The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 68: It’s All Because She’s Too Adorable

　　During her pregnancy, Shen Ling didn’t feel like her life had changed much. She still ate whatever she wanted, drank whatever she liked, and went wherever she pleased. It had already been over two months since the Chief Physician confirmed her pregnancy, yet her belly still hadn’t started to show. Because of that, she would occasionally feel that being pregnant wasn’t so bad after all.

　　Except for certain moments…

　　“Urgh!”

　　Shen Ling lay on the couch, completely drained. She waved weakly at the palace maids who were setting out the meal. “Take it all away.”

　　She had no appetite at all right now.

　　Forget eating, she couldn’t even stand the slightest smell. The moment she caught a whiff of anything, she would start retching.

　　It wasn’t that she couldn’t eat whatever she wanted. It was just that her stomach had its own opinions. Whatever she managed to eat, it would make sure to send it right back up.

　　Shen Ling had never expected her morning sickness to be this severe.

　　She reached up and touched her cheek. “If this keeps going, I’m really going to lose weight.”

　　There were only a few things she could manage to eat, and even those couldn’t have the slightest smell. They had to be completely tasteless for her to barely get them down. The portions also had to be small enough for her to swallow in one bite, because the moment she started chewing, the nausea would hit. It had to be solid food too, not something like porridge or any kind of liquid.

　　She could still eat some fruit, but fruit wasn’t a staple. No matter how much she ate, it couldn’t replace proper meals like rice and vegetables.

　　Liu Zhu said worriedly, “Your Majesty, please try to eat something. You haven’t had a single bite all day.”

　　“These are meatballs made by Chef Yan. Would you like to try one?”

　　The moment Liu Zhu mentioned meatballs, an image immediately popped into Shen Ling’s mind, meatballs sizzling in hot oil, their surface glistening and giving off that rich, greasy aroma. She…

　　“Urgh!”

　　Shen Ling shook her head desperately. “I’m not eating, I’m not eating.”

　　—Ah!

　　—Waaah, I feel so awful!

　　Shen Ling wiped away her tears. She felt utterly wronged. She had already thrown up until there was nothing left in her stomach. She remembered asking the Chief Physician before whether she would have morning sickness. He had carefully replied that it depended on the individual. Some people wouldn’t experience it at all throughout the entire pregnancy, while others would have severe symptoms right from the start.

　　Back then, Shen Ling had foolishly thought her luck was pretty good. She figured she would be one of those who wouldn’t suffer from it.

　　But unfortunately, she belonged to the latter.

　　Shen Ling gritted her teeth. “Where is His Majesty?”

　　If she couldn’t eat, then he shouldn’t even think about eating either!

　　If it were possible, she would have stuffed the baby in her belly straight into Xie Yuanxun’s stomach.

　　Liu Zhu replied, “His Majesty has gone to court. Don’t worry, Your Majesty. As soon as the court session ends, His Majesty will come see you right away.”

　　Shen Ling was on the verge of tears.

　　—Waaah!

　　—Why is it always women who have to get pregnant? Why can’t it be men, waaah!

　　—They just give a tiny seed, and they even do it while enjoying themselves, but the one who gets pregnant is the woman, the one who suffers morning sickness is the woman, the one who feels miserable is the woman, and in the end, the one who has to give birth and go through postpartum confinement is still the woman. Dear heavens! This is so unfair! Why didn’t you just put the womb inside a man’s body instead!!!

　　“Boom—” A clap of thunder rolled across the sky.

　　Shen Ling’s hand paused as she wiped her tears. She looked up toward the outside.

　　—Is heaven answering my wish?    

　　Liu Zhu lowered the window curtains. “Your Majesty, it’s raining outside. Be careful not to catch a chill.” She kept talking as she worked, “It’s going to keep raining for the next few days. They say spring rain is as precious as oil. With this kind of rain, the crops this year will definitely have a good harvest. We don’t usually get this much rain, so I think… it must be because heaven favors the child in Your Majesty’s belly and is sending down its blessings.”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　Waaah, she didn’t want that kind of favor!

　　Crying and retching like that, Shen Ling soon grew drowsy. With a thin blanket draped over her, she drifted into a deep sleep.

　　When Xie Yuanxun walked into the hall, he saw her sleeping soundly, a tear still clinging to the corner of her eye.

