The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 58: You Little Drama Queen

　　After finishing all the memorials, Shen Ling gave her hands a proper massage. Beside her, Xie Yuanxun lounged against a cushion, propping his cheek up with one hand as he watched her. “Did your hands catch some kind of illness? They’re shaking so much they could stir up a breeze.”

　　Shen Ling’s face darkened.

　　—What kind of nonsense is that?! Stir up a breeze? These are hands, not fans, okay?! Can you speak properly for once?!

　　Shen Ling let out two dry laughs, then leaned forward and started fanning his face with both hands.

　　—Oh, you said there was a breeze, right? So tell me, is it strong enough? Refreshing enough? I’m fanning you now, what are you gonna do about it, huh? Hehe.

　　Xie Yuanxun smiled. “One wave, minus two hundred taels.”

　　“What do you think of that proposal?”

　　Shen Ling: “...Not good.”

　　—You really dare to say that. I earn one hundred taels per character reviewing your memorials, and the moment I turn around, you double it and deduct it from me? What are you, some ruthless miser? Seriously, just go away.

　　—No, actually, don’t go. You still owe me my silver. Thinking about it like that… my tolerance for you just went up a little. How touching.

　　Shen Ling started counting the characters she had reviewed, flipping through the memorials one by one. “Twenty-seven… seventy-nine… one hundred forty-five… two hundred eighty-eight! One character is one hundred taels, so two hundred eighty-eight characters makes… twenty-eight thousand eight hundred taels!”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You fanned me six or seven times. Two hundred taels each. After deducting that, how much is left?”

　　Shen Ling replied solemnly, “Your Majesty, don’t act cute with me. Don’t mess around. I will get the silver I deserve, and please don’t ruin your perfect image in my heart, alright?”

　　—Remember what I’m telling you.

　　—If you think you can deduct even a single coin from me, keep dreaming. Right now, I’m like a mythical beast that only takes in wealth and never gives it out.

　　Xie Yuanxun was so annoyed by her serious nonsense that he almost laughed. A wealth-hoarding beast? She was more like a stingy little miser.

　　With a displeased look, he took out the banknotes and handed them to her. Shen Ling beamed with delight.

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced at her sideways. “Do I starve you or deprive you of anything? It’s just a bit of silver, yet you’re this happy. Anyone who didn’t know better would think I treat you terribly.”

　　Shen Ling said, “You should know, no one ever thinks they have too much silver. It’s always not enough.” Since she couldn’t sit here counting RMB (Chinese currency), she might as well settle for counting real gold and silver. She wasn’t forcing herself at all.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “So you’re really planning to keep the part that belongs to me?”

　　Shen Ling: “...Your Majesty, I already told you not to mess around. Why are you still making a fuss?”

　　—Keep this up and you’re no longer my good little baby, you know that?

　　—Men who make a fuss for no reason are the worst.

　　Xie Yuanxun: “......”

　　“Are you thinking something bad about me right now?”

　　Shen Ling was startled by his words.

　　—How did you know?!

　　—Wait, did I say it out loud? No way… I don’t think I did. Oh, I get it, you’re trying to trick me. You scheming man, your tactics are really something. I almost fell for it. Good thing I’m smart enough not to take the bait.

　　Shen Ling put on an innocent face. “What? You think I’m badmouthing you?” She placed a hand over her chest, giving a dramatic defense. “Your Majesty, do I look like that kind of person?”

　　Xie Yuanxun nodded. “You’re not just like that, you are that.”

　　Shen Ling: “......”

　　—Beast. You really only know how to tell the brutal truth.

　　Shen Ling suddenly remembered something and looked at him. “Your Majesty, I had a dream last night.”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “Oh.”

　　—And? That’s it? Just an ‘oh’? What kind of reaction is that? Are you trying to be mysterious or what?!

　　Shen Ling shot him a look, the kind that clearly said, “Ask me, hurry and ask me. If you ask, I’ll tell you.” But seeing that he still didn’t react at all, she had no choice but to be direct.

　　“I had a dream about you.”

　　—So you’re not curious at all?

　　—Can you read between the lines and just ask me already? This isn’t even a hint anymore, I’m basically spelling it out for you.

　　Xie Yuanxun: “......” He remained completely still.

　　Shen Ling: “......”

　　—I knew it! You shameless man, you’re way too confident, aren’t you? You think I’ll tell you anyway, so you don’t even bother asking. Acting all calm and unbothered… fine, I admit it, you guessed right!

　　If he wasn’t going to budge, then she would. Shen Ling let out a huff and started telling him about her dream from last night.

　　“I dreamed that it was already morning, and Liu Zhu came to wake me up to get ready. I ignored her and turned over to keep sleeping. Then you came in, dragged me out, and with a super serious face, took me from Chang Le Palace to a place I’d never seen before. You opened the doors to this huge, empty palace, nothing inside at all, and told me to fill the entire place with sheets of calligraphy practice. If I couldn’t fill it up, you wouldn’t let me leave. You insisted I keep writing.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Why didn’t you just run away?” He paused, then added, “No matter how much I want you to improve your calligraphy, I wouldn’t go that far.”

