The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 28: Not Really Harmful, But Extremely Insulting!

　　Shen Ling felt like a groundhog trapped in her own chest, screaming internally:

　　—Ahhhhhhh!

　　—Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

　　Xie Yuanxun flinched at her screams. Standing so close, he could hear every high-pitched note clearly.

　　He said, “Why are you frozen? Didn’t I do a good job on your brows?” From where he stood, the effect was perfect—if she were dropped into a crowd, she’d definitely be the brightest one there.

　　Good job? Good job my foot! What kind of devilish aesthetic is this? She shouldn’t have handed him the eyebrow pencil. He created the mess, but she was the one paying for it! Shen Ling went mad and swung her fists at his chest, yelling, “You made me look like this! How am I supposed to face anyone outside?”

　　—Not really harmful, but extremely insulting!

　　—Your hands are terrifying when skilled, useless when weak, and right now they’re pure disaster.

　　Xie Yuanxun frowned. “So you think I did a bad job?”

　　Shen Ling froze mid-swing, baffled. Seriously, how could he not even realize what he’d done?

　　Her fists went up again. “Do you think this looks good?!”

　　—Answer ‘good,’ and you’re done for!

　　—I’m telling you, you’re in big trouble now!

　　Xie Yuanxun grabbed her hands, lowering his gaze to look at her. He compared her current bold brows to how they’d looked before. “It’s a little different, not as pretty as before, but that’s your eyebrows’ fault. I drew them perfectly, who knew they’d look like this on your brows?”

　　Shen Ling’s face turned black. “What do you mean it’s my eyebrows’ fault? What’s wrong with my eyebrows?!” She lunged at him, teeth bared, “I’ll fight you over this!”

　　Xie Yuanxun flashed aside, trying to sneak away. Shen Ling wasn’t about to let him run; she pounced and caught him, claws and all. “Where do you think you’re going? No running!”

　　He raised his hands in mock surrender, smiling, letting her push him onto the bench she’d just been sitting on. “So… you want me to draw your brows again?” he said lazily.

　　—Ha, what good thing are you thinking? How forgetful are you?

　　Shen Ling forced a smile. “Your Majesty, if you draw my brows, I’ll draw yours too. I’ll make them look perfect.” Time for him to get a little Crayon Shin-chan style brows, just like hers!

　　Xie Yuanxun tilted his head. “Alright, you do it.”

　　Shen Ling happily started. But the moment the pencil touched his brows, he stopped her. “Wait. You’re just going to do it like this? Didn’t you ask me what kind of brows I want?”

　　Shen Ling inhaled sharply.

　　—What the hell! Do you think you’re some picky, delicate boy? I’m supposed to ask you what you want and then design multiple options for you to choose from?

　　She dove right in anyway. When she finished, she held his face to check her work. His brows matched his face surprisingly well.

　　“…...”

　　Why… why is this happening? Why is she the only one turning Crayon Shin-chan style while he looks perfect? She checked again—Xie Yuanxun’s brows weren’t ruined at all. She had only deepened the shape, building on the natural arch he already had.

　　Shen Ling: “???”

　　—Help! My hand isn’t listening to me!

　　Xie Yuanxun looked at himself in the bronze mirror, “Not as good as when I do it.”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—Go away!

　　—Don’t even pretend, I know you’re secretly enjoying this.

　　Shen Ling touched her face with a sigh. There was nothing she could do—she was just that kind of gentle, pure, good-hearted person, unwilling to ruin such a handsome face.

　　She told Liu Zhu to bring in some water. She wanted to redraw her eyebrows. When Liu Zhu came in, she nearly gasped at Shen Ling’s appearance, but with Xie Yuanxun present, she held back the sound. Seeing this, Shen Ling couldn’t resist giving Xie Yuanxun a little hit.

　　Xie Yuanxun held her hand, rubbing her fingers gently. “Where did you hear about Empress Mu?”

　　Shen Ling opened her mouth without thinking, “The Imperial Garden. But that was a few days ago.”