　　He reached out and gently wiped it away, then asked softly, “How much has she eaten today?”

　　Liu Zhu replied, “Your Majesty, Her Majesty hasn’t eaten anything at all. The meals have been set out several times, but she had no appetite.”

　　It wasn’t just a lack of appetite. Shen Ling was throwing up on an empty stomach, and that kind of misery was something you could only truly understand after experiencing it yourself.

　　Xie Yuanxun frowned. “Did none of you try to persuade her to eat?”

　　His tone was sharp, as if he might call someone in the next second to drag them away for punishment.

　　Liu Zhu answered nervously, “This servant did try, but Her Majesty’s morning sickness is really severe…”

　　Xie Yuanxun pressed a hand to his temple, already getting a headache. “Summon the Chief Physician. Isn’t he skilled in medicine? Then have him cure it and get rid of this morning sickness!”

　　Shen Ling, who had just woken up: “……”

　　—Wow, impressive.

　　—No matter how capable the Chief Physician is, he’s still human, not a God. How could he possibly eliminate a natural pregnancy reaction like this completely?    

　　Xie Yuanxun turned to look at Shen Ling. “You’re awake. How do you feel? Still nauseous?”

　　Shen Ling expressionlessly kicked him twice.

　　Xie Yuanxun: “???”

　　Shen Ling said, “I’m fine for now. I don’t feel like throwing up anymore.” After taking it out on him a bit, her mood really did improve.

　　Xie Yuanxun asked, “Then have something to eat?”

　　“Urgh…”

　　Xie Yuanxun hesitated. “Are you actually throwing up, or are you messing with me?”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—What the hell, of course I’m really throwing up!

　　—Are you even human? Bullying a pregnant woman like this, waaah!   

　　Tears instantly welled up in Shen Ling’s eyes.

　　Xie Yuanxun reached out to wipe them away. “Hey, don’t cry. Look, your eyes are already red.”

　　“Waaah…” Shen Ling sniffled. “It’s not something I can control, waaah… If you don’t want me to cry, then don’t make me cry in the first place…”

　　Xie Yuanxun stared at her for a few seconds, then turned his head. “Pfft.”

　　Shen Ling: “!!!”

　　She looked at him in disbelief. “Did you just laugh?”

　　—You did, didn’t you? You did, right? Right?!

　　—Is this how you treat a pregnant woman? You’re cold, heartless, cruel, completely heartless!

　　Xie Yuanxun said calmly, “You heard wrong. I was coughing.”

　　Shen Ling went expressionless.

　　—Heh. Like I’d believe that nonsense.

　　Xie Yuanxun knew he was in the wrong. He shouldn’t have laughed, but who could have expected that the way she cried while complaining so pitifully would be that cute? He simply couldn’t hold it in.

　　It wasn’t his fault.

　　She was just too adorable.

　　Shen Ling: Tch, get lost!

　　She didn’t need that kind of “adorable”!

　　Xie Yuanxun suddenly said, “If you can’t get used to the imperial chefs’ cooking, do you want to try something I make?”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “You can cook?”

　　She had never seen Xie Yuanxun step into a kitchen before. Even that time when they fell into the river at the Mulan hunting grounds and drifted to a small town, the food they ate had supposedly been bought from a restaurant. Only later did she find out it had actually been made by the shadow guards, not bought at all.

　　Xie Yuanxun shook his head. “No.” With his status, there had never been a chance for him to step into a kitchen anyway.

　　“Oh, I see.” Shen Ling said decisively, “Then go cook. I want to eat something you made.”

　　“It has to be made by you personally. No one else is allowed to help,” she added.

　　Xie Yuanxun nodded. “Alright. I’ll go now.”

　　Shen Ling waved him off. “Go on, go on! Do you want me to come with you?”

　　Xie Yuanxun pressed a hand on her shoulder, stopping her from getting up. “No need. Just wait here.”

　　He asked, “What else do you want to eat?”

　　Peking duck, Tianjin Goubuli buns, Shaanxi oil-splashed noodles, Chongqing hot pot, Yunnan crossing-the-bridge rice noodles, Hunan spicy crayfish, Guangxi luosifen…

　　A whole list of dishes flashed through Shen Ling’s mind in rapid succession, but she dismissed it just as quickly. Most of those had similar versions in the Da Liang Dynasty anyway, and honestly, they were even better here.