　　Was that really how she saw him? That strict, that harsh? Why hadn’t he noticed it before? So… was this all just her imagination?

　　Shen Ling pulled a long face. “I ran.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Mm. And after you ran, did you wake up?”

　　Shen Ling looked at him resentfully. “You guessed half right. I did get scared awake by you in the dream. It was only around the Yin hour (3-5 AM), so I closed my eyes and went back to sleep. And then I had another dream.”

　　Xie Yuanxun raised a brow, now a little interested in her dreams.

　　“What did you dream about next?”

　　Shen Ling said, “In the second dream, I saw you waiting for me! You dragged me right back to that palace. I didn’t even get a chance to run, so I could only obediently start practicing calligraphy again. When I woke up the next day, I could still hear you in the dream telling me to come back again next time.”

　　Xie Yuanxun slapped the table and burst out laughing. “Hahaha!” He had already been leaning against the cushion, and with that laugh, he nearly slumped over even more.

　　Shen Ling: “......”

　　—Did I say all that so you could laugh?! I wanted you to reflect!

　　—Both of my dreams had you in them, and the plot even continued from one to the next. I’m so done.

　　Xie Yuanxun kept laughing. “I’ll agree on behalf of my dream self. Next time, go practice your calligraphy in your dreams again.”

　　—Go die!

　　—What do you mean you agree? If I ever have a dream like that again, I’m dragging you in with me and making you review memorials. A whole palace full of them!

　　Xie Yuanxun pulled her into his arms and gently patted her head, almost indulgent. Fine, let her imagine it. What she couldn’t have in reality, she could have in her dreams.

　　Shen Ling shuddered and slapped his hand away.

　　Xie Yuanxun stopped patting her head and instead patted her stomach. “Tomorrow, come somewhere with me.”

　　Shen Ling asked, “Where?”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You’ll find out when we get there.”

　　—Oh? Playing mysterious with me now? You think just because you don’t say it, I won’t be able to guess? Whatever, it’s some kind of place anyway.

　　Xie Yuanxun: “......” She hadn’t guessed it at all, yet she was still saying “some kind of place.” He had never said he was taking her to any “some kind of place.”

　　The next day, after lunch, Xie Yuanxun brought Shen Ling to the polo field he would be using. It was a stretch of grass on the eastern side of the Palace, near the gates. The Imperial Palace of Da Liang was enormous, and this field was about the size of two football fields. Shen Ling didn’t feel it was cramped in the slightest.

　　It just went to show, when your territory is big enough, you can do whatever you want. Want a field? You get a field.

　　What Xie Yuanxun showed her were all his polo mallets, hanging neatly on racks like rows of cured meat, making her eyes go wide. There were all kinds of wood, all sorts of designs. Shen Ling even spotted one with a bald-looking head.

　　—Wait, a bald shape? And it’s green too? This… isn’t that color a bit dangerous? Of all the colors, why pick this one?

　　—Is this what the world of the strong looks like?

　　Following her gaze, Xie Yuanxun’s expression darkened. He casually pointed at that row. “Take these away and throw them out. Replace them with new ones.”

　　The palace attendants replied, “Yes.”

　　Shen Ling said, “They look pretty new though.”

　　—You shameless guy, suddenly wasting things like this.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Fine, I won’t throw them away. I’ll give them all to you.”

　　Shen Ling was just about to agree when her gaze landed on that green one in the row. No, not a green hat, a green-headed polo mallet. She immediately turned obedient. “No need. Your things, your decision.”

　　Her eyes swept around. There were quite a few young nobles nearby, each holding a mallet. Thinking of Xie Yuanxun, she asked, “Your Majesty, are you going to play later?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “Mm.”

　　Shen Ling paused, recalling what Xue Mi’er had said about how skilled he was at polo. Her eyes lit up. “If you’re playing, I’ll watch you.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Who else would you watch if not me?”

　　Shen Ling: “......” Other handsome young men…

　　She gave an awkward laugh. “Of course I’ll watch you. Who else would I watch?” She wiped away the imaginary sweat on her forehead.

　　Shen Ling asked, “Have you picked which polo mallet you’re going to use later?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “No.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “What do you mean, no?”

　　—It’s already been so long, and you still haven’t chosen one?

　　Xie Yuanxun remained calm. “Sharpening the axe won’t delay the chopping of firewood.”

　　—Fine, you’ve got a point.

　　The one he eventually chose was entirely black, with an eagle carved along its body. “This is the mallet I used the last time I played polo.”

　　Shen Ling said, “That eagle looks almost alive.”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “The palace craftsmen cast it using a real eagle.”

　　Shen Ling: “......” Time to go, time to go.

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Do you want it? I can give it to you.”

　　Shen Ling waved her hands quickly. “No, no, no…” She refused so fast that she worried he might get stubborn and insist on giving it to her anyway, so she added, “A gentleman doesn’t take what others treasure. It suits you best in your hands, like a fine sword matched with a general.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “You’re not a gentleman. I think I can give it to you.”

　　Shen Ling: “......”

　　—Why does that first half sound like you’re insulting me?

　　—Who cares what you think is okay or not? I’m rejecting this with both hands and feet!