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “You curious about her?”

　　Shen Ling washed her eyebrows. “Somewhat.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Then I’ll take you to see her.”

　　Shen Ling froze, speaking dryly, “Is she alive or dead?”

　　Xie Yuanxun: “Does it matter if she’s alive? Does it matter if she’s dead?”

　　Shen Ling forced a smile. “Not really.”

　　—What the hell? Alive or dead? If Empress Mu were alive, the last thing I’d do is go meet her. I don’t want to be cannon fodder. And if she’s dead, do you think I’d dare go see her?

　　Xie Yuanxun’s tone was decisive, “If you want to know about her, I’ll tell you everything when we get there. That way, you won’t be like the others in the Palace, foolishly thinking I spoiled her.” His expression darkened. “Spoiled? Would she even deserve it?”

　　Shen Ling’s gaze drifted. Alright, from Xie Yuanxun’s expression and tone when he mentioned Empress Mu, even if she was dumb, she wouldn't suspect they had anything going on.

　　She had thought he was taking her to some Palace inside, but she didn’t expect Xie Yuanxun to lead her outside the Palace! Shen Ling sat in the carriage, looking out the window at the street scenery. Xie Yuanxun leaned back with his eyes closed beside her. Soon, she realized their destination was far. The crowded, bustling City gave way to a place with clear mountains, flowing waters, and endless sky.

　　Where could this be? Shen Ling had never been here. If it was remote, she noticed soldiers stationed around. If it wasn’t remote, then after sitting in the carriage so long, all she’d heard were the sounds of people kneeling and greeting them, nothing else.

　　Shen Ling picked up a fan, gently fanning Xie Yuanxun. She lowered her head and asked, “Your Majesty, what is this place?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “Ming Mausoleum.”

　　Hmm, it sounded somewhat familiar.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “The late Emperor’s mausoleum.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “Oh, oh. The late Emperor’s mausoleum.” No wonder Ming Mausoleum sounded so familiar. So it was the late Emperor’s tomb…

　　—Wait! A mausoleum?!

　　Why did he bring her to Ming Mausoleum?!

　　Shen Ling hesitated. “Your Majesty, did we come to the wrong place?” Weren’t they supposed to go see Empress Mu? Why were they at the late Emperor’s mausoleum instead?

　　—Don’t tell me you brought me here to dig up a grave?!

　　—What, you finally couldn’t hold it in anymore?

　　—I knew you were twisted, but I didn’t know you were twisted to this extent. I underestimated you. I really shouldn’t have squinted my eyes when judging people.

　　Shen Ling said, “I’m not very experienced with grave digging, Your Majesty.”

　　This was clearly outside her knowledge zone.

　　Xie Yuanxun opened his eyes and looked at her with a strange expression. “You think I brought you here to dig a grave?”

　　Shen Ling said weakly, “Isn’t that the case?”

　　Whether other people would dig graves, Shen Ling didn’t know. But if it was Xie Yuanxun, she fully believed he was capable of it. There was no helping it. Her confidence in his lawless behavior was just that strong.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “How do you want to dig? With your hands?”

　　“…..,” Shen Ling covered her face, cheeks burning. “I misunderstood.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “But if you really want to dig, it’s not impossible.”

　　Steam was practically coming off Shen Ling’s head. “Your Majesty, I beg you, please stop talking.”

　　—That’s your father’s grave!

　　Xie Yuanxun burst out laughing. “Later I’ll have someone give you a shovel.”

　　Shen Ling: “……” Are you serious? I already said I’m not interested in your father’s mausoleum!

　　She lowered her hand and used it to cover Xie Yuanxun’s face, patting it lightly, her tone like she was coaxing a rowdy child. “Your Majesty, keep resting. I’ll wake you when we arrive.”

　　Xie Yuanxun grabbed her hand, brought it to his mouth, and bit it lightly. “You’ve got the nerve to boss me around now.”

