The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 29: Homework

　　Taiji Hall.

　　Xie Yuanxun summoned Senior Eunuch Feng to his side. “Feng Zhi, I remember you once presented me with some… special books. The kind that explain what that man and woman I saw at the Ming Mausoleum were doing that day.” He asked directly, “Where are they?”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng smiled and replied respectfully, “Your Majesty, this old servant will fetch them at once.” Back then, he had given Xie Yuanxun one batch of those illustrated manuals, but he had kept another batch in reserve, just in case the day ever came when His Majesty would ask again. And look, His Majesty had finally awakened to it.

　　Senior Eunuch Feng quickly laid the requested manuals out before him.

　　Xie Yuanxun picked one up and flipped through it with an indifferent expression. After finishing, he let out a soft sound and said, “So matters between men and women are not limited to just kissing.” Then he picked up another book. This one included material about having children. He looked slightly surprised. “So even if you want a child, you still need to do something more intimate. No wonder her belly has shown no signs at all after all this time.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng blinked, his expression still gentle, but inwardly he felt deeply gratified. His Majesty had kissed Shen Ling. He even mentioned children. It was not that he was making a fuss or being overly excited. It was just that in the past, Xie Yuanxun had been completely indifferent to the beauties of the Harem. As for His Majesty not knowing how children were conceived, well… hmm? What? You said what?

　　Xie Yuanxun tossed the manuals he had read aside. Suddenly remembering something, he lifted his dark gaze. “Arrest everyone who mentioned Empress Mu to Bao Fei that day in the Imperial Garden.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng did not ask why. “Yes.”

　　Using the Shadow Guard, Senior Eunuch Feng quickly tracked down the two palace servants, along with several others who were close to them and had questionable dealings with outsiders. With a wave of his hand, he ordered the imperial guards to arrest them all.

　　At Jing Fei’s palace, a line of stern, sharp imperial guards marched in. Jing Fei had been asleep. Hearing the commotion, she sat up. “What is going on outside?”

　　Nanny Zhou entered with her cloak draped over her shoulders. “The imperial guards are here. They say they are here to arrest people from our palace.”

　　Jing Fei frowned. “How dare they! Who gave them the nerve to barge into a consort’s palace in the inner court? Are they not afraid of angering His Majesty?”

　　Nanny Zhou replied, “They said this is His Majesty’s order.”

　　Jing Fei snapped her head up and met Nanny Zhou’s worried expression. “His Majesty’s order?” Fear crept in. She forced a stiff smile. “Who are they here to arrest? Hand the people over to them. Nanny, go out and tell them I had nothing to do with this. Even if the servants below made a mistake, that is not my fault. Give them some silver and ask them to put in a good word for me when they report back to His Majesty.”

　　Nanny Zhou shook her head and gave a bitter smile. “The person they want to arrest is Qingbi.”

　　“Qingbi?” Jing Fei did not recognize the name.

　　Nanny Zhou bent down and whispered into Jing Fei’s ear. “She is the one we sent to the Imperial Garden to talk to Bao Fei about Empress Mu. I thought no one would notice her. I did not expect her to be found anyway.”

　　Jing Fei’s tone turned displeased. “Why did you not silence her back then? Look at this mess now. You left her alive, and I gained nothing from it, only a basket full of trouble. She was arrested in my palace. This will implicate me.”

　　Nanny Zhou said faintly, “I did think about silencing her. Only the dead can truly keep secrets. But Your Grace said it was unnecessary, and said you could protect her.”

　　Jing Fei choked on her words. In front of others, she could protect Qingbi. After all, Qingbi was someone from her palace. Even if it was just for pride, she had to stand her ground. But in front of Xie Yuanxun, she must have been out of her mind to think of protecting Qingbi. She was not tired of living, nor was her neck so stiff that it needed a physical lesson.

　　“So now you are saying this is all my fault?” she snapped. “When something goes wrong, you do not think about how to fix it. Instead, you argue with me about who is right and who is wrong. Nanny, you are being presumptuous.”

　　“……”

　　Jing Fei continued, her voice fierce but lacking confidence. “Go warn her. Make sure she knows what she should say and what she should not say. I do not care what method you use. Just make sure she does not drag me into this.”

　　Nanny Zhou looked troubled. “Your Grace, this is really asking the impossible,” she thought. But when she met Jing Fei’s panicked gaze, her heart softened as always. “Yes. I will go at once.”