　　Seeing that Xie Yuanxun still hadn’t given up on the idea, Shen Ling said in a lifeless tone, “Don’t. Please don’t force it on me. I’ll pick one myself.”

　　Xie Yuanxun clicked his tongue.

　　Slowly, he said, “My Bao Fei really has a good temperament. Not greedy at all. Even when I offer you something good, you don’t want it.”

　　Shen Ling: “......” I kind of want to cry.

　　—You call this a good thing? If I take it back to Chang Le Palace, I’ll have nightmares tonight.

　　Putting on a brave front, Shen Ling said, “Of course. I’m just that kind of person, calm in honor or disgrace, living simply without attachment to wealth.”

　　—My heart is already calm. I guess after telling so many lies, I’ve built up resistance.

　　Xie Yuanxun let out a laugh. Listening to her inner thoughts full of self-praise, she didn’t even blush.

　　Since she didn’t want it, he let it go. Xie Yuanxun understood that she was scared of the eagle cast onto it. He had liked it before, but now, he didn’t like it anymore either.

　　Xie Yuanxun tossed the mallet into a palace attendant’s hands and said flatly, “I don’t want it anymore. I’ll pick another one.”

　　Shen Ling wiped her face. “......”

　　—Ancestor, what now? Didn’t you just choose that one? Why did you change your mind again? You’re seriously such a fickle man!

　　Xie Yuanxun said casually, “You don’t like it.”

　　Shen Ling froze for a moment. What did that mean? Because she didn’t like it, he didn’t either? Wait… who handed her this true love script? Was she really that important to him? Wow… so touching!

　　She quickly said, “I do like it! Who said I don’t? I really like it.”

　　—As long as you don’t give it to me.

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced at her. As if he didn’t know she was saying one thing and meaning another. “Even if you like it, I still don’t want it.”

　　—You’re not following the script!

　　—Wasn’t this supposed to be a true love story? How did it switch to a plastic relationship in the blink of an eye? You just changed it like that? You’re not human!

　　—You’re such a petty little drama king!

　　What could Shen Ling do? She could only stick with this petty little drama king and watch him pick again. She’d sacrificed way too much already. Damn it, next time if she knew he was coming to play polo, she’d have to pick his equipment in advance. Otherwise, this stupid, exhausting back-and-forth would kill her!

　　And of course, Xie Yuanxun didn’t think he was being petty at all. She even wondered if he secretly slapped some magical, fairy-tale filter on himself. Otherwise, how could he not see his own nonsense?

　　Shen Ling was already planning to have the Imperial Physician prescribe some hair-nourishing tonics for her later. She wasn’t about to let him make her hair fall out.

　　“Alright, Your Majesty, hurry up and change. I’ll sit over there on the stands and wait for you,” she said.

　　She turned to walk off, planning to sit, sip some tea, and rub her legs for a bit, but Xie Yuanxun grabbed the back of her collar. “Where do you think you’re going?”

　　Shen Ling blinked, caught off guard. “The viewing stand.”

　　Xie Yuanxun snorted. “Who said you’re going there? You’re coming with me.”

　　“......”

　　—You actually want me to watch you change? You, you, you won't stop until you pull some crazy stunt that blinds my eyes, huh!

　　Shen Ling said, “What if I say I don’t want to go...”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “No, you do.”

　　Shen Ling frowned, serious as ever. “I don’t want to.”

　　“Tap!” Xie Yuanxun tapped her forehead with his finger, short and to the point. “Come with me.”

　　—Yes, yes, yes, I’m coming with you.

　　Xie Yuanxun smirked, half teasing, half serious. “Being obedient now?”

　　Shen Ling nodded earnestly. “I have to be. Your hand still hasn’t let go of my collar.”

　　“Oh, I forgot,” he said casually.

　　—You forgot? Sure, whatever.

　　—I knew you were two-faced. You say you forgot, but your hand is still glued to my collar, you stubborn little brat.

　　Shen Ling stayed outside while Xie Yuanxun changed. She didn’t go in with him. Behind the screen, she could only hear the noises, but hearing them only made her imagination run wilder. She cupped her face in her hands, staring at the screen as if she could pierce through it with her eyes and see the “view” it was hiding.

　　Shen Ling froze in place, suddenly questioning her life choices.

　　—Wait, since when did I turn into such a pervy little ghost?

　　Xie Yuanxun stepped out, and Shen Ling’s eyes followed him. He was wearing a fitted black robe embroidered with a dragon, paired with matching black boots. There was a sharper edge to him than usual, but somehow it only made him look even more striking and commanding.

　　“You’ve seen enough,” Xie Yuanxun said. “You can go ahead. I’m not coming with you.”

　　Still a bit dazed, Shen Ling nodded and left. Once she reached the spectator stands and sat down, it hit her—Xie Yuanxun probably wanted her to be the first to see him in his polo outfit. But it’s just clothes, right? Early or late, what difference does it make? Her face remained calm, though her bright red ears betrayed the flutter in her heart.

　　Liu Zhu had already prepared all the snacks and drinks. If she’d been alone, Shen Ling would have sprawled out like a queen on a chaise, but with people around, she sat up straight, her back perfectly poised. She wasn’t about to let anyone think this precious consort was all show, or that Xie Yuanxun’s taste was so lax he’d pamper just anyone.

