The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 69: Shameless

　　Xie Yuanxun sat on the dragon throne, resting his chin on one hand as he flipped through a recipe book he had brought and placed on the imperial desk. Below him, the court officials were busy discussing state affairs.

　　As Shen Ling’s belly gradually grew larger, her morning sickness had eased up. She no longer reacted badly to everything she ate. Even so, Xie Yuanxun still insisted on cooking for her every single day.

　　His dishes had also evolved from the simplest noodle soup at the start to increasingly complex preparations like stir-fried, steamed, boiled, and sautéed dishes, each one more elaborate than the last.

　　Shen Ling sat in the back of the hall, faintly hearing the discussions of the ministers up front. She picked up a stack of memorials from the small table beside the couch. These were regular official reports submitted through proper channels. Compared to the secret memorials, their content was far more “righteous and proper.”

　　Of course, they also came with a lot more nonsense.

　　Since she had nothing better to do anyway, Shen Ling started flipping through them casually. After reading a few, she realized she could treat them like short story scrolls.

　　Most of them were greeting-type memorials. They all followed the same pattern: a minister sees something beautiful or interesting somewhere, then immediately thinks of His Majesty. The Emperor’s wise guidance is always what leads them forward… and so on and so forth.

　　It was all extremely cheesy.

　　Shen Ling was a bit puzzled. With how overly sweet and cheesy those memorials were, how did Xie Yuanxun even stand reading them?

　　Probably noticing how obvious her confusion was, a palace attendant standing nearby softly explained, “Your Majesty, these greeting-type memorials are not read by His Majesty. The palace eunuchs on duty will sort them out and set them aside.”

　　Shen Ling nodded. “Alright then.”

　　Suddenly, the voices of the officials up front rose several notches. It sounded like an argument had broken out.

　　Shen Ling raised a brow and perked up her ears to listen more carefully.

　　The Duke of Fuguo stepped forward and reported, “Your Majesty, in the Eastern Seas, the king of the vassal state Yiliu, which is affiliated with our dynasty, has passed away. However, he left no successor behind, causing internal chaos within the country. The princes are now fighting for power.

　　“One of the princes, in order to shift internal conflict outward, sent Yiliu troops disguised as pirates and bandits to raid the coastal regions of our empire. The common people have suffered heavy losses. Your Majesty, even a small tributary state dares to provoke our Eastern Sea borders. I humbly request Your Majesty to dispatch troops and launch a campaign to completely suppress and punish them.”

　　Minister Qu stepped forward and looked at The Duke of Fuguo.

　　“Send troops? Easy for you to say,” he replied coolly. “Where are you planning to get the grain and military funds for a campaign? It’s not as simple as just saying ‘let’s fight’. Everyone knows we should fight, but do you even understand how much it costs to deploy an army? A single general commands tens of thousands of mouths to feed, and border defense, agriculture, and everything else all rely on the treasury.”

　　In short, as long as Xie Yuanxun did not speak, Minister Qu would not release a single coin. Anyone who tried to pry silver out of his hands would be met with hostility.

　　He guarded the Ministry of Revenue like it was his life. To him, silver was everything.

　　The Duke of Fuguo snorted. “So by your logic, we can only fight the Yiliu Kingdom if we have money? If there’s no money, we just sit back and do nothing? Minister Qu, ever since you took charge of the Ministry of Revenue, when have you ever said there was enough money? You can’t just treat the treasury like it’s your personal vault and refuse to use it when needed. What should be spent still has to be spent.”

　　Minister Qu shot back, “All you ever do is ask for money. I’d love to give it, but the Da Liang court is constantly short on funds everywhere. If we’re allocating silver from the treasury, we have to prioritize based on urgency and importance.”

　　“Oh? So in your eyes, the Yiliu Kingdom daring to provoke our Eastern Sea borders isn’t urgent enough?”

　　“I never said that. The Yiliu Kingdom should be dealt with. If we don’t strike, they’ll just think we’re afraid of them.”

　　“Then just pull out the silver and send the troops. Reserve resources are crucial for sending troops into battle.”

　　“There’s no silver!”

　　“……”

　　The Duke of Fuguo and Minister Qu were completely on the same page about one thing—the Yiliu Kingdom had to be fought, and fought hard. But the moment military funding came up, Minister Qu’s answer was always the same: “no silver”.