　　Shen Ling rolled her eyes. Anyway, he couldn’t see it.

　　Ming Mausoleum had been under construction since the late Emperor’s reign. It covered a vast area, and the mausoleum itself was built grandly. Not only were there guards stationed there, there were also dedicated tomb keepers. Some volunteered, loyal palace servants and officials devoted to the late Emperor. Others were forced volunteers, people who had committed offenses and were exiled here.

　　After getting off the carriage, Shen Ling had barely steadied herself when Xie Yuanxun took an item from Senior Eunuch Feng, who was attending nearby, and placed it straight into her hands.

　　“Hold it properly,” he said.

　　“Whichever spot you fancy, you can start digging there.”

　　Shen Ling, holding the shovel: “……”

　　—I want to dig your grave instead!

　　She only regretted that what she was holding was a shovel, not the forty-meter-long blade she truly wanted.

　　She then cast a gloomy look at Senior Eunuch Feng, who was smiling behind Xie Yuanxun.

　　—Senior Eunuch Feng, now I understand. Aside from Xie Yuanxun's own nature, the reason he’s this unbearable is also because of you, who gives him whatever he asks for.

　　—He just casually mentioned wanting a shovel in the carriage, and you delivered it straight to his hands. If he wanted to kill someone, you’d probably hand him the knife.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Can’t find a spot to dig? Want me to point one out for you?”

　　Shen Ling stared daggers at him.

　　—What the heck are you trying to do?! You crazy man! Don’t you know how huge this mausoleum is? Even if you just point to one plot of land, it’s enormous! How on earth am I supposed to dig it all?!

　　—No, no, no! I definitely don’t want to dig! I never even had this crazy grave-digging idea!

　　Her expression softened, but her movements were quick as she flung the shovel to the ground. She tilted her head up at Xie Yuanxun. “Your Majesty, it’s so heavy. I can’t lift it anymore.”

　　To prevent any more of his mischievous antics, Shen Ling added, “Let’s hurry inside to pay our respects to the late Emperor. We’ve already wasted a lot of time out here. If he still has a spirit, he’d be furious seeing us dragging our feet like this.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Then let him die again.”

　　Shen Ling: “……” She was completely lost. Seriously, no one tells this arrogant, unfilial brat to calm down?

　　Xie Yuanxun: “Let’s go. We’re entering now.”

　　“Okay,” Shen Ling replied, falling in step behind him.

　　After walking a bit, she remembered he said he wanted to take her to see Empress Mu. Spotting a blind spot in his plan, she asked cautiously, “Your Majesty, Empress Mu shouldn’t be here at Ming Mausoleum, right?”

　　Ming Mausoleum was the late Emperor’s tomb. Anyone buried with him should be the late Empress. By rank, Empress Mu was the late Emperor’s daughter-in-law, so she should be interred elsewhere.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s response was chilling: “Who says she’s not here?”

　　Shen Ling’s eyes nearly popped out of her head. Bury a daughter-in-law with the father-in-law? Are you serious?! This is scandalous—it’s straight-up immoral!

　　She pressed on, voice trembling. “You didn’t… bury her here yourself, did you?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Who else would it be, then?”

　　Shen Ling was left speechless. Being with Xie Yuanxun meant he could reinvent her understanding of the world every single day.

　　They arrived at the massive tomb of the late Emperor. The stone doors were so heavy that just standing before them made a person feel minuscule. How on earth were they supposed to get inside?

　　Boom! Boom! Boom!

　　Senior Eunuch Feng stepped forward and twisted open a decorative piece on the tomb. The mausoleum was accessible now, but not through the main door—it opened a side passage just wide enough for two people to walk side by side.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “This is the real entrance. The main door is a dead door. It won’t open.”

　　Shen Ling: “？？？”

　　What the heck? Why isn’t this the main tomb door? Who ever heard of turning a mausoleum’s main entrance into a dead door? If some grave robbers came, they’d be wasting all their effort for nothing.