　　Even though the others in the stands were a bit far from Shen Ling, their eyes kept flicking toward her, some more deliberately than others. Both women and men couldn’t help but admire how favored she was.

　　Shen Jinxiu wore a sharp outfit suited for playing polo. Only he and Shen Kangzheng had come from the Shen Manor. Madam Jiang had deliberately feigned illness, and Shen Xi had volunteered to stay behind to care for her.

　　Shen Kangzheng and Shen Jinxiu sat together, and people noticed that Shen Ling hadn’t sent any palace servants to entertain them. Those sitting closer to Shen Kangzheng quietly muttered in frustration. Shen Ling didn’t like Shen Kangzheng or Shen Jinxiu, and being so close to them risked making it seem like they were on the same side. If Shen Ling whispered a single unfavorable word about them into Xie Yuanxun’s ear, their prospects could be over just like that.

　　Amid this tense atmosphere, Shen Kangzheng casually greeted his subordinates and colleagues before closing his eyes, feigning rest. Shen Jinxiu’s gaze, however, kept drifting toward Shen Ling in ¹fits and starts.

　　Feeling the intense attention directed at her, Shen Jinxiu lowered his eyes, careful not to reveal the undercurrent of emotion swirling within them.

　　Hearing someone say that the situations of him and Shen Ling were like “heaven and earth,” Shen Jinxiu paused. Heaven and earth, huh? Who’s heaven, and who’s earth? He still remembered how proper and modest Shen Ling had been when she first returned to the Shen Manor. Back then, who would even dare compare her to him?

　　In the past, people associated the Shen Manor with him, this gentle, refined man. But now, whenever they thought of the Shen Manor, the first person to pop into their minds was Shen Ling. How could Shen Jinxiu feel anything but bitter about that, letting someone he had once looked down on stand above him in people’s eyes?

　　Keeping his expression neutral, Shen Jinxiu scanned the crowd for Xue Yunshi. According to Xue Yunshi’s plan, he had already gathered the support of many of the Duke of Fuguo’s allies. With Song Qiaochu present, the Duke would naturally side with him. Now, the only question left was how to deal with Xie Yuanxun.

　　Xue Yunshi intended to create an “accident” for Xie Yuanxun, hoping he’d get injured or unconscious so they could seize the moment and stage a palace coup. His agents had learned that a certain prince from the royal clan planned to present a rare white lion to Xie Yuanxun during the Lunar New Year Palace Banquet. They wanted to use that as an opportunity since they normally couldn’t get close to Xie Yuanxun unless he left the Palace. But unexpectedly, Xie Yuanxun had suddenly decided to play polo.

　　Whether Xue Yunshi would act this time, Shen Jinxiu didn’t know. But knowing him as well as he did, and treating him as a wise ruler, Shen Jinxiu could guess his thoughts. Xue Yunshi would likely act cautiously, avoiding direct attacks on people. That left only one possibility: the horse.    

　　Shen Jinxiu thought to himself, if the polo got too intense, there was a chance the horses could freak out and injure someone. But honestly, they were just animals anyway.

　　It didn’t take long before Xie Yuanxun appeared, riding his usual black horse. Seeing him there, full of commanding presence, Shen Ling couldn’t help but gape. He actually looked like a proper man, somehow.

　　Once everyone was on the field, in just a short while, Xie Yuanxun scored one goal, then another. The others didn’t stand a chance.

　　Shen Ling was stunned.

　　This was like a lone wolf crashing into a flock of sheep, leaving the little lambs to fend for themselves.

　　She didn’t doubt for a second that Xie Yuanxun could beat them into little pancakes. Normally, polo was two teams facing off, but here, Xie Yuanxun was basically taking on two teams by himself. Did he even remember he had teammates? Shen Ling glanced at the field, covering her face. Yeah, he definitely didn’t.

　　Her eyes stayed glued to every move he made. She couldn’t even remember how many goals he’d scored. All she knew was that Xie Yuanxun was the MVP of the match, hands down.

　　She murmured, “He’s not scary at all while playing… actually, it’s kind of thrilling to watch.” Then why had Xue Mi’er sounded so intimidated when she mentioned him? Maybe Xue Mi’er just had weird taste?

　　She just thought of Xue Mi’er when Xue Mi’er was already brought over by Liu Zhu. Xue Mi’er had only come to greet Shen Ling properly, but last time she left the Palace with some seasonings, she had made quite a splash at the banquet held at the Princess’s Manor.

　　Shen Ling, “Just stay here and watch with me.”

　　Her viewing spot was by far the best—both for the view and the space.

　　Xue Mi’er happily agreed, “Yes, Your Grace.” She reached into her waist pouch, pulled out a small piece of chili-coated jerky, and said, “Your Grace, this was offered to me by my people. It’s made from beef and very tasty. Would you like to try some?”

　　Shen Ling took the jerky and held it under her nose, inhaling the aroma.

　　This…

　　This was exactly the spicy beef jerky she used to love buying when she was in school. A single pack used to cost her dozens of coins.

　　She couldn’t help thinking, the common folk of this world really shouldn’t be underestimated. They had even come up with something as delicious as beef jerky.    