　　Jing Fei watched Nanny Zhou leave. She wanted to get out of bed, but when she saw the torchlight blazing outside, she suppressed the urge. Like a trapped beast, she stayed in her cage, pretending that if she neither listened nor looked, she would be safe.

　　After leaving the sleeping quarters, Nanny Zhou planned to speak with the leader of the guards to stall for time. Instead, she noticed that some of the guards were already gone. Her throat tightened. Had they already gone to arrest Qingbi?

　　Panicking, Nanny Zhou rushed toward Qingbi’s room. Halfway there, she saw Qingbi unconscious in the guards’ hands. She hurried forward. “My lord, may I ask where you are taking Qingbi? This child has done wrong, and I apologize on her behalf. Could you let me take her to wash up first?” She tried to stuff a purse of silver toward them, but none of the guards accepted it, nor did anyone respond to her.

　　Nanny Zhou stood stiffly and watched them leave.

　　She had not expected Qingbi to be caught so quickly. It was far too fast. She had not even had time to carry out Jing Fei’s instructions.

　　When Nanny Zhou returned to the sleeping quarters, Jing Fei asked anxiously, “How did it go? Did you warn her?”

　　Nanny Zhou’s throat was dry. The words came out with great difficulty, as if squeezed out under a heavy stone. “When I arrived, she had already been knocked out and taken away.”

　　Jing Fei fell silent at once. She grabbed Nanny Zhou’s hand with great force. “Nanny, she will not confess me to His Majesty, right?”

　　Nanny Zhou replied stiffly, “No, she will not.” Several deep marks were left on the back of her hand from Jing Fei’s grip.

　　Qingbi had been taken alive. Elsewhere, the eunuch A Mu was also captured, but unlike Qingbi, he was not taken whole. He was dragged away half crippled.

　　The moment A Mu heard the door being forced open, he knew things were bad. He immediately bit his tongue to commit suicide, but the guards stopped him in time and saved his life.

　　When Senior Eunuch Feng saw the people who had been arrested, his gaze lingered mainly on Qingbi and Eunuch A Mu. The rest were merely the dirt pulled out along with the radish. “Do not let them die. When they die and how they die is for His Majesty to decide. As long as His Majesty has not spoken, they are not allowed to die.”

　　The guards replied, “Yes.”

　　The next day.

　　It was an ordinary day, just like any other. The only unusual thing was that when Xie Yuanxun woke up in bed, he did not call for anyone like he usually did. Inside the Taiji Hall, the palace servants were already holding basins and toiletries, waiting to serve him, yet no one dared to make a sound.

　　After a while, Xie Yuanxun’s voice came from behind the bed curtains. “Have they all been caught?”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng answered, “Yes, Your Majesty. They have all been captured and are waiting outside the hall.”

　　“Mm.” Xie Yuanxun got out of bed.

　　Senior Eunuch Feng caught sight of the marks on his undergarments. His eyes lit up, and he said with heartfelt relief, “Your Majesty has truly grown up.”

　　Grown up for many years already, Xie Yuanxun, “……”

　　He glanced at the overly excited Senior Eunuch Feng and, in the end, said nothing.

　　After washing up and getting dressed, Xie Yuanxun casually walked out of the Taiji Hall and sat down on the large chair placed outside. On the ground below him knelt the palace servants who had been arrested, while stern-faced guards stood all around them.

　　Xie Yuanxun raised a hand and pointed. “Kill the ones in the back.”

　　In swift motions, one after another.

　　In the blink of an eye, only the people kneeling at the front were left alive.

　　Xie Yuanxun spoke again. “Do you know why they died?” He paused, then turned his head toward the person beside him. “Senior Eunuch Feng, am I getting talkative? I do not remember asking questions like this when I killed people before.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng smiled. “Your Majesty, you have become kinder. Besides, they were disloyal to Your Majesty. They deserved to die.”

　　Xie Yuanxun let out a soft snort.

　　Qingbi and Eunuch A Mu trembled as they knelt there. If it were just death, they would not have been so afraid. But with Xie Yuanxun standing before them, the fear buried deep in their bones surged uncontrollably.

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Speak. Whose people are you?”

　　Qingbi stammered, “This servant, this servant belongs to Your Majesty… ah!”