　　The late Emperor’s mind really was something else. No wonder rulers have such twisted hearts.

　　Xie Yuanxun seemed to read her thoughts and scoffed, “Stop overthinking. When he died, this tomb wasn’t even finished yet. Judging by that expression, I’d say the designs I had the builders make are pretty effective.”

　　Shen Ling clapped her hands, impressed. It was clever—dark under the lights, but who would’ve guessed the real entrance would be right next to the main door?

　　Xie Yuanxun stepped in and noticed Shen Ling still standing there. He tilted his head at her, “What are you standing around for? Come on.”

　　Shen Ling’s eyes went wide. “You’re serious?!”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “What else?”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—I thought you were joking, but no. You’re really dragging me to a grave for a dance party, and it’s your own father’s tomb!

　　Resigned, Shen Ling followed him into the mausoleum with her eyes shut. She had pictured a dark, eerie tomb, maybe with some scary traps or giant bundles of something—ugh, she really wanted a bucket of black dog blood right now.

　　A cold wind brushed over her head.

　　Shen Ling: “Ahhh…uh!” She squeaked into her hand, careful not to make a sound. If she did, she’d get caught. Eyes shut, she waved her hand ahead and whispered, almost with just her breath, “Your Majesty?”

　　Listening carefully, there was no response. Heart pounding, she cracked her eyes open just a little. A few steps away stood Xie Yuanxun. She could see the smile on his face clearly. The surroundings weren’t dark, lamps were lit, and the air wasn’t heavy. This wasn’t the tomb she imagined at all.

　　Next, Shen Ling asked, “Did you just blow air over my head?”

　　Xie Yuanxun burst out laughing, “Hahaha.”

　　Shen Ling’s face went cold. Of course it was him. “Scaring me is fun for you?!”

　　Xie Yuanxun nodded. “It is.”

　　—Damn, your honesty is terrifyingly real.

　　Shen Ling stomped forward, muttering, “Once we see the person, I’m leaving. I’m never coming back here!”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You went the wrong way. This is the path.”

　　Shen Ling scowled and stomped back, “Why didn’t you say so sooner?!”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “You never asked.”

　　Shen Ling clutched her chest.

　　—Don’t think pretending to be good makes you actually good!

　　She wasn’t scared to be in the tomb at all. She was furious, and after being this mad, what else could scare her? Fearless, that’s Shen Ling!

　　In the end, the two of them stopped outside the late Emperor’s burial chamber. Shen Ling saw that there were three coffins inside. She counted them on her fingers: the late Emperor, the late Empress, and Empress Mu. Not one more, not one less.

　　Her gaze drifted to the coffin at the back. With her very normal, very ordinary logic, that one should belong to Empress Mu.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “The one beside the late Emperor is Empress Mu.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “Huh?” So she guessed wrong. “Shouldn’t the one next to the late Emperor be the late Empress?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “That was the case at first. I changed it later.”

　　Shen Ling’s brain short-circuited.

　　—Are you sure the late Empress wasn’t your real mother? What kind of grudge do you have with her? You put the mother-in-law at the back and let the daughter-in-law lie next to the father-in-law. If she could see this, she’d go blind on the spot!

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced at her and slowly said, “Do you know how the late Emperor got his throne?”

　　Shen Ling’s heart instantly skipped a beat. Wait. This feels bad. Very bad. She had always believed that the more secrets you know, the faster you die. She really did not want to hear any Palace secrets right now!

　　Xie Yuanxun continued, “He seized it. He took it from his elder brother, Crown Prince Zhaoyuan.”

　　Shen Ling’s face twisted in pain.

　　—I don’t want to hear this, I don’t want to hear this, I don’t want to hear this!

　　—Past me had no choice. Current me just wants to be a good person. No, a deaf person.

　　Xie Yuanxun thought to himself, too late. He was in the mood to talk.