　　Shen Ling and Xue Mi’er were enjoying their snacks when suddenly, chaos broke out below. A horse went berserk, charging wildly and knocking people to the ground. The crowd erupted in screams, because the rampaging horse was heading straight for Xie Yuanxun.

　　The beef jerky in Shen Ling’s hand dropped to the ground. Her heart skipped a beat. “Feng…!” She practically screamed in her head, Senior Eunuch Feng, save him!

　　Xie Yuanxun didn’t flinch. The frenzied horse reached him in no time. His black hair whipped around as he lifted the reins. The black horse reared up, stomping the crazed horse with precision, each strike ‘thud thud thud’ against its body. Xie Yuanxun raised his polo mallet and slammed it fiercely onto the wild horse’s head. Blood splattered across the mallet. The horse’s legs went weak, and it collapsed, blood slowly seeping into the grass.

　　Shen Ling froze.

　　No need to call Senior Eunuch Feng. Xie Yuanxun had just taken down the horse himself, riding his own mount like a god of war.

　　This… this is what having a master and a horse really looks alike! So brutal!

　　Shen Ling picked up the beef jerky she’d dropped, trying to calm her racing heart.

　　Beside her, Xue Mi’er’s voice trembled. “Y-Your Grace…” She glanced at Shen Ling, as if to say, See that? That’s His Majesty for you. Scared yet?

　　Shen Ling didn’t feel scared at all. Instead, her eyes couldn’t help but linger on Xie Yuanxun’s lean, powerful waist as he took down the wild horse. So strong… drool-worthy… no, not drooling, just relieved he wasn’t going to throw out his back.

　　Shen Ling said, “His Majesty is truly fearless, isn’t he?”

　　Xue Mi’er stammered, “…Y-Yes.” But she couldn’t control her awe and fear toward Xie Yuanxun.

　　Xie Yuanxun held the still-bleeding polo mallet and spoke in a low voice, “Drag the horse away. Feng Zhi, find out exactly what happened.”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng smiled and nodded, “Yes.” His gaze swept over the crowd, the smile soft and gentle, yet so controlled that not even the slightest curve of his lips wavered.

　　Shen Jinxiu and the others knelt on the ground. He didn’t worry about being found out, since he hadn’t touched a thing. Xue Yunshi flinched for a moment, but he reminded himself that the act had been carefully hidden. The horse reacted to a special scent that took time to take effect, so even if Xie Yuanxun investigated, he wouldn’t find anything—the scent would have long since dissipated. Xue Yunshi relaxed.

　　Xie Yuanxun’s gaze swept coldly over everyone. Whoever did this, he would drag them out! He was rarely here playing polo in front of Shen Ling, and someone dared to ruin it—did they want to die? Fine, he would make it happen.

　　Xie Yuanxun approached the stand where Shen Ling was sitting, radiating that deadly aura. He held out his hand. Shen Ling stood, placed her hand in his, and jumped down from the stand. Xie Yuanxun flipped his hand around so she landed safely in his arms.

　　Shen Ling said, “Your Majesty, your expression looks so terrifying.”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s voice was cold, “I want to kill someone.” The intent to kill dripped from every word, his mood not something anyone could disturb.

　　Shen Ling instinctively said, “I’m being good.”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “I know. You’ve been good enough to go chat and eat with everyone else.”

　　Shen Ling froze, “…Uh.”

　　—Even if I’m talking to others or eating, I’m still keeping my attention on you. I can multitask, you know. The beef jerky’s just too good to resist.

　　Xie Yuanxun and Shen Ling rode through the Palace grounds. The palace attendants lining the path kept their heads down, and the atmosphere was calm and quiet.

　　Shen Ling asked, “Are you feeling uncomfortable anywhere?”

　　—Like… did you strain your waist or get numb hands? After all, you had taken down a strong horse with just your bare hands.

　　Xie Yuanxun said casually, “It was just handling a small matter.” In short, he wasn’t hurt at all. His body radiated the unmistakable aura of a powerful man.

　　Shen Ling responded with a soft, “Oh.”

　　—Only someone like you could call killing a raging horse a “small matter” and still sound like a total badass.

　　Shen Ling asked, “If you have someone investigate and it turns out no one caused it, and it was just the horse itself, what will you do?”        

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “If someone did it, it won’t be impossible to find out. And if it really can’t be traced, then it has to be Xue Yunshi and Shen Jinxiu.”

　　Shen Ling asked, “Why?”

　　Xie Yuanxun replied, “Because they’re the only ones scheming.”

　　Shen Ling went quiet.

　　—So they’re just convenient scapegoats for you, huh.

　　—Should I cry crocodile tears for them? Ugh, it’s pathetic. Whether they did it or not, you’ve already sentenced them.

　　Xie Yuanxun traced his fingers over Shen Ling’s face. She twitched her nose, dodging left and right. “Your fingers are covered in blood, you’re smearing it all over me.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said casually, “I know.”

　　—What do you mean you know? You know and still smear my face with blood?

　　He wrapped his arms around her from behind, pressing harder, smearing her face even more.

　　Shen Ling grumbled, “...Have you smeared enough yet?”

　　—Are you kidding me? How childish is this!