　　Xie Yuanxun kicked her over with a cold laugh. “What are you supposed to be? You think you are worthy of being mine?”

　　Qingbi curled up and clutched her chest. It was obvious that Xie Yuanxun had not held back with that kick.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s aura turned chilling, his face like a demon king’s. “Someone come. Slice her apart piece by piece. Send the shaved flesh to her family as a reward. Make them eat every last bit. Not a scrap is allowed to remain.”

　　Qingbi was horrified. Tears streamed down her face as she endured the pain. She had been ordered by Nanny Zhou to bring up Empress Mu. Nanny Zhou had threatened her with her family. If she did not go, her family would die. Qingbi was close to her family. Her father was already dead, leaving only her mother and younger sister. Her uncle coveted their house. She had entered the Palace to find them a way to survive. With the Imperial Palace as a deterrent, her uncle would not dare sell off their widowed household.

　　Compared to Nanny Zhou’s threats, Xie Yuanxun’s words right now terrified her even more.

　　“Your Majesty, I will talk. I will say everything.” She was crying so hard that snot and tears streamed down her face. “I belong to Jing Fei’s palace. That day, Nanny Zhou came to find me and gave me a pouch. That pouch was made by my younger sister. I recognized it immediately. Nanny Zhou said my family’s lives were in my hands. If I wanted them to live, all I had to do was follow her instructions and let Bao Fei know about the late Empress Mu. She said she would spare my family then. I only did what she told me to do. I really do not know anything else.”

　　Xie Yuanxun examined her for a moment. “Bring the Jing Fei and the Nanny Zhou she mentioned.”

　　Then he looked at Eunuch A Mu, who was still coughing up blood. “And you. Whose person are you?”

　　Eunuch A Mu whimpered and shook his head.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Oh, you will not speak. Then I suppose you want to be flayed as well.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng stepped forward and said, “Your Majesty, he used to tend flowers and plants in Yù ¹Tàifēi’s palace. Yù Tàifēi is Princess Yuzhen’s mother. Once, the flowers he cared for made Princess Yuzhen fall ill after she smelled them. When Yù Tàifēi wanted to have him killed, Princess Yuzhen pleaded for his life. He survived, but was demoted to handling menial chores. Princess Yuzhen showed him kindness, and from then on, he kept in contact with people from the Princess’s Manor. This time, he acted on orders from the Princess’s Manor.”

　　Xie Yuanxun lifted his eyelids slightly. “Princess Yuzhen left her people in my Palace for what purpose? To spy on my movements? Or is my temper so good that she has forgotten her place?”

　　As soon as he finished speaking, Xie Yuanxun drew his blade and coldly chopped off Eunuch A Mu’s head. The severed head rolled across the ground as blood splattered everywhere. “Send the head to Yuzhen’s Manor. Make her open the box herself. If she faints, stuff it into her arms. I want the first thing she sees when she wakes up to be him.”

　　A palace servant stepped forward to place the head into a box and silently carried it away. Others swiftly cleaned the bloodstains on the ground.

　　When Jing Fei arrived with Nanny Zhou, what they saw was a kneeling body without a head. Only Eunuch A Mu’s corpse remained.

　　Jing Fei swayed unsteadily. Nanny Zhou was just as terrified, her teeth chattering. “Your Grace, you must not faint.”

　　They both stepped forward to pay their respects. Xie Yuanxun looked over. “Jing Fei.”

　　If it were another time and place, hearing Xie Yuanxun call her name would have delighted her. But now, fear was the only thing on her face. “Y-Your Majesty.”

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Do you recognize this palace maid?”

　　He pointed at Qingbi.

　　Jing Fei stammered, “N-No, I do not.”

　　Xie Yuanxun laughed softly, like an icy needle piercing straight into her skull. “If you do not recognize her, then what use are you still being alive? If you do not recognize her, go die.” He asked again, “So do you really not recognize her?”

　　Jing Fei’s legs went weak. “I recognize her.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “What were you trying to do? Stir up discord between me and Bao Fei? I truly did not expect someone like you to exist in the harem.”

　　Jing Fei collapsed to the ground. She did not dare argue. At first, she had wanted to use Empress Mu as leverage to make Shen Ling fall out of favor with Xie Yuanxun. But no matter how she spun it, what she did was indeed sowing discord between them.

