. “Isn’t this a little too much trouble for you?”

　　“It’s not trouble at all,” Zhou Yu replied with a smile. “I joined the show so late, so I need to do more than the others if I want to touch Jiejie’s heart.”

　　Chu Ling: At this point, she didn’t even dare move.

　　“Do more… as in breakfast?” She paused, then gave him a small laugh. “Don’t you think you’re aiming in the wrong direction? Do I look like someone who can be won over with just a meal?”

　　Lin Zirun, who was also in the kitchen, shot Zhou Yu a sympathetic glance.

　　He didn’t know whether Zhou Yu’s feelings for Chu Ling were real or if he was only after her traffic, but Lin Zirun had once naïvely tried to win her over too. The result? He was roasted so badly he wanted to crawl into a hole.

　　The warning “treasure your life, stay away from Chu Ling” wasn’t a joke.

　　Young men really did have too much courage.

　　“……”

　　Zhou Yu’s expression stiffened for a moment, but he quickly shifted into a look of deep affection.

　　“Breakfast is only the beginning. Of course I’ll find other ways to show Jiejie my sincerity.”

　　She’d seen it. She’d seen everything.

　　Glancing at the backstage monitor, Chu Ling could clearly see the mood tracker. The long wait earlier and the moment she shot him down had both triggered negative spikes, his frustration plain as day.

　　While it wasn’t impossible that, like Sheng Yi, his negative emotions came from other factors, Chu Ling still suspected that his apparent attentiveness was mostly an act.

　　Just as she thought.

　　Not that she was disappointed.

　　Since he had provided breakfast, she accepted it without fuss.

　　As long as it wasn’t poisoned, why not eat for free? As for what came after, she would take things one step at a time.

　　……

　　Once everyone had arrived, the production team announced today’s dating format.

　　“Today’s date will use a compatibility quiz to pair up the guests.”

　　Each guest received a paper questionnaire.

　　“The two male and female guests whose answers overlap the most will be matched together for a free date.”

　　【Wow! That means whoever gets paired will feel like they’re really suited for each other.】

　　【Right, at least it shows they’re on the same wavelength about some things.】

　　【I can’t wait to see which hidden soulmates this show is going to reveal!】

　　【Uh oh, my CP thinks really differently about everything. They’re more of a complementary type. I’m worried they won’t get matched…】

　　Chu Ling glanced over the questionnaire after receiving it.

　　The questions themselves seemed fine, but the options left her dissatisfied.

　　For example, one asked whether she would rather choose someone she liked or someone who liked her. The only choices were A or B.

　　Chu Ling thought about it, but couldn’t decide. In the end, she crossed out both options and scribbled beside them: Can’t I find someone I like who also likes me? Why should I pick between two crappy choices? It’s like being told to choose between two piles of garbage.

　　System: “…”

　　Wait, you can do that?

　　After starting off that way, Chu Ling breezed through the rest of the questionnaire.

　　【If the person you like tells you they don’t like you back…】

　　Instead of choosing between “keep pursuing” or “give up immediately,” Chu Ling wrote: Bad taste. I wouldn’t like someone like that anyway. Tell him to scram.

　　【How do you make up after a fight?】

　　The options were “sincerely apologize” or “drop hints until the other side comforts you.” Chu Ling added: I’m never in the wrong. Tell him to scram.

　　By the time she finished, it felt like she had managed to offend the entire world.

　　System: “…”

　　At this point it was seriously doubting whether anyone could possibly match with her. She wasn’t even taking the quiz seriously!

　　“Nonsense,” Chu Ling shot back. “I’m very serious. Everyone else only circled answers. I even wrote comments on mine.”

　　System: “…”

　　That’s because you’re not a normal person!

　　When she reached the final “fun” bonus question, Chu Ling finally behaved a little. For the choice between Pepsi and Coke, she circled Pepsi and turned in her paper.

　　When the production team displayed each guest’s answers on screen, everything was censored to keep the audience guessing.

　　Once all the papers were collected and processed, the staff moved quickly to announce the results.

　　“All right, let’s reveal today’s first compatible pair.”

　　“Congratulations to…”

　　“Chu Ling and Sheng Yi.”