　　—Am I a rag for you to wipe your bloody fingers on? Your hands are clean, but my face is a mess!    

　　Xie Yuanxun said with satisfaction, “Now you’ve got a hint of blood on you, just like me.”

　　Shen Ling’s mouth twitched. “……”

　　—Damn, you’re insane!

　　Upon arriving at Chang Le Palace, Liu Yun, who was staying behind, panicked when she saw Shen Ling’s face covered in blood and frantically tried to fetch the imperial physician. Shen Ling ignored Xie Yuanxun, who was chuckling beside her like a little hen, and calmly waved Liu Yun away, saying, “Just bring some water inside and stand guard outside with Liu Zhu. I need to wipe my face. I’m not hurt—it’s just… someone else’s… the horse’s blood.”

　　Shen Ling first cleaned her face with a handkerchief, then looked into the bronze mirror. Her skin was still smooth, fair, and glowing. She pulled Xie Yuanxun over. “Stop laughing. Come and wash your hands.”

　　As she started washing, she asked, “What were you laughing at just now?” She remembered he only started laughing when Liu Yun showed up. Had Liu Yun said anything to make him laugh?

　　Xie Yuanxun stood there like a Lord, not even bending an inch while Shen Ling washed his hands. She seriously considered flinging the wet handkerchief right in his face.

　　He said, “I laughed because everyone in your palace is useless. The moment they see blood, they turn into weaklings. They can’t even speak properly.”

　　Shen Ling shot back, “……What do you know? Liu Yun just panicked because she cares about me. If you got hurt, let’s see if the people in your Taiji Hall would also turn into soft little shrimp.”

　　—Ha, come on, it’s just mutual teasing. Bring it, come on, I’ve never lost at talking smack.

　　Xie Yuanxun looked thoughtful. “We could try. I’ve never done anything like that before.”

　　Shen Ling glared. “Try what? Just behave yourself and don’t go messing around behind my back.” She really was worried he might actually hurt himself.

　　He said calmly, “You’re worried about me.”

　　Shen Ling nodded. “Yeah.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Then I won’t do it. Too much trouble.”

　　Shen Ling snorted lightly and shot him a sideways glance, gripping his big rough hand without saying a word. She didn’t even want to tell him that his follow-up “too much trouble” was simply an attempt to cover up the truth.

　　He asked, “Do you still want to watch me play polo?”

　　Shen Ling nodded. “Of course, I didn’t get enough today.”

　　He said, “Okay, I’ll call you next time I play.”

　　Shen Ling blinked and suggested, “Why don’t you play every day? I can practice my calligraphy while you play polo. That way, we both have something to do and can improve together. Doesn’t that sound good?”    

　　—I did a quick calculation—one polo match takes about an hour. Taking up a little of your time also lets me get back at you for chasing me to practice calligraphy every single day.

　　—It’s not about having too little, it’s about fairness. I can’t be buzzing around like a little bee every day while you sit back and relax.　　

　　Xie Yuanxun, reading Shen Ling like an open book, pretended not to notice. “That’s bad. Then I’ll have less time to spend with you.”

　　Shen Ling almost spat blood.

　　—Less time with me? You’re clearly just watching me suffer and enjoying it! Don’t think I didn’t notice how your voice perked up every time you criticized my calligraphy.

　　She had already made up her mind to make him play polo, and there was no way she’d let him refuse. “Fine if it’s less. We’re always together anyway, I’ll get bored of you eventually.”

　　—Pfft!

　　—Why does that sound so much like a declaration from a scumbag?        

　　Xie Yuanxun leaned down, a teasing glint in his eyes. “You’re bored of me?” His tone was strange, half-serious, half-amused. “You actually despise me?”

　　Shen Ling froze, speechless.

　　—Why are you like this? And how did our conversation even turn into some melodrama where you're the innocent girl I duped, and you're screaming your heart out while I walk away like a cold jerk?

　　Xie Yuanxun couldn’t hold back a laugh. “Hahaha.”

　　Hearing him laugh, Shen Ling went quiet.

　　—You’re teasing me again!

　　She pounced on him, claws out, stamping his feet and scratching at his face. Xie Yuanxun just laughed and held her against his chest, the vibrations of his laughter shaking them both.

　　Holding her tightly, he said, “You’re mine forever. Even if you get tired of me, you’re still mine. Got that?”    

　　Shen Ling gasped, “Ahhh! I get it! Loosen your grip a little, don’t hold me so tight, I can’t breathe!”

　　—Breath is secondary, my chest can’t be squashed flat by you!

　　Xie Yuanxun’s hand slipped along her clothes, pressing lightly. Hmm, all good—no squashing, no shrinking.

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—You, you, you little pervert!

　　Over at the field, after Xie Yuanxun left, Senior Eunuch Feng stayed with the Imperial Guards, keeping everyone on the court. Someone, seeing Senior Eunuch Feng’s calm smile, dared to speak up, “Eunuch Feng, are we allowed to leave now?”

　　Senior Eunuch Feng replied gently, “Why rush? It’s not even dark yet. Once everything’s investigated, I’ll naturally send someone to escort you.”