　　Xie Yuanxun remained silent and indifferent.

　　“Your Majesty, I will never dare again. These were not my ideas. I only found out about what Qingbi did just now. It was all... it was all done by Nanny Zhou. She was the mastermind.” Jing Fei pointed back at Nanny Zhou.

　　“I have no grudges with Bao Fei. It was this old servant stirring trouble behind the scenes. I am innocent.”

　　Nanny Zhou stared at Jing Fei in disbelief as all the blame was shoved onto her. She could not believe that Jing Fei would abandon the nanny who had served her since childhood.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Is that so?”

　　“Yes, Your Majesty. You must believe me. I would never dare cause trouble in the palace. It was this old servant who was full of schemes. I was dragged down by her.”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied calmly, “Since you were dragged down by her, then you may personally beat her to death.”

　　Jing Fei lifted her head in a daze.    

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You will personally carry out her beating to death.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng had the palace servants bring over the punishment tools and placed them into Jing Fei’s hands. Startled, she instinctively pulled her hands back. Senior Eunuch Feng said calmly, “Hold it steady, Your Grace. She has already been pressed to the ground. All that’s left is for you to strike.”

　　Growing impatient, Xie Yuanxun said, “You may begin.”

　　Tears streaming down her face, Jing Fei said, “Nanny, don’t blame me. Don’t blame me. This is your fault. You brought this on yourself.”

　　Nanny Zhou opened her mouth, trying to speak. “I…”

　　Everyone feared death. No matter how loyal Nanny Zhou had once been, the moment she was abandoned by Jing Fei to save her own life, resentment surged in her heart. This had all been Jing Fei’s idea from the start. She had even tried to dissuade her, but Jing Fei insisted on going her own way. Now that something had gone wrong, she was being pushed out as the scapegoat. She should have known long ago that the mistress she served was a cold-blooded person.

　　Jing Fei unconsciously raised her voice. “Nanny, for my sake, for the reputation of your descendants, go in peace.”

　　Nanny Zhou closed her mouth. She understood now. Jing Fei was threatening her with her family. In the past, she had used other people’s families as leverage. She never thought the day would come when it would be used against her.

　　Her entire family were household servants of the Prime Minister’s Manor, bound from birth to death as slaves of that household. But because she was capable and deeply trusted by Jing Fei, Prime Minister Yang had made an exception. To ensure her absolute loyalty, he personally arranged for her most academically gifted grandson to have his slave registration revoked at the yamen, giving the boy a chance to sit for the imperial examinations.

　　Her death did not matter. She just could not drag her grandson down with her.

　　Jing Fei raised the cudgel and brought it down on Nanny Zhou. Bang. Bang. Bang. The dull sounds made her face turn deathly pale. She wanted desperately to stop, but until Nanny Zhou breathed her last, she could not pause, not even for a moment.

　　She did not know how much time passed. By the time her arms felt completely useless, Nanny Zhou had finally stopped breathing, collapsing on the ground like a lump of mud.

　　Jing Fei looked utterly disheveled. “Your Majesty, she’s dead.” Her hands and lips were trembling uncontrollably.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I called you a remarkable figure, and it seems I wasn’t wrong. You could personally beat to death the nanny who served you. Heh.”

　　“If you dare go to Bao Fei again and say things that twist the truth, then as long as you have enough servants, go ahead and try. But if I find out, the one lying on the ground next time won’t be a servant. It will be you. Do you understand?”

　　Jing Fei nodded in fear.

　　Xie Yuanxun lifted his chin slightly. “You may leave.”

　　She stood up stiffly, her expression blank, her eyes vacant. Only after returning to her palace did she finally collapse into terrified wailing. “Nanny…”

　　If Shen Ling knew that she had slept so soundly last night, only so she could have enough energy today to witness Xie Yuanxun’s blood-soaked methods, the kind you could tell as a horror story, she definitely would not have slept that peacefully.

　　She had only slept for one night. It was not like she had transmigrated again. How did Xie Yuanxun manage to stir up so much chaos in such a short time?　　

　　Xie Yuanxun wasn’t like other Emperors—he played by his own rules.

　　Just hearing about the people he had killed, the ones Shen Ling heard from Liu Yun while in the Chang Le Palace—beheadings, cudgelings, floggings—she couldn’t help but think he might have completely lost it.