　　【Ahhhhh it’s Overbearing CP! I didn’t see that wrong, did I?!】

　　【This Bully Dog just smelled it and came over. My Overbearing CP is real! This is destiny, finally they get their turn for a one-on-one date!】

　　【Honestly, these two are perfect. No matter who else they pair with, it’ll end in chaos. They might as well torment each other.】

　　【By your blessing, our couple is just that perfect】

　　“Based on their answers, their compatibility score is…”

　　The staff announced, “Twenty.”

　　Chu Ling exchanged a glance with Sheng Yi, then laughed. “Just twenty points and that still counts as a match?”

　　The staff explained, “That’s because both of you ignored the preset options and wrote your own answers instead.”

　　Even though the answers were a mess and hard to look at, the production team decided that this in itself showed a kind of compatibility, so they paired the two together.

　　【…Of course it’s them.】

　　【I was wondering why they both kept scribbling nonstop. Turns out they were writing their own answers.】

　　【Two troublemakers matched up… this flavor is too special. I can’t wait to see how their date turns out.】

　　Following the match, Sheng Yi took the seat next to Chu Ling.

　　She looked at him. “…You wrote your own too?”

　　Sheng Yi spread his hands. “The options were unsatisfying. Isn’t it normal to write new ones? I can’t accept having my voice replaced by rigid choices.”

　　Chu Ling felt the same way. After laughing, she asked, “So, do you actually like Pepsi?”

　　Sheng Yi froze for a second, then chuckled. “That’s the only one I circled.”

　　Chu Ling laughed as well and held out her hand. “What a coincidence. Me too.”

　　They high-fived.

　　Zhou Yu glanced over at Chu Ling, sulking.

　　He had even tried to guess her answers and match his choices to hers, only for her to take a completely unexpected path—leaving Sheng Yi to benefit instead.

　　Once all the pairs were set, the guests could decide on their own where to go for their dates.

　　Chu Ling turned to Sheng Yi. “Is this our first time being drawn for a one-on-one date?”

　　Sheng Yi thought for a moment. “Seems like it.”

　　Every date before had included others tagging along. This really did seem to be their first chance at a private two-person date.

　　For Sheng Yi, being matched with Chu Ling was a genuine surprise.

　　He had filled out the questionnaire casually, unsatisfied with every option, so he wrote his own answers instead. He’d practically given up and expected the production team to assign him randomly.

　　He never imagined that doing so would land him with Chu Ling.

　　How fortunate.

　　Sheng Yi’s lips curved into a smile. “Do you have anywhere in mind?”

　　Chu Ling honestly couldn’t think of a place.

　　This dating show had already cycled through most of the classic date spots.

　　Having been single for so many years, with zero dating experience, she really couldn’t imagine where else a couple could go.

　　So she threw the question back at him. “What about you?”

　　“I haven’t thought of anything either.”

　　Sheng Yi was still mulling it over when Chu Ling suddenly said, “In that case… could you take me to see where you usually work?”

　　“Ah?”

　　Sheng Yi froze for a moment. “Work?”

　　“Mm, yes.”

　　Chu Ling tilted her head. “Aren’t you in a band? I mean, the place where you usually practice or record with your members.”

　　“Why?” Sheng Yi asked.

　　“I just want to see it.”

　　“Is it inconvenient?” she added.

　　It wasn’t inconvenient.

　　Sheng Yi thought about it, then nodded in agreement.

　　But just before they got into the car, he avoided the cameras and quietly asked, “Still, I’d like to know why. So I can be prepared.”

　　What exactly did Chu Ling want to see? His lifestyle, his work, or his friends?

　　Chu Ling gave him a glance and asked in return, “Why did you join this show?”

　　For the sake of…

　　Sheng Yi was caught off guard, then suddenly remembered.

　　To promote their band.

　　He didn’t say it out loud, but Chu Ling could tell he understood. She raised her brows and said, “Exactly.”

　　With the cameras rolling, it was the perfect chance to give him some publicity. Ready-made exposure was free—why not use it?

　　Sheng Yi never expected Chu Ling would think of helping him this way.

　　But this was supposed to be their date…

　　A mix of emotions welled up in his chest.

　　“…..”

　　As Chu Ling bent down to get into the car, he muttered softly, “I thought maybe you were genuinely interested in me.”

　　Chu Ling straightened up. “What did you say?”

　　“Nothing,” Sheng Yi answered quickly. “Get in.”

　　But Chu Ling didn’t move right away. She paused, then said, “Actually, I suppose I am.”

　　Her gaze lingered on him, and with a small smile she added, “I really am curious about what you usually do.”

 

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