　　If they weren’t talking about taking money from the Ministry of Revenue, Minister Qu and The Duke of Fuguo were the best of colleagues, close comrades, practically sworn brothers. But the second silver entered the conversation? All that brotherhood turned into nonsense.

　　The other ministers also joined in the discussion. Most of them supported sending troops to attack the Yiliu Kingdom. The minority… ahem, that group was entirely made up of officials from the Ministry of Revenue. They also agreed that the Yiliu Kingdom should be fought, but when it came to military funds, sorry, they simply didn’t have any.

　　The officials from the Ministry of Revenue even had perfectly solid-sounding reasons ready.

　　“Our troops have little experience fighting at sea. The opportunity to attack the Yiliu Kingdom is not yet mature. I do not agree with launching a campaign at this time.”    

　　“Right, right, exactly. The timing for war just isn’t right. Most of Da Liang’s forces are land-based. We’ve got cavalry and infantry, but our naval strength is still far from enough. And Yiliu Kingdom is separated from Da Liang by a long stretch of sea. If a war breaks out, it’ll mostly be fought on water, not land.”

　　“Last time, when General Yang was in charge of the Eastern Sea Navy, he already took two hundred thousand taels from the Ministry of Revenue. Now you’re asking again. You can’t keep targeting our ministry every single time. If we’re going to war, all six ministries should be involved anyway. After all, we have the Ministry of Works, Justice, Personnel, Rites, Revenue, and War. All six should move together.”

　　The Duke of Fuguo replied flatly, “Fine. Six ministries it is. As long as you give me the military funds, I don’t care what you say.”

　　Honestly, compared to arguing money with that stingy Minister Qu, The Duke of Fuguo would rather take his soldiers straight to the battlefield and start killing.

　　“Wait, what does this have to do with our Ministry of Rites?”

　　“Our Ministry of Justice has nothing to do with this either…”

　　“Same for the Ministry of Personnel here.”    

　　“I say, Minister Qu, can’t you rein in your subordinates a bit? Look at this mess. All of you are so desperate to protect your little pile of silver that you’ve dragged innocent people into this. Isn’t that a bit unfair?”

　　The officials had originally been standing aside with their little “hands tucked in sleeves,” happily watching the showdown between Minister Qu and The Duke of Fuguo. Who would’ve thought Minister Qu would be this shameless? Just for military funds, he dragged even the bystanders into it.

　　That was seriously playing dirty.

　　Minister Qu remained calm and composed, as if nothing bothered him at all.

　　“How is this not related to you? The six ministries all have different duties, yes, but I believe when it comes to matters of national survival, we are all of one heart.”

　　The ministers and officials from the Ministry of Justice, Personnel, Rites, Works, and War: “……”

　　Shameless. Minister Qu was truly shameless.

　　Just to make the other five ministries chip in alongside the Ministry of Revenue, he could say anything, no matter how righteous it sounded.

　　At this point, it was the military faction led by The Duke of Fuguo’s turn to stand aside with their metaphorical little “hands tucked in sleeves,” watching the show.

　　Either way, for them, it didn’t matter. Whether the Ministry of Revenue paid up or all six ministries shared the burden, they were never the ones losing out.

　　They just had to wait for the final outcome.

　　Minister Qu glanced at his colleagues. “Not convinced? Fine, then I’ll break it down for you.”

　　He first pointed at the Ministry of War.

　　“Have you all forgotten your duties? If we really send troops to attack the Yiliu Kingdom, your ministry will be the one most closely tied to The Duke of Fuguo and the other military generals. Your department oversees the Da Liang’s military guards and the appointment of officers. When the generals go out on campaign, aren’t some of the officers under your control also going to the battlefield with them?”

　　“So tell me, shouldn’t you be helping the Ministry of Revenue raise military funds too?”

　　The people from the Ministry of War: “……”

　　Shameless!

　　Next, Minister Qu turned to the Ministry of Works.

　　“War requires weapons, machinery, siege equipment, and the armor and blades used by the soldiers. Aren’t all of those made by your department? Since you’re already responsible for so much, taking on a bit more of the military funding shouldn’t be too hard, right?”

　　The Ministry of Works officials: “……”

　　Shameless!