　　Shen Ling sipped the hot tea Liu Zhu had made for her. A little extra warmth couldn’t hurt. She looked at Liu Yun, who had paused, and said, “Keep going.”

　　“Yes, Your Grace,” Liu Yun said. “The Emperor summoned Jing Fei, and I didn’t overhear what exactly was said. The palace attendants close to His Majesty are tight-lipped, but I did hear that when Jing Fei returned to her palace, she came back alone. The maid beside her was Nanny Zhou—the same one who was executed by cudgel, and it was Jing Fei herself who did it.”

　　Shen Ling froze. “What? She… cudgelled her own maid?” She hadn’t realized Jing Fei could be this ruthless.

　　Liu Yun gave her a glance and whispered, “It’s said that His Majesty ordered her to do it.”

　　Xie Yuanxun? That bit of news shook Shen Ling a little.

　　“Do you know why?” she asked.

　　By her side was Liu Zhu, her personal Head Maid, basically her private housekeeper. Liu Yun had started as a lowly palace maid, but Shen Ling had noticed her skill in making paper kites and promoted her to serve directly at her side. Over time, Liu Yun had become Shen Ling’s ears in the Palace, always knowing what was going on. Seeing that Liu Yun could win Shen Ling’s favor and wasn’t a bad egg, Liu Zhu had brought her closer, making her the second most visible and useful maid in Shen Ling’s palace.

　　Liu Yun said, “Your Grace, someone in the Palace mentioned the late Empress Mu. You probably only know about her because of what you’ve heard. The people His Majesty killed were those who brought her up. The first person to do so was Qingbi, sent by Nanny Zhou. All that nonsense was meant to drive a wedge between you and His Majesty. But His Majesty saw through it with eyes that could burn through lies, found the real culprit, and forced Jing Fei to personally cudgel Nanny Zhou. If she hadn’t, she would have been considered a co-conspirator. To clear herself, she had no choice but to execute her own nanny.”

　　Shen Ling thought about it. If Jing Fei really abandoned Nanny Zhou, it was like cutting off her left and right arms. Shen Ling didn’t believe Nanny Zhou had taken action on her own—if anything, those words had likely come from Jing Fei herself. Nanny Zhou was just the scapegoat.

　　Jing Fei was ruthless. She played the abandon-the-car-to-save-the-general move perfectly. Don’t talk about Nanny Zhou being just a servant—even a long-cared-for pet would feel attachment. And Nanny Zhou had been loyal to Jing Fei, always thinking of her interests. Yet when trouble came, Jing Fei cudgelled her herself.

　　This could only mean Jing Fei’s concern for Nanny Zhou wasn’t that deep. Maybe in her eyes, servants like her were a dime a dozen.

　　Shen Ling wondered if Jing Fei even thought about how terrifying this would be for the other palace staff, or if she had been dragged there by Xie Yuanxun, scared out of her mind, and forced down a dead-end path. Shen Ling took another sip of tea. It wasn’t impossible. Xie Yuanxun was like a terrifying teacher—anyone guilty or nervous in front of him would be totally freaked out, like a 100% damage buff.

　　Shen Ling smiled to herself. At least she had never been afraid of teachers.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s stunt with Jing Fei would have left her shaken, even if she wasn’t completely ruined.

　　“Hmm?” Shen Ling felt like he had stolen her spotlight. Technically, it was Jing Fei scheming against her, so she should have been the one to strike back. Instead, Xie Yuanxun swooped in, dealt with Jing Fei decisively, and Shen Ling had to hear about it all from Liu Yun.

　　Not that she minded; she wasn’t about to blame him for stepping in.

　　Liu Yun continued, “Your Grace, you don’t know this, but Jiang Jieyu didn’t visit Jing Fei this time. In the past, she loved going to Jing Fei’s palace. Jing Fei was generous, and every visit meant she’d get a lot of good things…”

　　Shen Ling took the last sip of her tea with a soft smack of her lips.

　　—It wasn’t generosity. She was just a sucker.

　　—And it's not that I underestimate Jing Fēi, she really can't outsmart the cunning Jiang Jieyu.