　　“Crown Prince Zhaoyuan was named heir the moment he was born. His temperament and abilities were all solid. He would have been a ruler who maintained the status quo well. Unfortunately, he loved his brothers too much and ended up nurturing a wolf who wanted to devour him whole.”

　　“Crown Prince Zhaoyuan died of illness. The medicine that killed him was personally fed to him by the late Emperor.”

　　Shen Ling asked curiously, “He didn’t suspect anything?”

　　—He was crown prince from birth, after all. Did he seriously have zero sense of danger? Was he really that naïve and sweet?

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “He did suspect it. But he still drank it.”

　　Shen Ling: “???” So he really was that naïve.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Because the late Emperor told him that if he didn’t die, he would kill the late Empress, who had an affair with Crown Prince Zhaoyuan and had already borne his child.”

　　An affair between the late Empress and Crown Prince Zhaoyuan? Then Xie Yuanxun… whose bloodline was he from? The late Emperor’s, or Crown Prince Zhaoyuan’s?

　　Shen Ling: “……” The pain on her already miserable face intensified.

　　After hearing something like this, even if he left her here in Ming Mausoleum forever, she wouldn’t doubt it for a second. She thought he was just going to talk about Empress Mu. Who knew he would drop such a massive bomb on her instead?

　　Xie Yuanxun continued, “The late Empress was Crown Prince Zhaoyuan’s beloved. After learning this, the late Emperor married her. Then he used Crown Prince Zhaoyuan’s feelings, arranged for the late Empress to conceive a child with him during an ‘accident,’ and once that child was born, he sent Crown Prince Zhaoyuan to the grave.”

　　Shen Ling trembled all over.

　　—Ahhh! You admitted it. You actually admitted it!

　　Xie Yuanxun’s tone turned cold. “She thought that once Crown Prince Zhaoyuan was gone, after helping the late Emperor remove obstacles, he would fall in love with her. What she never realized was that she was only useful while Crown Prince Zhaoyuan was alive. Once he was gone, she had no value left at all.”       

　　“Especially since she gave birth to an illegitimate child.”

　　“They all wanted to get rid of this bastard, but they didn’t expect that Crown Prince Zhaoyuan, gentle as he was all his life, would give them a final warning before he died.”

　　“He left the palace’s Shadow Guards to protect this bastard. The Shadow Guards are assassins trained by the Imperial family of the Da Liang dynasty. Outwardly, there’s only one person by the bastard’s side—you know who I mean, the one you’ve met, Feng Zhi—but secretly, there are plenty more Shadow Guards. If anything ever happened to this bastard, the whole Empire would know what the late Emperor and his Empress had done to Crown Prince Zhaoyuan.”

　　Shen Ling glanced at Xie Yuanxun’s calm face.

　　—Does this guy really love calling himself a ‘bastard’ that much?

　　—Calling himself a bastard like that… wow, it’s kind of extra.

　　He turned his head to look at her.

　　“……”

　　Shen Ling’s throat tightened. Her voice trembled with the edge of tears. “Your Majesty, this bastard… really had such a miserable life. Father didn’t care, mother didn’t love… boohoo.”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s face was cold. “Who do you think this bastard is?”

　　Who do you think it is? How is she supposed to answer that? Does she just point at him and say he’s the bastard? Knowing is one thing, saying it out loud is basically asking to die.

　　Shen Ling said, “Your Majesty, whoever you say it is, that’s who it is.”

　　Xie Yuanxun smirked. “Then that would be you.”

　　—Heh.

　　Xie Yuanxun continued, “The late Emperor loved his reputation. He could never allow the world to know about his own ugly deeds. Let alone letting anyone discover that Crown Prince Zhaoyuan had an heir. If that were revealed, Crown Prince Zhaoyuan’s allies would rally behind the bloodline. So he and the late Empress raised this bastard, playing the roles of doting father and mother. Even though he wanted to get rid of this bastard child, he couldn't because of the Shadow Guards protecting him. In addition, this bastard child could sense his murderous intent and malice, and had no feelings for him.”