　　Minister Qu then turned his attention to the Ministry of Justice.

　　“The Ministry of Justice oversees legal rulings and sentencing. Once the Yiliu Kingdom is conquered, won’t you need to try and judge those Yiliu people who disturbed the Eastern Sea border?”

　　“And don’t you need to contribute to the military funds? If you don’t provide the silver and let The Duke of Fuguo and the others take the Yiliu Kingdom down, how exactly are you planning to judge those criminals afterward?”

　　The people from the Ministry of Justice: “……”

　　Shameless!

　　Minister Qu calmly shifted his gaze to the Ministry of Personnel.

　　“The Ministry of Personnel handles the recommendation, appointment, and dismissal of court officials. Once the Yiliu Kingdom falls, as the victors, won’t we need to send officials to govern the territory? Isn’t that something your ministry would be responsible for? Doesn’t that alone justify you contributing some silver?”

　　The people from the Ministry of Personnel: “……”

　　Shameless!

　　Finally, the Ministry of Rites.

　　Minister Qu continued, “Your Ministry of Rites is actually very important. Not only do you promote the rituals and etiquette of our dynasty to the outside world, but you also oversee all ceremonial affairs. Once the Yiliu Kingdom becomes part of Da Liang’s territory, won’t you need to hold grand ceremonies and celebrations to declare our national prestige? But all of that only happens after the Yiliu Kingdom is conquered in the first place. So tell me, shouldn’t you be contributing some silver as well?”

　　The people from the Ministry of Rites: “……”

　　Shameless!

　　In one go, Minister Qu managed to roast all five ministries, and yet none of them could actually find a flaw in his logic.

　　Shen Ling couldn’t help but let out a soft “pfft.”

　　She thought to herself that Minister Qu was basically single-handedly battling the entire court with words. His eloquence was genuinely terrifying. If someone like him were put in a debate team or even a diplomatic group, he would definitely crush a whole bunch of people.

　　Shen Ling originally thought Xie Yuanxun would finally make a decision, but unexpectedly, an official stepped forward at this moment and said, “Your Majesty, the Yiliu Kingdom is a vassal state beyond our borders. For them, our dynasty is the superior nation. Even if they have offended us, we should still persuade them to admit their mistake with benevolence and righteousness.”

　　At those words, many of the officials present stared at him in stunned silence.

　　Xie Yuanxun merely glanced at the man.

　　Behind him, Shen Ling went, “……”

　　—Wow.

　　—So this guy was actually preaching “rule with benevolence” right in front of Xie Yuanxun?

　　—Was he indirectly implying that Xie Yuanxun was not benevolent?

　　—Tsk tsk, what a bold soul. Respect, respect.    

　　Shen Ling didn’t even need to think to know that the official who said those words would not end well.

　　And as expected, Xie Yuanxun’s response confirmed her guess.

　　In a calm tone, Xie Yuanxun said, “That’s a good suggestion. Anyone else share the same view?”

　　His gaze slowly swept across the crowd.

　　The Duke of Fuguo, Minister Qu, and the others all lowered their heads so deeply it looked like there was something extremely interesting on the ground.

　　Prime Minister Yang never expected someone from his faction would be stupid enough to speak up like that.

　　He looked coldly at the official who had just suggested using “benevolence” to repel enemies. This man was beyond saving. He had no intention of stepping out to plead for him, and instead followed everyone else in keeping his head down.

　　After Xie Yuanxun asked, two more officials actually stood up.

　　Prime Minister Yang secretly glanced at their faces from the corner of his eye. The moment he recognized them, he instantly felt a wave of relief.

　　Phew—    

　　That was great news. Not only were people from his faction acting foolish, even Minister Qu’s side and The Duke of Fuguo’s side had idiots too.

　　Xie Yuanxun said coldly, “In that case, this task will be handed over to the three of you. You will go to the coastal regions and use your so-called benevolence and morality to drive away the foreign vassal people who have offended Da Liang. If you fail, then you can throw yourselves into the sea.”

　　“Drag them out.”

　　The officials looked up in shock and panic. “Your Majesty...”

　　The guards immediately entered and dragged them out without hesitation.