　　Shen Ling said matter-of-factly, “I don’t know yet, but I feel like once you finish cooking and bring it to me, I’ll definitely know whether I still want anything else to eat.”

　　Xie Yuanxun flicked her forehead. “Alright, I’ll ask you again later.”

　　Shen Ling nodded obediently, “Mm, mm.”

　　She watched as Xie Yuanxun left to cook for her. To be honest, she didn’t really have high expectations, like whether he could make anything on par with the imperial chefs. But then again, he had never cooked before, so she couldn’t help feeling a little nervous.

　　She turned to Liu Zhu and asked, “Does His Majesty know how to light a fire? Cut vegetables? Add oil? Stir-fry? Does he know when to add seasoning, and when the dish is fully cooked so it can be plated?”

　　Liu Zhu looked at her and smiled. “If Your Majesty is worried about His Majesty, why not go take a look?”

　　Shen Ling cleared her throat and said very seriously, “That was your suggestion, not mine. I did not say I wanted to go.”

　　Liu Zhu’s smile deepened. “Yes, yes, of course. Your Majesty is absolutely right.”    

　　Shen Ling dashed out with quick, small steps. Liu Zhu hurried after her.

　　“Your Majesty, slow down, please slow down!”

　　When they reached the grounds of the Imperial Kitchen, Shen Ling finally slowed her pace. Worried that the smell inside might make her feel sick again, Liu Zhu took out a silk handkerchief to cover her face, but Shen Ling shook her head and stopped her.

　　“I don’t need it.” She didn’t feel like throwing up at all right now.

　　She walked to the room where Xie Yuanxun was and stopped the palace attendants from greeting her. Through the window, she peeked inside.

　　Xie Yuanxun stood there with a serious expression, adding all kinds of ingredients into a pot. Senior Eunuch Feng and two sturdy imperial chefs stood nearby. Every time Xie Yuanxun made a slight movement, they looked so tense it felt like they might rush forward and drag him away from the stove at any moment.

　　Shen Ling fell into deep thought.

　　Was she becoming too spoiled just because she was favored?

　　—Wait a second, spoiled?

　　—If anyone was acting spoiled here, it was him. She was the one carrying his child, after all!

　　Noticing Shen Ling had arrived, Xie Yuanxun glanced over. “Just stay outside. Don’t come in. I’ll be done soon.”

　　Shen Ling saw him toss a few more ingredients into the pot, and her scalp tightened. “Your Majesty, I’m not eating anymore. Come out instead.”

　　—You’ve already added so many things into that pot, I honestly don’t even know if it’s still edible.

　　—Oh no! He’s looking over. Did he figure out I’m starting to regret this?

　　No matter how complicated Shen Ling’s thoughts were, in the end Xie Yuanxun still brought out the noodles he had personally made.

　　Shen Ling looked at the bowl of noodles in front of her.

　　—Wow! It’s actually noodles!

　　—Then why did you throw in so many things just now? It felt like you were refining some kind of elixir. The whole process was way too complicated.

　　Seeing her expression and confirming she didn’t look like she was about to be sick, Xie Yuanxun finally relaxed a little. “Eat.”    

　　“Can I even eat this?” Shen Ling blurted out.

　　Xie Yuanxun: “……”

　　He pinched her cheek lightly.

　　Shen Ling quickly tried to make up for it. “I was joking, I was joking. I’ll eat right away.”

　　She picked up her chopsticks, then carefully lifted… a single strand of noodles and brought it to her mouth, tasting it slowly.

　　Her eyes widened slightly. “Huh?”

　　—It actually tastes pretty good.

　　Before she realized it, she had finished the entire bowl of noodles. Xie Yuanxun wiped her mouth for her. “Did you notice you didn’t throw up at all?”

　　Shen Ling: “Ah?”

　　—Oh, right. I really didn’t throw up!

　　Shen Ling said happily, “Did my morning sickness end?”

　　Xie Yuanxun looked at her with an unreadable expression. “Maybe. Do you want to try something else to eat?”

　　Shen Ling glanced at him a few times with suspicion.

　　—Why do I feel like you’re up to something? Like you’re waiting to watch me suffer for fun.

　　Xie Yuanxun: Heh, you think so?

　　So she actually suspected his cooking wasn’t edible. Even someone as proud as him felt a tiny bit displeased.