　　Liu Yun said, “The head of the imperial kitchen always looks so serious, speaks so formally, but it’s all an act. He’s actually very sensitive. Once, I went to the kitchen by accident and saw him standing near where the livestock were kept, quietly wiping his tears. I even heard him say, ‘Rest well… may you have a good rebirth in your next life…’”

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　—Wait, this head of the kitchen? I’ve seen him during ceremonies. Sure, he’s a bit chubby, but you could still tell he has muscles and strength—otherwise he couldn’t even hold a ladle. And now you’re telling me this guy, outwardly a fat muscle man, is secretly the type to stare at the sky at a forty-five-degree angle and sigh like some tragic heroine?

　　—That contrast is insane!

　　Liu Yun continued, “Over at the Beast Garden, there’s an aunt who’s always borrowing silver and never returning it. Everyone around her is afraid to lend her money anymore. If someone asks her to pay back the money, she gets angry and unhappy…”

　　Shen Ling nodded.

　　—I understand. When borrowing money, she treats them like royalty; when it comes to paying it back, she’s treated like royalty, and those people are treated like servants by her.

　　Liu Yun went on, “Also, there’s a rising star in the Music Palace, but he specializes in writing storybooks. The people under his management are also in that line of work. His storybooks are so good that people want to read them again and again. All the actors, except the dancers, are waiting to use his storybooks to perform on stage…”

　　Shen Ling silently watched Liu Yun chatter nonstop. Her gaze must have been intense because Liu Yun looked up, puzzled. “Your Grace, why are you staring at me like that?”

　　Shen Ling said, “Nothing, it’s just… Liu Yun, you really know a lot.”

　　She was basically like a walking gossip hub of the Palace.

　　Liu Yun rubbed her hands and smiled. “It’s all family talent. My father, before he passed, there wasn't a single thing he didn't know within several streets. Affairs, stolen property, friends plotting behind each other’s backs—anything, he knew it all.”

　　Shen Ling blinked in surprise and asked earnestly, “Liu Yun, how did your father die?”

　　Liu Yun said, “He passed away from illness.”

　　Shen Ling thought for a moment. So he wasn’t beaten to death or anything like that… huh, I thought… cough cough!

　　Then Shen Ling had a bold idea. She had status, Liu Yun had the info, and she herself could be the perfect gossip collector. Music Palace could provide someone to help polish the writing. Why not start a little entertainment newspaper?

　　The Da Liang Dynasty had an official newspaper, the Dibao, but it only contained official documents and was for officials to read. Women who wanted to read the Dibao were dreaming. At most, they could read storybooks and invite opera troupes to their homes. There were no other forms of entertainment.

　　Shen Ling thought her idea wasn’t bad. She said, “Liu Yun, go get me some paper and pens. I’m going to write down everything you know.”

　　Liu Yun smiled, “Your Grace, why bother writing? I can just tell you. Writing it down will tire your hand.”

　　Shen Ling said, “Don’t worry, I have a plan for it.”

　　Liu Yun had no choice but to fetch the paper and pens. Shen Ling spread the sheets on the table and, with a large brush, wrote: Da Liang Dynasty News Weekly. Then she hesitated. Adding Da Liang Dynasty made it sound too official, so she scratched it out and left News Weekly, meaning a paper for fresh and curious stories.

　　Liu Yun said, “Jin… Ding… Zhou… You…”

　　Shen Ling frowned. “Jin Ding Zhou You? What are you saying?” She understood the meaning of Liu Yun's words when they were separated, but when put together, she didn't understand.　　

　　Liu Yun pointed to the four characters Shen Ling had written on the paper. “It's what Your Grace wrote: Jin, Ding, Zhou, You!” She traced each character with her finger as she spoke.

　　Shen Ling thought, …This lack of education is truly terrifying. She had misread “News Weekly” as “Jin Ding Zhou You,” recognizing only half a character as if it were ingrained in her genes.

　　Shen Ling said, “They’re ‘News Weekly.’ You only pronounced one character correctly.”

　　Liu Yun exclaimed excitedly, “Really? I pronounced it correctly!”

　　Shen Ling looked at her.

　　—Girl, your tone sounds a bit off. Why are you more surprised than I am?

　　“You can start speaking now.” Shen Ling lowered her head, preparing to write.

　　Liu Yun was confused but still obeyed Shen Ling's instructions and began speaking.

　　The more Shen Ling wrote, the more conflicted she became. Did Liu Yun know too much? After a moment’s thought, she said, “Don’t inquire about His Majesty’s affairs. Stay away from the Taiji Hall.”

　　Liu Yun nodded repeatedly. “I won’t. The people around His Majesty are very tight-lipped. They don’t even talk in their sleep.”

　　Shen Ling asked, “What about you?”

　　Liu Yun replied, “I’m asleep. I don’t know if I’ll talk, but sometimes when I wake up in the morning, my face is a little swollen. Maybe I was bitten by mosquitoes.”

　　Shen Ling was speechless.

　　—No, I think you were beaten up. Otherwise, your face wouldn’t be swollen. You unlucky fellow, don’t you ever wonder why other people’s faces aren’t swollen? Why is yours?

　　She patted Liu Yun’s shoulder and sighed. “It’s not easy for you to have survived until now. It’s a miracle you weren’t beaten to death.”

　　Liu Yun blinked. “Huh?”

　　After fiddling around for a while, Shen Ling produced a newspaper with a rather rough style and format. She was quite satisfied with it. Originally, she had planned to call a few writers from the Music Palace to make a template based on it and then print it out. However, looking at the content, although it was gossip, it was still palace gossip. She decided to take it to Xie Yuanxun first to see if it could be printed. She didn’t want to be shut down later—safety first.

　　Shen Ling took the newspaper and headed toward the Taiji Hall. When she arrived, she expected a scene of carnage, but it wasn’t like that at all. The ground was clean. If she hadn’t heard from Liu Yun what Xie Yuanxun had done, she really wouldn’t have thought he had killed someone here.

　　However!

　　The next second, Shen Ling saw Xie Yuanxun killing someone.

　　—The slap in the face came too fast; even a tornado couldn’t catch up with this speed.

　　—You’re still killing? It’s already noon. Are you really sure you haven’t gone crazy?

　　Xie Yuanxun looked up at the same time.

　　Shen Ling smiled faintly but inwardly was puzzled.

　　What kind of hearing do you have? Even from this distance, you knew I was coming. My footsteps should have been quite light.

　　Shen Ling slowly approached and then realized that Xie Yuanxun wasn’t killing anyone but was watching someone else do it. A palace servant was bound. Shen Ling’s gaze swept over the ropes. Wet tissues were covering the servant’s face, placed one by one. After four tissues, he was already struggling to breathe. Shen Ling held her breath, feeling extremely uncomfortable. Her chest ached, and a burning sensation coursed through her body.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “What are you looking at?”

　　Shen Ling replied, “Bound and restrained… no, I’m looking to see who he is.” Whew, that was close—almost said something that would get censored.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “A spy bought off by someone.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “Who bought him?”

　　—Who has guts that big, daring to bribe someone inside your palace? A ruthless person.

　　—Curious, really curious.

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “I don’t know.”

　　Shen Ling: “???”

　　—Wait, didn’t you just say he was bought? How do you not know by whom? That’s serious—if the buyer keeps bribing people, what then?

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I kill as many as were bought. Eventually, someone will be scared enough not to get bribed again.”

　　Shen Ling felt her worries were unnecessary. Xie Yuanxun held absolute power. Anyone trying to bribe someone would have to spend a fortune and go through all that effort. One order from him, and all that work would be wasted. Small-time schemes could only hide in the shadows.

　　—This is absolute power breaking all tricks, controlling all tactics.

　　—No matter how many come, it’s all wasted.

　　Shen Ling sighed. “Give him a clean end.” He’s almost dead anyway. Torturing him further won’t reach his mind. No pleading—if someone is bribed, they betray their master. Spies can sell people out in a heartbeat.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Oh.” And with that, he acted—a single stroke ended the man’s life. Blood gushed from the neck, pooling onto the floor. Palace staff silently cleaned it up, then dragged the body away.

　　Shen Ling: “...” Why are you so obedient, I swear!

　　She pulled out her newspaper. “Your Majesty, look at this. Can this be printed?” She remembered the man just killed was a bought spy and asked, “Will this leak information? Will it affect you?”

　　If it did, she wouldn’t go through with it.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “No.”

　　Relieved, Shen Ling felt the tension in her chest ease immediately.

　　He asked, “Who wrote this?”

　　Her eyes lit up. Oh, he thinks it’s good enough to praise someone? “Your Majesty, I wrote it.”

　　Xie Yuanxun frowned. “Your handwriting isn’t even as good as mine when I was a child. Ugly. Did you really use your hands or your feet?”