　　“Later, he thought of a method. He slowly gave the medicine that killed Crown Prince Zhaoyuan to the Empress, bit by bit, and made her interact with the bastard every day. Over time, this would remove the two people he despised most. Only, he didn’t expect that the Empress would die while the bastard lived.”

　　“He also realized that his own health was failing. The more he tried to kill the bastard, the worse his condition became. Eventually, he couldn’t even step into the Court. Unfortunately, his other sons lacked the ability to challenge the bastard, and they didn’t dare. In the end, the bastard became Emperor.”

　　“As for Empress Mu… she was even more ridiculous. She came from the late Emperor’s maternal family. The late Emperor gave her the title of Empress to preserve the prosperity of the Mu household. After all those years of cold-bloodedness, he still showed a touch of sentiment at the end. It seems unbelievable. Later, it became clear that this sentiment came from a sense of debt to the late Empress. Seeing Empress Mu’s manner and features reminded him somewhat of the late Empress, and that’s why he treated her this way.”    

　　“I figured out his intentions and was deeply moved. After Empress Mu entered the Palace, I even went to see her on purpose. I felt she resembled the late Empress, you know? I felt disgusted just looking at her eyes. They were equally repulsive. So I sent her down to accompany the late Emperor. I believe the late Empress would be very happy to see her.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—No, I really don’t think she would be pleased at all.

　　Xie Yuanxun walked over. “So from now on, you’re not allowed to say I ever favored her. Got it?”

　　Shen Ling nodded. Great. No white moonlight substitute melodrama for her.

　　Then Shen Ling suddenly thought about it. Someone like Xie Yuanxun, who grew up surrounded by lies, malice, killing intent, schemes, and deception… honestly, it was not that hard to understand why he eventually destroyed the Da Liang dynasty.

　　“Eek!” Shen Ling pressed a hand to her forehead. Oh no. Had she been brainwashed? She actually felt like him ending the dynasty made sense.

　　When they exited the mausoleum, Senior Eunuch Feng closed the passage behind them. Shen Ling walked over and tried twisting it herself, but even using all her strength, she could not move it at all.

　　She clapped her hands, pretended nothing had happened, and calmly walked back to Xie Yuanxun’s side.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I knew you wouldn’t be able to open it.”

　　Shen Ling, “......” What was he talking about? She totally did nothing just now, okay?

　　“Your Majesty,” Shen Ling spoke up.

　　“Hm?” Xie Yuanxun replied.

　　Shen Ling asked, “Where is your mausoleum?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I don’t have one.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “How could you not? Don’t Emperors start building their mausoleums the moment they ascend the throne?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said meaningfully, “If I’m not going to be buried in it, what’s the point of a mausoleum? After I die, the Shadow Guards will follow my instructions and cremate me, then scatter my ashes into the sea outside Bohai County, letting me exist together with heaven and earth.”

　　Shen Ling looked like she had seen a ghost. Between the two of them, who was the one who had transmigrated into a book? Why was his level of enlightenment this high? Shen Ling could accept cremation, sure, but Xie Yuanxun too? Did he not think this was basically reducing someone to ashes?

　　Xie Yuanxun flicked her forehead. “You’ll be reduced to ashes together with me.”

　　Shen Ling said, “Oh.” So he knew himself that this method counted as being reduced to ashes.

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Aren’t you afraid?”    

　　Shen Ling shook her head. “I’m not afraid.” She smiled sweetly at him, cooing, “With Your Majesty here, I’m not afraid of anything.”

　　—What’s there to be afraid of? I’m already dead back then.

　　—After I’m dead, let the floods come, I don’t care.

　　Xie Yuanxun looked quite pleased with her response. Even though it was a bit of flattery, he could accept it. “But now I’ve changed my mind.”

　　“Oh.” Change or not, it didn’t affect her.

　　He raised an eyebrow. “Aren’t you curious why I changed my mind?”

　　—Not curious.