　　Don’t think Senior Eunuch Feng’s gentle act means he’s actually soft. ²Anyone who believes that might as well start growing a graveyard lawn now. Everyone in the Da Liang Court knows Feng Zhi is Xie Yuanxun’s most loyal servant. Back when the late Emperor passed, Xie Yuanxun ascended and executed entire factions of the Court and Royal family. Whenever Xie Yuanxun gave an order, Senior Eunuch Feng would play this serene, kindly-grandfather act while seeing people off to their doom.    

　　With Senior Eunuch Feng holding the fort, everyone behaved perfectly—because not cooperating wasn’t an option. The Imperial Guards with swords weren’t just for show.

　　By evening, Senior Eunuch Feng finally let the starving crowd leave. Xue Yunshi and Shen Jinxiu exchanged a glance, then each got into the carriages waiting outside the Palace.

　　Shen Kangzheng looked at Shen Jinxiu. “Jinxiu, are you alright?” On the surface, it sounded like he was asking if Shen Jinxiu was shaken up, but what he really meant was whether today’s mess had anything to do with him.

　　Shen Jinxiu shook his head and said gently, “I’m fine.”

　　Shen Kangzheng finally relaxed. “Good, good.” Seeing Senior Eunuch Feng’s stern stance reminded him of the fear when Xie Yuanxun had once ordered the execution of entire households. Xie Yuanxun hadn’t killed ministers or nobles in so long that Shen Kangzheng had almost forgotten just how sharp the Emperor’s blade could be.    

　　He spoke with concern, “Winter’s coming, business isn’t doing well. One wrong move and you could lose everything. Better to pull out early and have a backup plan. Wait too long, and who knows what will happen.” He regretted letting Shen Jinxiu get involved with Xue Yunshi’s schemes. No matter whether Xue Yunshi had the potential to be a wise ruler, the Emperor now was Xie Yuanxun!

　　Shen Jinxiu smiled. “Too late. Even if business is bad, we still have to see it through. I’ve already invested too much energy to quit, and I don’t want to. This time it’s Xue Yunshi’s trial. Next time, I’ll plan even better with him. After all, I am a strategist, aren’t I?”

　　When Xue Yunshi returned to the Princess’s Manor, he left Xue Mi’er behind and strode straight toward the study. Xue Mi’er huffed, “Why does cousin walk so fast? I called him a few times and he didn’t answer.”

　　She only muttered it casually and didn’t bother chasing after him. Why risk annoying Xue Yunshi? She was better off in her own courtyard, letting the cook prepare a few extra tasty dishes.

　　Xue Mi’er remembered the beef jerky she’d given Shen Ling today, and how much Shen Ling liked it. She grinned and told her maid, “Come on, I want to go see Chef Liao. I’m really satisfied with the beef jerky he made. Didn’t he say he had some new experiments? Today I want to try everything. If he does well, I’ll reward him. Oh, and I haven’t given him the reward for the beef jerky yet, so I’ll do that too.”

　　Meanwhile, Xue Yunshi, walking toward the study, was lost in thought and didn’t even notice Xue Mi’er hadn’t followed him. It wasn’t until he sat down that he realized how quiet it was, missing Xue Mi’er’s usual chatter. His fingers tapped on the desk.

　　Xue Yunshi suddenly recalled that ever since Xue Mi’er had gone to the Mulan Hunting Grounds, she hadn’t been as clingy as before.

　　Had Xue Mi’er really given up on marrying him? While he was secretly pleased she wasn’t interfering with his attempts to cozy up to Song Qiaochu, he couldn’t shake the feeling that she’d let go far too quickly, far too cleanly.

　　Xue Mi’er: A person obsessed with looks never stays for just one person. If they do, it’s only because they haven’t found someone more attractive yet!

　　Back when she had wanted so badly to marry Xue Yunshi, it was partly because her family had forced the idea on her and partly because Xue Yunshi was good-looking. Now that Xue Yunshi had his sights on Song Qiaochu, Xue Mi’er had found someone even prettier—Shen Ling. Honestly, Xie Yuanxun was the most handsome of them all, but Xue Mi’er didn’t have the nerve to be obsessed with him. Naturally, she and Xue Yunshi parted ways, and she even earned praise from her family and the world for her “devotion.”

　　Xue Yunshi ignored the stirrings in his mind. With a serious expression, he called over his subordinates and asked, “Has everything been taken care of?”

　　“One’s subordinates have ensured that the entire family of the physician who knew about the special spice were eliminated in an accident. That scent is a family secret passed down through generations, and no one else knows about it.”

　　The spice was unusual. Its scent was faint, barely different from ordinary spices. Humans wouldn’t react to it, but animals became restless and agitated when they smelled it. In larger amounts, the animals would lose all reason. Xue Yunshi had secretly arranged for it to be delivered to a young noble who loved fragrances. Coincidentally, this young noble was the one riding on the polo field today, and the horse that went mad belonged to him. If Xie Yuanxun were to investigate, the blame would fall on the young noble.

　　Xue Yunshi said, “Good, you’ve done well. Recently, don’t wander around carelessly. We’ve got the formula now. Make its effects even stronger.” Thinking of how easily Xie Yuanxun had killed that horse, he added, “The spice I want is one that can make any animal’s full potential spike several times, even tens of times, once it smells it.”

　　“Yes, Marquis.”

　　Xue Yunshi asked again, “Have our people been placed near Prince Xin?” Prince Xin was the one who planned to present the auspicious white lion to Xie Yuanxun at the Lunar New Year palace banquet. Since he wanted to cause trouble there, Xue Yunshi needed to send his men to be close to the white lion.

　　“Marquis, the arrangements are complete. The person you brought back from the hunting grounds is there. He has some skill in taming animals.”       

　　Xue Yunshi remembered who his subordinate was talking about. It was the assassin he had rescued from the Mulan Hunting Grounds. At the time, he had planned to save the person and then absorb the assassin’s organization into his own power. But by the time he sent people to take them in, the hideout had already been wiped out by Senior Eunuch Feng.

　　That left Xue Yunshi with nothing to gain. He didn’t care much about the assassin afterward, leaving him in the hands of his subordinate and paying him little attention. He hadn’t expected to hear about him again now.

　　Worried that the man might hold a grudge, since he hadn’t been treated particularly well, Xue Yunshi said, “Keep an eye on him. After all, he’s someone I brought in from outside, not like you who’ve been with me since childhood. Give him whatever gold or treasures he wants. I have enough.”

　　“Marquis, rest assured. We already took your concerns into account when planning. Once we knew he could tame animals, we made sure to remind him of your kindness every day. Right now, he only acknowledges you as his master.”

　　Xue Yunshi thought everything was foolproof, but Senior Eunuch Feng and the Shadow Guards managed to trace the wiped-out physician’s family and figure out exactly what had happened with the spice on the young noble’s horse that went mad.

　　Xie Yuanxun flipped through the report Senior Eunuch Feng had sent, while Shen Ling was giving him a shoulder massage. She had lost to him at a dice game again—every time she lost, she had to massage his shoulders. And she had been losing so miserably, it was almost tragic, her pants might have gone next. Xie Yuanxun finally said she could stop once he felt satisfied.

　　Shen Ling glanced at the report too and said, “This young noble….”

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “You know I’m going to kill him?”

　　Shen Ling, “......”

　　—Now I know.

　　She said out loud, “He was just caught up in it. Isn’t the punishment of death a little too harsh?” If he had known, sure, he should be punished. But he didn’t, he was framed just because he liked spices.

　　Xie Yuanxun looked at her and asked, “So what punishment do you think he deserves?”

　　“I can consider your opinion.”

　　Shen Ling’s eyes widened.

　　—Wow! When did you get so cute and reasonable?        

　　—Not bad, you have potential.

　　Shen Ling thought seriously, “Punish him by making him clean the ³night chamber pots for a year?”

　　Xie Yuanxun snorted, “Pfft.”

　　He said with interest, “You actually came up with this method of using poison to fight poison to torment someone. You’re wicked.”

　　Shen Ling shivered.

　　—Y-you… just talking, why are you acting all cute?

　　Xie Yuanxun glanced at Senior Eunuch Feng, who reported, “Your servant has already locked him up in prison.”

　　Xie Yuanxun thought for a moment, then said, “Don’t kill him. Feng Zhi, have him sent to the frontier to enlist, and make sure no one helps him. If anyone in the Capital aids him, gives him silver, or smooths things over for him, send them all to join him there.”

　　Shen Ling, “......”    

　　—You’re terrible too.

　　—Sending someone who’s lived a life of luxury in the Capital to the frontier to start from scratch, body and mind both tormented.

　　Xie Yuanxun closed the report, and Shen Ling frowned in protest, “I haven’t finished reading yet.”

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “I have.”

　　Shen Ling, “Read it again.”

　　Xie Yuanxun, “No, I don’t like reading things twice.”

　　Shen Ling, “But you look at me every day, isn’t that repeating too?”

　　Xie Yuanxun’s expression twisted, “Are you a thing?”

　　Shen Ling opened her mouth, “Of course I’m not a thing, I…” She stopped mid-sentence, seriously—“not a thing.”

　　—Damn! I just unlocked the achievement ‘I just insulted myself.’    

  

________________

Glossary:

¹“in fits and starts” is an English idiom. It basically means doing something intermittently, irregularly, or with pauses—not in a smooth, continuous way.

So in that sentence:

> Shen Jinxiu’s gaze, however, kept drifting toward Shen Ling in fits and starts.

It means his eyes kept looking at Shen Ling off and on, sometimes looking, sometimes looking away, rather than staring continuously. It adds a sense of hesitation, shyness, or distraction.

²Anyone who believes that might as well start growing a graveyard lawn now — is a dramatic, darkly humorous way of saying: “If you believe that, you’re basically asking for your own death.”

It’s like a sarcastic threat: anyone naive enough to think Senior Eunuch Feng is really gentle might as well start preparing their own grave—because they’re about to get crushed or eliminated. It’s figurative, not literal.

³Night chamber pot: basically a bucket used at night to collect poop from house to house. 

……

T/N: Hehe, today I’m teaching an English class in the glossary 😂. Honestly, it’s not just for you guys—it’s for me too. Still learning English, so bear with me 😘. And, it's 7k+ words count today. I'm dead tired. 🤧

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