　　Shen Ling: “...” The light in her eyes vanished instantly.

　　—Heh, next time I’ll make a paper with foot-writing just to make you smell some foot stench!

　　—Was my writing really that bad? Didn’t Liu Yun say it looked beautiful? Oh right… she can’t read.

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced at Senior Eunuch Feng. “Bring me my childhood brushes and ink.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng nodded and went to fetch them personally.

　　Xie Yuanxun turned back to Shen Ling. “From today on, copy my handwriting. Ten sheets a day. I’ll check. No slacking. At least two characters must be acceptable. If not, redo ten more sheets until you meet the standard. I’ll gradually raise the bar based on your progress. If you fail, your hands are useless to you.”

　　Shen Ling twitched. She knew he meant well, but why so extreme, so… villainously intense?!

　　She couldn’t help asking, “Wait, are you seriously going to cut off my hands?”

　　Xie Yuanxun: “Yes. Cut them off, put them in a jar.”

　　Shen Ling: “...”

　　—Seriously? Are you making pickled cabbage now? A jar too? Why not just stick it in the sky while you’re at it?

　　Shen Ling tugged his sleeve. “You still haven’t said if I can print it.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You may.”

　　—Yay!

　　He glanced at her. That’s it? Just agreeing makes her this happy?

　　Inevitably, Xie Yuanxun added, sounding a bit disdainful, “You think this little thing could expose my secrets? Do you have some misunderstanding about me? When someone bribes others, it’s to know my movements, or to scheme benefits from me. And you… what is this? How many meals the kitchen makes each day? Why don’t you write a cookbook instead? And this drama about palace maids going from best friends to enemies… who cares?”

　　Shen Ling burst out laughing, totally ticked off. So, basically, her newspaper had zero sparkle, huh?

　　She straightened her voice, “Just because you don’t like it doesn’t mean others won’t. Besides, this isn’t an official court gazette. Even if it’s about trivial things, plenty of people will enjoy reading it.”

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “You’re angry?”

　　Shen Ling flailed dramatically, “Oh, Your Majesty, you noticed, huh? Tsk tsk, it's incredible…”

　　Expressionless, Xie Yuanxun rubbed her cheek with his hand. “You talk too much.”

　　Shen Ling: “...”

　　—You you you you you attacked me!

　　He looked at her: even without the sneak attack, you wouldn’t win anyway.

　　Shen Ling snatched the newspaper from him. “I’m leaving.”

　　Xie Yuanxun called after her, “Wait.”

　　She mumbled, “What now?” Could he be trying to make her stay with him? Nope, not happening. She had serious business to attend to, unlike him with all his free time.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You forgot to take the copybook.” Senior Eunuch Feng, who had just fetched Xie Yuanxun’s childhood brushes and ink, smiled at her just right.

　　Shen Ling: “...”

　　—You actually just gave me homework! Don’t you have an ounce of conscience?!

 

________________

Glossary:　 

¹“太妃 (Taifei)” is not the same tier as Fei / Guifei.

Short version:

妃 / 贵妃 (Fei / Guifei)

👉 Titles for current emperor’s consorts.

太妃 (Taifei)

👉 Title for a consort of the previous emperor who is still alive.

So:

🎗️Emperor dies

🎗️His concubines do NOT all die or disappear

🎗️The higher-ranking ones get promoted to Taifei status

🎗️They live in their own palaces, semi-retired, no longer “in service”

Why 裕太妃 (Yu Taifei) here?

Because:

🎗️She is NOT the current emperor’s woman

🎗️She was a consort of the former emperor

🎗️She is the birth mother of Princess Yuzhen

🎗️That automatically makes her Taifei, not Fei or Guifei.

Think of it like this (modern brain translation)

Fei / Guifei = current CEO’s girlfriend/wife

Taifei = ex-CEO’s wife, now living on dividends and prestige

Still powerful. Still respected.

Just no longer competing in the harem Hunger Games.

……        

T/N: Hello everyone. Yeah, I disappeared for almost two weeks. Burnout hit, and it hit hard. Translation needs focus and a clear head, not a tired, messy brain. Forcing myself only made me resent both the work and myself, so I stopped and let myself breathe first.

This is just a hobby and something I do for fun, so I’m not about to destroy myself over it. Haha.

Thank you for waiting and for always being patient with me. I really appreciate it. 💖

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