　　—Sigh, but to keep you happy, I’ll pretend to be curious. Look how much I do for you! How many lies I’ve had to tell!

　　Shen Ling said, “Your Majesty, just tell me why. I’m curious.”

　　—Impossible!

　　“......” Xie Yuanxun almost didn’t want to say anymore. No sense of accomplishment, but in the end he still spoke. “In the future, maybe someone will enter our tomb the same way we entered the late Emperor’s tomb today.” He used to not care about what came after him, but now with Shen Ling by his side, he couldn’t be so careless. His tomb would be built properly, and he would watch over it.

　　Shen Ling twitched her lips.

　　—Are you secretly hoping someone will come along later and be as crazy as you, dancing on a grave?

　　Xie Yuanxun didn’t hurry back to the Palace. They walked like this for a while, and Shen Ling’s foot accidentally slipped. She nearly fell, but Xie Yuanxun caught her just in time. He ended up holding her hand, her in front, him behind.

　　At first, Shen Ling didn’t think much of it. Later, she realized it felt a little like being walked on a leash—he was walking her.

　　She stayed quiet, matching his pace, hand in hand. When they reached a certain spot, Xie Yuanxun stopped, but Shen Ling didn’t notice and kept moving forward. Their hands were still clasped, so the moment he stopped, she bounced back like a spring.

　　“Did you hear that?” Xie Yuanxun asked.

　　“Hear what?” Shen Ling perked her ears, hearing only birds and the rustling of leaves in the wind.

　　Xie Yuanxun silently glanced at her.

　　Shen Ling kicked the ground with her foot, pretending it was Xie Yuanxun.

　　—Don’t think I didn’t notice the disdain in your eyes.

　　—Why don’t you just say what you heard!

　　Xie Yuanxun didn’t answer. He led her toward the direction of the sound he had heard, with Senior Eunuch Feng trailing behind, hesitant to speak.

　　Then Shen Ling finally heard the sound that Xie Yuanxun had heard before.       

　　“......” Shen Ling never expected this. There were people getting it on out here—she could practically hear the engine revving of the action!

　　Xie Yuanxun lifted the branches blocking their view, his gaze cold and neutral at first. When he saw the scene ahead, his pupils constricted. Shen Ling casually followed his line of sight.

　　—Wow wow wow! Definitely a pair of wild lovebirds.

　　—The battle is intense! Ah, that pose is tricky… won’t the woman break her waist? And the man…

　　Snap! Xie Yuanxun suddenly covered Shen Ling’s eyes, pulling her into his arms. He whispered in her ear, a dark edge to his tone, “What did you see?”

　　Shen Ling instantly became obedient, hiding all the wild excitement in her heart. “The wind blew dust into my eyes. I didn’t see anything.”

　　With her eyes covered, she really couldn’t see a thing—only catching the occasional sounds around her.

　　“I can cover my own eyes, Your Majesty,” Shen Ling said. If she did it herself, her fingers would leave huge gaps.

　　—You’ve covered my eyes and ears completely, yet you won’t cover yours? Not fair.

　　—If we’re watching, we watch together. If not, neither of us sees. Good things aren’t for keeping to yourself, are you even human?

　　Xie Yuanxun, “.....” He didn’t answer verbally. Instead, he covered her even tighter. Except nose and mouth—nothing was left exposed.

　　Shen Ling tried twisting his hands, but couldn’t move them. She gave up, leaning back into his embrace.

　　—Sigh, just got a teaser and no follow-up. Might as well not have brought me here at all.

　　—But the tomb guardians of Ming Mausoleum sure have a… unique way of passing the time. Using the sky as a blanket and the ground as a mat for their action scenes…

　　Shen Ling suddenly stopped mid-thought. She realized a major detail she had overlooked: the wild pair of lovers were driving the whole carriage, right? Xie Yuanxun had no experience in this… wasn’t she basically giving him a live simulation lesson? If he learned, she would really be… done for!