　　Shen Ling then pointed out a few dishes to the imperial chefs. All of them were their signature specialties. When the dishes were finally prepared and the palace attendants began serving them, the aromas drifted over to Shen Ling, some fragrant, some spicy, some light, some rich.

　　Her expression instantly changed. “Urgh.”

　　Xie Yuanxun gently patted her chest to calm her down, then casually brought over the porcelain bowl she had used earlier, still holding a bit of noodle broth. He held it under her nose, and only then did her dry heaving stop.

　　Xie Yuanxun said, “Looks like you only won’t feel sick when you eat what I make.”

　　Shen Ling refused to believe it and glanced at the other dishes again. Almost immediately, her stomach started acting up. She hurriedly hugged the porcelain bowl, and the nausea eased again. Her expression turned strange.

　　“Is it really true?”

　　—Is this development not a bit too magical?

　　—Don’t tell me my morning sickness can only be cured by eating food you make?

　　—If I hadn’t seen it with my own eyes, I wouldn’t even believe something like this could happen.   

　　Shen Ling quickly accepted this strange new “rule.” Without hesitation, she listed all the dishes she wanted to eat. By the end of it, her mouth was completely dry, which only showed how much she had been enduring all this time.

　　Xie Yuanxun listened seriously. Then he looked at Senior Eunuch Feng. “Feng Zhi, write down all the dishes the Empress has ordered and bring the list to me. Also bring their recipes as well.”

　　“Yes, Your Majesty.”

　　Shen Ling blinked. “Your Majesty, did I order too much? Am I making things difficult for you?”

　　Xie Yuanxun raised a brow. “If I said yes, what would you do?”

　　Shen Ling froze. “……”

　　—I was just asking politely, why are you taking it seriously?

　　—No, Your Majesty!

　　Xie Yuanxun chuckled softly. He leaned forward, kissed her forehead, then gently bumped his nose against hers. Their eyes met.

　　In a warm voice, he said, “You really scare easily.”

　　Then he took her hand and led her back.

　　Shen Ling let out a few small whimpers and leaned all her weight against him, as if even her bones had decided to cling to him too.

　　......

　　Outside the Imperial Prison, Song Qiaochu rode over on horseback. After arriving, she dismounted and spoke a few words to the guards. Then she took out a token, and they immediately let her pass into the prison.

　　“Milord, we’ve arrived.”

　　“Open the door.”

　　Song Qiaochu stood in front of a cell, looking at Xue Mi'er who was inside, disheveled and in a miserable state.

　　During this time, Xue Mi'er had been completely dazed. She never would have imagined that her cousin, Xue Yunshi, would stage a palace coup and rebel.

　　She had already watched several neighbors being dragged away for execution, their heads falling one after another. She was terrified that she would be next.

　　She had never even thought of pleading with Shen Ling for mercy. After all, throughout history, there were almost no cases where someone involved in treason could escape unscathed.

　　At least, she had never heard of one.

　　Seeing Song Qiaochu now, Xue Mi'er felt a wave of panic. “Y-you… are you here to take me to the execution ground?”

　　Song Qiaochu shook her head. “No.”

　　Xue Mi'er swallowed hard. “Then you are here to…”

　　Song Qiaochu replied calmly, “Her Majesty the Empress has ordered that you be sent to a Taoist temple to atone through cultivation. You are never to step outside the temple for the rest of your life. I am here to escort you there.”

　　Tears immediately spilled down Xue Mi'er’s face.

　　She understood now. Her life had still been spared by Shen Ling.

　　She dropped to her knees and pressed her forehead to the ground in a heavy kowtow. “Thank you, Your Majesty the Empress.”

　　Song Qiaochu led Xue Mi'er out of the Imperial Prison. As they were leaving, Shen Xi suddenly shouted, “Take me out too! Take me out of here!”

　　No one stopped or even looked back at her words.

　　Shen Jinxiu said indifferently, “Save your energy.”

　　Shen Xi no longer looked at Shen Jinxiu with even the slightest trace of admiration. Instead, when she saw the scar on his face and his missing arm, her eyes filled with fear and disgust.

　　Shen Xi said, “It’s all your fault for being useless. What kind of crime did I commit to have to suffer alongside a group of rebellious traitors like you? I’m clearly innocent. I’m not even a member of the Shen family.”

　　Shen Jinxiu let out a cold laugh. “Heh.”