　　Xie Yuanxun stood up and said, “Destroy the Yiliu Kingdom and incorporate it into the territory of Da Liang. The Ministry of Revenue, Ministry of Works, Ministry of War, and all other departments are to fully cooperate. This campaign will be led by The Duke of Fuguo. I don’t care about the process, I only want the result.”

　　“Yes, Your Majesty!”

　　After that, Xie Yuanxun dismissed court and left, not forgetting to bring along the recipe book in his hand.

　　When he arrived at the back hall, he met Shen Ling’s bright eyes looking at him, sparkling and full of light.

　　Xie Yuanxun studied her deeply, then lifted a hand to touch her slightly warm cheek.

　　“Want me?”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　—What the hell!

　　—Which eye of yours saw me wanting to sleep with you? Let me tell you, that whole “cool, ruthless, ridiculously handsome” vibe you had just now that almost made me a little stunned, I don’t care about it anymore. Not even a little!

　　—I DON’T. CARE. ANYMORE!!!

　　Xie Yuanxun hugged Shen Ling and gave her a slight shake.

　　“But I want you now.”

　　“Who told you to tempt me just now?”

　　Shen Ling: “……Huh?!”

　　Her lips were trembling.

　　—When the hell did I tempt you? Why do I not know about this?!

　　—You’ve been the only one talking nonsense this whole time. I’m innocent here, completely innocent.    

　　Xie Yuanxun gently brushed the tip of his nose against Shen Ling’s eyelid and asked, “Is that okay?”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　She rolled her eyes without holding back.

　　—Hmph, men.

　　—Your mouth is politely asking for my opinion, but your hands have already slipped under my clothes without permission.

　　Seeing that she didn’t respond, Xie Yuanxun continued as if nothing had happened, “Is it okay?”

　　Shen Ling’s body went soft in his arms. Thinking she was pushing him hard, she actually only gave his chest a light shove and shouted, “You’re way too shameless!”

　　—Your hands and your mouth are living in completely different worlds, okay?!

　　After being thoroughly scolded as shameless, Xie Yuanxun actually laughed. His chest shook slightly with the movement as he carried Shen Ling straight back into the sleeping chamber, where they both tumbled onto the bed.

　　Shen Ling closed her eyes, waiting for him to make his move. But after waiting for quite a while, nothing happened at all.

　　Shen Ling: “???” What’s going on?

　　She opened her eyes and looked over at Xie Yuanxun.

　　He was leaning half-reclined against the pillow, a faint smile lingering at the corner of his eyes and lips. When he noticed her looking at him, he said, “You still haven’t answered me. Is it okay or not?”

　　Shen Ling: “……Xie Yuanxun! Go to hell!”

　　Xie Yuanxun burst out laughing on the bed, laughing so hard he could barely hold it in.

　　......

　　In the end, the two of them still ended up indulging a couple of times.

　　Afterward, Shen Ling was wrapped in a thin robe and soaking in the warm bath. The water was drawn from a hot spring and changed daily. She didn’t sit close to Xie Yuanxun at all. In fact, she deliberately kept her distance. He stayed on the east side, so she drifted all the way to the west to soak on her own.

　　Lowering her head slightly, she glanced down at herself. Aside from her round, pregnant belly, she noticed something else too. Her chest had grown noticeably fuller during pregnancy.

　　—Am I starting to look a bit like a milk cow…?

　　Xie Yuanxun: “Pfft!”

　　Did she have to be this funny?

　　Shen Ling heard the laugh and shot him a look. “What are you laughing at!”

　　—Damn it, acting like this is going to make me think you can hear my thoughts.

　　Xie Yuanxun smoothly changed the subject as he walked over toward her.

　　“I just suddenly remembered what happened on the bed earlier. You insisted on moving yourself, then almost fell. It was a good thing I caught you in time, otherwise you would have fallen right off the bed.”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　She expressionlessly scooped up a large handful of bathwater and splashed it straight at Xie Yuanxun.

　　With a bright yet slightly tragic look on her face, she said, “I’ve changed. I’m no longer that pure and innocent girl I used to be.”

　　Xie Yuanxun leaned close to her ear. “A lustful woman?”

　　Shen Ling: “……”

　　Without a word, she grabbed his head and pushed him under the water.

　　—I’m going to drown you, damn it!

　　—Just enjoy this while I’m still pregnant. The moment I give birth to this kid, your happy days are over!!!

Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter