The Tyrant’s Drama Queen Empress

CHAPTER 5: Such a Sweet Mouth

　　“Ling’er didn’t get much help from us when she entered the Palace, but now that we’ve learned of her situation, it’s not too late to make amends,” Shen Kangzheng schemed. “You’re the Matriarch of the house. In a few days, you should go to the Palace and see Ling’er. Remember to bring some silver with you. She’s already a Guiren in the Palace, so we can’t look at her the way we used to. Judging from the Emperor’s favor toward her, she won’t stop at being a Guiren. If she rises further to become one of the Nine Consorts, you’ll need to pay extra attention to her.”

　　“Yes, it’s best that she becomes a Guiren. Master, you’re the Minister, and she is your daughter, so naturally she can’t be bad. Having a Guiren in the household increases the marriage prospects for Xi’er, her younger sister. If Xi’er’s marriage turns out poorly, how would the outside world judge her?”

　　Madam Jiang disliked Shen Ling. From Shen Kangzheng’s words, she could tell he had made up his mind to smooth things over between her and Shen Ling. Since she couldn’t change it, she had to think about how to get some benefit for Shen Xi. Even if Shen Ling was a Guiren now, that didn’t mean she would always stay favored. If she could arrange a good match for Xi’er while Shen Ling was still in favor, Xi’er might end up living better than Shen Ling in the end.

　　At this point, Madam Jiang could even marry Shen Xi into a noble family to become a princess if she wanted. Shen Ling had finally done something that pleased her.

　　Madam Jiang smiled sweetly and nodded at Shen Kangzheng, looking every bit the loving mother, but the moment he left, her expression changed.

　　“Master is truly foolish. Flowers don’t stay in bloom for a hundred days, and His Majesty’s tyranny is known to everyone. With that dull face of hers, His Majesty is only curious for the moment. He’ll get bored soon enough. Do they really think that just because she’s a Guiren now, she can climb her way to Consort? What a ridiculous dream.”

　　The nanny serving nearby said, “Whether the Eldest Miss ends up favored or not, Madam, you should start making plans for the Second Miss.”

　　“You’ve said exactly what I was thinking.” Madam Jiang dabbed her mouth with a handkerchief. “News of Prime Minister Yang’s visit won’t stay hidden for long. Once the Noble in the Capital hears, invitations will start flooding in. I’ll take Xi’er out to those banquets so everyone can see how exceptional Xi’er is.”

　　The nanny asked, “Madam, should we prepare some money as well?”

　　Madam Jiang let out a small laugh. “Of course. It’s the Master’s command after all. Also, gather some loose silver and send it to the Palace so she can pay the servants. I may not expect much from her, but at the very least, I don’t want outsiders thinking we’re not on good terms.”

　　Madam Jiang didn’t want to become a topic of gossip. She didn’t take Shen Ling’s position as a Guiren seriously at all. How many concubines had that Emperor already killed? He even killed the Empress. Did Shen Ling really think becoming a Guiren guaranteed a peaceful life? Winning the Emperor’s favor was anything but easy.

　　......

　　Shen Ling spent every day in the Taiji Hall attending the Emperor’s bedchamber. Honestly, “attending” was more like—accompanying for sleep. Ever since Xie Yuanxun had scared her, Shen Ling didn’t dare open her eyes immediately upon waking. She’d keep them closed a little while, checking if the Big Demon King had gone crazy. Only if he hadn’t done anything weird would she finally get up. Honestly, she was almost developing a perfect radar for detecting whether Xie Yuanxun had lost his mind.

　　Today, the Emperor had gone to Court. Xie Yuanxun wasn’t someone who attended Court regularly. At most, he might show up twice a month, and only if he felt like it. If he didn’t want to go, he wouldn’t attend even once, let alone twice. There was even a record of Xie Yuanxun skipping Court for half a year.

　　Shen Ling had sighed more than once: a tyrant truly fears nothing.

　　She slinked out of Taiji Hall and, basking in the warm sunlight, returned to the Chang Le Palace with light steps. The weather was so nice she had her attendants set up a couch outside. Once lying down, she began listening to the palace maid’s storytelling.

　　The palace maid might have been only one person, but she could replace a whole theater troupe. If she weren’t missing a giant TV screen in front of her, Shen Ling would swear she was watching a drama.

　　After hearing just the beginning, Shen Ling raised her hand and pressed pause. “Switch it. I’ve heard this one.”

　　“Yes, Your Grace.”

　　The maid switched to another script, but it was one Shen Ling had already heard too. Frowning, Shen Ling watched the girl immediately drop to her knees, terrified. “Pardon me, Your Grace!”

　　Shen Ling was an easy mistress to serve. Technically, palace staff shouldn’t fear her so much, but the truth was the opposite. They trembled because behind Shen Ling was the Emperor. They feared angering her, and if they did, the Emperor could have the guards drag them off to be executed.

　　“Get up,” Shen Ling said. She was used to this kneeling; what could she do if she wasn't? Was she supposed to stand there and lecture them on equality, that no one should kneel? She wasn’t foolish enough to do that. She knew how to sing the right tune for the right audience.

　　“Don’t you have any new storybooks? I’ve already heard all of these.”

　　The maid hesitated. “Your Grace, we don’t.” She hadn’t expected Shen Ling to enjoy storybooks so much.

　　Shen Ling turned to her Head Maid, Liu Zhu. “Liu Zhu, do you know where else in the Palace I could find new storybooks?”

　　She knew the Palace had the Tianlu Pavilion, packed with historical texts and classics, but she just wanted to read novels, not scholarly books.

　　“The storybooks in the Palace are written by people in the Music Palace,” Liu Zhu explained. “If Your Grace wants new storybooks, we can send someone there. The Music Palace also has performers who are skilled in dance and theater.”

　　“The Music Palace?” Shen Ling asked. “Can they come to Chang Le Palace? I want to see them perform the storybooks.”

　　“It is an honor for everyone in the Music Palace to perform for Your Grace,” Liu Zhu said. “This servant will summon them immediately. Please wait for a moment.”

　　Shen Ling didn’t have to wait long. Soon the Music Palace performers arrived. Both men and women were good-looking, and the lead performer handed her several scripts before taking the stage.

　　The performance was vivid. The story was about a poor boy from a humble family. Though they were poor, he was clever and knew the only way to succeed was to take the Imperial Exams. He wanted to study, but his family couldn’t afford it, so he eavesdropped on lessons outside the academy every day. A scholar from the academy noticed his diligence and talent, took him as a disciple, paid for his education, and even married his own beautiful daughter to him.

　　Shen Ling made a soft “hmph” sound, muttering in her mind that the scholar’s investment sure was hefty. She wondered if he would ever get it back.

　　The scholar’s daughter brought a dowry when she married, easing the family’s burden. She raised their son, helped with farming, and although her hands became rough and her face tanned, she became known as a virtuous wife. The man, under the tutelage of the scholar and the academy, became the top scholar in the Imperial Examinations. Then, during a parade, a Princess set her sights on him.

　　Shen Ling: “…”

　　O-Oh, this is so ridiculously dramatic.

　　The Princess was taken with his looks and talent, determined to marry him. Even when he said he already had a wife and children, she still insisted. Helpless, he sent people to fetch his wife and child to the Capital quickly, hoping that once the Princess saw them, she would stop forcing the issue. But on the way, his wife and child were caught in a landslide and died.

　　He was devastated. The Princess comforted him by his side, and he was so moved that he married her. He even brought her to his late wife’s grave, telling her he was living well, that his life was complete, so she needn’t worry anymore. Eventually, he became a high-ranking Minister and spent the rest of his life doting on the Princess.

　　Shen Ling: “…”

　　What is this ridiculous plot? Lose your wife, then get promoted and rich? And that scholar who invested in him even lost everything. Tragic, so tragic! The scholar and his daughter are basically an example for everyone to point at and say “don’t be like them.”

　　The performers noticed Shen Ling’s frown and froze, unsure why she looked displeased. Shen Ling didn’t scold them; she just wanted the story tweaked. The performers immediately adjusted the script according to her requests and got back on stage.

　　The first half of the rewritten story stayed mostly the same: the scholar still married his daughter to the man. Then came the changes:

　　The daughter arrived with her dowry, which now included not only money but also a group of strong maids and servants. She immediately took charge of the household. The farm work was outsourced while she stayed home, reading and playing the zither. Every time her husband passed the imperial examinations, she spent money to get him concubines. By the time he became the top scholar, he had eighteen concubines and had been kept plump and well-fed. This time, a Princess appeared, but she didn’t take a fancy to him. In the end, he returned home as a County Magistrate, and the scholar was widely respected.

　　“Ha ha ha ha!” Shen Ling banged the table, laughing until her sides hurt. “Now this is entertaining! From now on, do it like this.” She wasn’t into stories where the woman selflessly sacrificed herself. She was a little fairy; she wouldn’t let anyone corrupt her with that nonsense.

　　When Xie Yuanxun arrived, Shen Ling was still watching the performers with full enthusiasm. He looked at the stage.

　　There was a man and a woman acting as a married couple. The man was gravely ill, coughing up blood, while the woman counted the household’s wealth and ran to his bedside every day, saying things like, “I’ve been waiting for you to die, and now you finally have—this is perfect!”

　　“Once you’re gone, I’ll spend your money freely, punish your beloved concubine, beat your son, and sleep with a new man every night.” The man seethed with rage and died unwillingly, his death full of resentment.

　　Shen Ling laughed so hard she almost lost her breath.

　　Xie Yuanxun: “…”

　　“What are you laughing at?” he asked.

　　Everyone knelt, and Shen Ling got up, bowed, and said, “Your Majesty.”

　　Xie Yuanxun came closer. Shen Ling lowered her head, watching his black robes draw near until he stopped in front of her. The air was so still it was almost suffocating, and her heart raced. She was just watching a performance; she hadn’t done anything to provoke him… right?

　　He reached out, his index finger brushing her chin. Shen Ling thought deeply that the pressure he used on her chin was just like when he touched her head—gentle, as if petting a small dog.

　　He lifted his hand slightly, able to see her face, and said, “Your cheeks are red from laughing.”

　　Shen Ling replied softly, “I’m laughing at how wicked that female performer is. She’s completely unchaste. How could she be so cruel to her husband?”

　　—Sigh, why does my mouth have to be this sweet, like it’s coated in honey?

 

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