　　He had heard that kind of talk more than enough times already.

　　From the opposite cell, Madam Jiang snapped angrily, “You wretched woman! I knew your intentions toward Jinxiu were never pure. How could you say you loved him? You were just after wealth and a comfortable life. Hah, thankfully heaven has eyes and dragged you in here too. Otherwise, just thinking about you living freely outside wouldn't make me die in peace!”

　　Shen Xi shot back, “What do you mean heaven has eyes? I was clearly arrested by Shen Ling’s people! If it weren’t for her, I would have escaped long ago!”

　　Shen Xi did like Shen Jinxiu, but that affection was fragile and could not survive even the slightest setback. If Shen Jinxiu were still the lofty son of a Minister of Personnel, then even if he were disfigured or had lost an arm, Shen Xi would have cared for him with heartfelt pity and tenderness. But now that they were all destined to spend their lives locked away in prison, she no longer felt the need to pretend, and her true nature naturally showed.

　　Hearing Shen Ling’s name, Madam Jiang’s expression turned complicated. There was hatred, resentment, hope, and also a bit of wishful thinking. She hated and blamed Shen Ling for refusing to plead on their behalf. Yet at the same time, she also clung to the hope that one day, if Shen Ling happened to think of them again, she might convince Xie Yuanxun to release them.

　　Unfortunately, Madam Jiang and the others would never live to see the day they walked out of the imperial prison.

　　Xue Yunshi had already died under torture. Shen Jinxiu and Shen Xi were granted permission to be held in the same cell, while Madam Jiang and Shen Kangzheng shared another. From that point on, the rest of their lives would be spent drowning in endless suffering until death.

　　......

　　Sending Xue Mi’er to the Taoist temple for penance was Shen Ling’s idea. It was also around this time that she learned she had once “pleaded” on behalf of Shen Kangzheng and the others. During the joint trial of the Shen family by the three judicial departments, Senior Eunuch Feng had relayed the words that the Empress had pleaded with Xie Yuanxun, resulting in a ‘death sentence waived, but punishment unavoidable’.

　　But Shen Ling knew very clearly that she had never actually pleaded. All of this had been done by Xie Yuanxun.

　　Shen Ling rested her chin in her hands.

　　—This was a slow, cutting way to kill someone.

　　—For Shen Jinxiu and the others, living was worse than death. And right now, they were in a state where they could not even choose to die if they wanted to.

　　Soon enough, Shen Ling pushed these irrelevant people out of her mind.

　　She grabbed a handful of melon seeds from the table and started cracking them.

　　Inside the hall, Xie Yuanxun had already changed into his court robes for morning court. He walked out and sat beside Shen Ling, asking, “Want to come to court with me?” His hand gently rested on her slightly rounded pregnant belly.

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—What did you just say?

　　—Did I hear something I definitely wasn’t supposed to hear? You want me to go attend court with you? Hah, no way, don’t even dream about it.

　　—What if I fall asleep in the middle of court? What if I snore? What if I sleep in some ugly position? I still have pride, you know!

　　Before Shen Ling could even shake her head and refuse, Xie Yuanxun spoke.

　　“You know I had Feng Zhi spread word outside that you pleaded on behalf of the Shen family, right?”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—Damn it.

　　Xie Yuanxun continued, “I also had Shen Jinxiu and Shen Xi, the ones you dislike, locked together in the same cell forever. Oh, and Shen Kangzheng and Madam Jiang too. Same arrangement.”

　　“……”

　　—Please just stop talking.

　　Shen Ling gave him a long, quiet look.

　　“I’ll go. I’ll go to morning court with you, alright?”

　　Xie Yuanxun kissed the corner of her lips. “Good girl.”

　　Shen Ling rolled her eyes; she didn't want to talk to him anymore.

　　Seated in the imperial carriage, she suddenly smiled. Had she ever said it? She actually quite liked how Xie Yuanxun handled Shen Xi and the others.

　　“What are you so happy about?” Xie Yuanxun asked, his finger lightly brushing the smile at the corner of her mouth.

　　Shen Ling felt that since Xie Yuanxun had done so much for her, she should also think from his perspective and do something that would make him happy, something within her ability.

　　So she gave him a bright, sweet smile.

　　“Your Majesty, I'll try to stop you from killing people in the future.”

　　Xie Yuanxun: “……”

　　No. That is really not necessary.

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