　　She wriggled, finally freeing her mouth from his hand. Panicked, she blurted, “Your Majesty, let’s go!”

　　Xie Yuanxun didn’t move.

　　“Your Majesty, I need to use the restroom.”

　　Finally, he gave her a look. “Do it right here.”

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　—Are you seriously a demon?!

　　—Why don’t you let me go on your head while you’re at it!

　　—Ugh! You can say such shameless things. If I actually had to go, you should know it’d only be from fear!

　　She lifted her foot and stomped hard on his. “Your Majesty, I’m hungry.”

　　Xie Yuanxun thought for a moment, then lifted her right hand to her mouth and said, “Just nibble on it for now.”

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　—This is my hand! Not a pig’s trotters!

　　Her face twisted in fury. That damn Xie Yuanxun was seriously inhuman! Teeth clenched, eyes blazing, she thought, He won’t let me look, won’t let me hear, won’t even let me go? Just him sneaking a lesson on something he’s curious about.

　　Without another word, Shen Ling let out a piercing scream, yelling at the top of her lungs like a drum being beaten, “Snake! Ahhh—ahhhhhh!”

　　—Let’s see you watch anything now, huh!

　　—Push me, and my patience explodes right in your face.

　　The wild couple panicked, scrambling apart and yanking their clothes back on. Senior Eunuch Feng waved his hand, letting the servants gagging them and subduing them. “Your Majesty, how shall we deal with them?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Handle them according to the law.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng bowed. “Yes, Your Majesty.”

　　Shen Ling had never heard Xie Yuanxun say “handle according to the law” before. She asked quietly, “What does the law say about doing this in Ming Mausoleum?”

　　He replied flatly, “Defile the Imperial Tomb, the law calls for execution.”

　　Why didn't he just say to kill them directly? Oh, she understood. Xie Yuanxun was paying his tuition fee. Others teach their apprentices and starve themselves; they taught Xie Yuanxun, and lost their lives in the process. It wasn't that Xie Yuanxun was bloodthirsty and insisted on killing them; they had violated the law. 

　　Two perfect little lesson props.

　　Two mere tools.

　　On the way back to the Palace, Xie Yuanxun didn’t mention it again. If Shen Ling hadn't been regretting for only seeing the opening scene, she might have thought today was just a normal visit to Ming Mausoleum, with nothing else happening.

　　Shen Ling expected him to return to the Taiji Hall, but instead he followed her back to Chang Le Palace. That wasn’t too surprising. What was strange was that he stuck around the whole time. She changed clothes while he watched from over the screen, ate while he stood nearby, and even through her nighttime routine—bathing, washing, dressing, going to bed—Xie Yuanxun followed her the entire time. Shen Ling felt her skin crawl under his gaze.    

　　“Your Majesty, are you going to sleep here?” Shen Ling asked.

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “No, I’m returning to Taiji Hall.”

　　“Oh, oh, then I’ll see Your Majesty off,” Shen Ling said.

　　She closed her eyes, ready to sleep, sleep, sleep… but she couldn’t!

　　Xie Yuanxun, that infuriating creature, was still standing by her bed, watching her!

　　—I just saw you off, why aren’t you leaving!

　　—God, am I really that irresistible to you? So captivating that you linger and can’t bear to leave, but I just want to sleep, okay? I’m exhausted. What part of me is so alluring? Should I change already?!

　　Finally, Shen Ling opened her eyes, looked up at where Xie Yuanxun had been, and patted the empty space beside her. “Your Majesty, come sleep here.”

　　However, Xie Yuanxun, who had been standing by the bed, was already gone.

　　Shen Ling stared.

　　—So my hand just patted nothing, and my words just filled the air?    

       

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T/N: No wonder Xie Yuanxun is kinda unhinged. His family line is seriously messed up. Ugh. The author went crazy with ideas in today’s chapter. It’s a whole 5.5k words! Normally one chapter is around 2.5k, so this basically feels like uploading two chapters at once. Haha 😭 Ugh.

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